Kuotes on Katrina!

"As you know, FEMA stands for 'Fix Everything My Ass.'" --Jay Leno

"Congress announced a plan to rename the Gulf of Mexico. They want to call it Persian Gulf 2 in hopes that President Bush would send troops there faster." --Jay Leno

"President Bush sent Vice President Dick Cheney to New Orleans. Is that what they need down there? Another person requiring emergency medical help?" --Jay Leno

"Today President Bush asked if his visit to the hurricane zone would count toward the service time he still owes the National Guard." -Jay Leno

"Although the waters have receded from New Orleans, it's still a huge, huge problem and will be for months to come. You see the fresh water is contaminated with oil and gas. Actually, from Dick Cheney's perspective, the oil and gas is contaminated with fresh water." -Jay Leno

"Even President Bush, almost a week later, President Bush said his administration's response to Katrina was unacceptable. Then he said 'Hey, don't blame me, I was on vacation.'" --Jay Leno

"This week there's going to be a New Orleans benefit concert in Madison Square Garden featuring Elton John, Rod Stewart and Stevie Nicks. Apparently, their plan to save New Orleans is to send it back to the '70s" -Conan O'Brien


"Big announcement today from FEMA. They say they believe a big hurricane has hit New Orleans. They can't confirm it." -Jay Leno

"Michael Brown, the head of FEMA, has been relieved of his command. He has been asked to return to Washington immediately. He is expected to arrive in about a week. He had a good excuse, though. He said he thought freezing in the face of national crisis made him look presidential." —Bill Maher

"Everyone is still talking about Hurricane Katrina. Experts say it could take 80 days to drain all of the flood water out of New Orleans. When President Bush heard this he said, '80 days, that’s half a vacation.'" --Conan O'Brien

"President Bush is about to end his five week vacation. He's now spent twenty percent of his presidency on vacation. Compared to Clinton who spent twenty percent of his presidency on an intern." --David Letterman