Thursday, January 28, 2010

Fifty Things I Love About South Dakota

I love Jordan but other bloggers have said it all. So here are my top #50 reasons why I love South Dakota.

1- Only 3 months after you move to South Dakota people will refer to you as the Jordanian because you're the only one living there.
2- You will start understanding what it means to be "endangered species"
3- They sell great beef testicles.

4- There's a lot of Mexican food even though there are no Mexicans.

5- The airport has one terminal, and you can arrive there just half-an-hour before your flight.

6- You'll recognize at least 3 people on the 20-seat plane.

7- Just like Jordan, everyone here has a relative in California.

8- When it's minus 20 degrees all streets are open, everyone goes to work and school and nobody complains about anything.

9- You're one of those very few people who has a passport.

10- Work is always within a 10-minute drive.
11- Everything is always within a 10-minute drive.
12- If you're 14 you can get a driver's licence.

13- All chicks are originally Scandinavian heritage. Enough said.
14- The smell of of horse shit in the street brings back memories from your grandfather's farm in Dibbeen.

15- If your car is stuck in the snow, random strangers will stop by and help you out instead of stopping by to rob your car (like they do in Arizona).
16- In the middle of a snow storm people still drive with their 1960s cars.
17- South Dakota is a diverse state. We have some Asians and also a black couple: Richard and Mary. Nice couple.

18- If anyone in the world is stalking you, you can totally hide in south Dakota and they'll never know how to reach you.

19- A traffic jam means there's a high-school baseball game somewhere.

20- If you're taking a leak at the airport bathroom and your luggage behind you falls on the floor, a nice person behind you will lift it up and hold it for you until you're done pissing.

21- No roaches. They're all dead from the cold weather by October.

22- No matter how cold it gets, it makes you feel better knowing there are people who are more screwed than you are. Thank God for giving us North Dakota.

23- In the snow, to keep the car heated, people keep their cars turned on and leave them to go shopping at the mall. (again, cars don't get stolen)

24- Old people are taken care of by their kids and grandkids.

25- A mother may need 10 seconds to remember the date of birth of one of her kids because she has ten of them.

26- All women over the age of 60 have milked at least 1000 cows in their lives.

27- If you drive on the freeway for longer than one hour you will certainly hit an animal and rip his body into 10 pieces.

28 - Kum and Go is the name of a big grocery store chain.

29- When a plane is in the sky everyone looks up.

30- You can tell the animal by smelling its feces.

31- Scotland, Arlington, Buffalo and Corsica are only two-hours away.
32- The car salesman works part-time as a nurse and on weekends as a bar tender.

33- You can insult anyone's mother or wife but never ever say anything bad about country music.

34- People pray in church for God to protect their cattle.

35- The whole state shares one area code: 605.

36- People wear snow boots (Bostar) to weddings.

37- It could be minus 10 degrees outside but sunny all day long

38- Even though everyone hates the French here, the capital's name is Pierre.

39- And I can tell exactly if you're a South Dakotan by the way you pronounce Pierre. ( and I'm not gonna tell you.)
40- Pierre, a very small city, has two time zones. Over there people can save an hour each day just by driving 4 miles to work.

41- Being a Middle Eastern in South Dakota is exotic. You're one-of-a-kind. People have never seen one like you before. Even if they think you're a terrorist they'll love and you protect you because you're so rare and special.

42- I've been living here 6 months and have already heard this a 100 times every time i travel, "You are the first person I meet who is from South Dakota"

43- The only reference people know from South Dakota is the movie Fargo. (and mind you: Fargo is in North Dakota, and the movie was actually shot in Minnesota).

44- You will have days where every woman you see is pregnant.

45- Everyone here has eaten at least one animal that they could not clearly identify what it was; they just shot it and had to cook it before dark.

46- People believe everything the doctor says even if it has nothing to do with medicine. (In case you visit me here, pretend that Gandhi was born in Jordan).

47- The Valentine gift is a brand new snow shovel.

48- The four seasons are only two, they're called winter and July.

49- When someone tells you, "you've got plenty of pop in your sac" that's not a compliment. They're just saying you have a lot Coke in your grocery bag.

50- Half the town is your family. The other half is your in-laws.


programmer craig said...

18- If anyone in the world is stalking you, you can totally hide in south Dakota and they'll never know how to reach you.

Couldn't they just ask where that one Jordanian guy is at? :o

Liked the list :)

jaraad said...

Man, I re-lived Fargo the movie while reading these hilarious things about SD. I have to watch the movie again now for the fourth time. Insha'Allah this move, from AZ to SD, is for the best. Good luck.

Rula A. said...

Sounds like a friendly and cozy city,, I liked number 24
Old people are taken care of by their kids and grandkids.

kinzi said...

Thanks for this hilarious lesson on a state I am clueless about!! 3anjad, I had NO IDEA, and you are the only person I have every run across from South Dakota, too

Very very cute.

MommaBean said...

Are you saying Ghandi ISN'T from Jordan? Haha! I am SO coming to South Dakota just to bust you, man. Teehee. Hey, but isn't that big rock with four dead white guys carved into it up there somewhere? I seem to think it's SD... No?

bambam said...

LOL ... makes IN sounds like Las Vegas.
Hope you are a nature guy, cause that seems like the only thing you'll be doing there

7aki Fadi said...

That is sooo funny! AND informative.

So 2 time zones? Really???? THat's nuts.

Hareega said...

craig, I can be mistaken sometimes for one of the 3 Egyptian guys

jaraad.. thank you for your wishes. I still have to watch Fargo!

Rula.. it is very friendly as long as you don't offend country music

kinzi, you're not alone, most people in the world know nothing about South Dakota

MommaBean.. yes but that's six hours away from me ! the state is that big

bambam.. I have to become a nature guy, watching cows eat grass and horses taking a dump

7aki fadi.. I know it's insane

Naddoush said...

Thank you for a good laugh - and it was also very informative :-)
And I am from Denmark, I now ABSOLUTE nothing about SD - less than the Americans.

Loved: The 4 season are only 2, they are called winter and July :-D

NasEr said...

so its not that bad ! i see some of what you mentioned makes u feel at home, right ? :d

Hareega said...

Naddoush.. i thought you'd think the scandinavian chicks one would be your favorite !

NaseR... it's not that bad, that's the best way to describe it really

Zaid said...

I bet that your favourite past-time is hanging around Wal Mart and people watch like I do here in Ky...

Duckling said...

hahahaha, I love it! u can check out my list of things i dislike about jordan here

Onzlo said...

How the hell did you end up in S. Dakota?

Hareega said...

Zaid.. spenig time in Walmart is a weekend luxury

Duckling, thanks for the link

Onzlo... I found a good job there, although I keep asking myself the same question everyday, how did I end up there?

m7ammad said...

haha @ 22! Our version is: Thank God for Canada!

Shaheen said...

looool , nice onw zaman 3n mahfatak :d

Anonymous said...

I grew up in South Dakota and had a great family and childhood