Monday, June 13, 2005

Would you blame her?

Layali was showing me the wounds on her legs .....
"So the bullet came from this side, and it penetrated my bones and came out from my foot. There's another in my thigh, and a couple more in my right leg".

Layali was the Sudanese patient I was asked to see recently. She was admitted to the ICU three weeks ago after she ingested large amounts of a very toxic substance. Why? Suicidal attempt. Reason? bad living situations.

This thirty something woman spent half her life in the very ugly atmosphere of war in Southern Sudan. She was shot multiple times, she lost some of her loved ones in war, then there was hope: immigration to the most powerful country in the world. This is her second year in the US and things seem just to get worse. Although she's more safe but she's not more secure, and her life in the refugee camp doesn't seem to get any better, and problems started rising with her husband and kids. Moreover, she does not fit into this new environment. She found herself grabbing a high bottle of antifreeze and swallowing it, to the last drop. She came to the ER vomiting and short of breath and was placed on a ventilator for 2 weeks. Now Layali is breathing on her own and she's almost recovered, but I wonder after we send her out tomorrow out of the hospital, will I see her again next week in the ER after shooting herself in her the head or after swallowing 50 kinds of pills?
And should we blame her for "losing hope and faith" and "giving up so fast", or should we blame the world who is neglecting her suffering and the suffering of hundreds of millions of people all around the world?? Should we blame those who start the wars or those who die from them? Should we blame the woman who had bullets wandering thru her body or blame the ones who made that bullet itself? If Layali eventually killed herself, I'll ask her children to be proud of a mother who was strong enough to stand hell-on-earth for a very long time and worse, stand the neglect and apathy of our indifferent world.

9 comments:

Queenie said...

...or would you blame us?

Q

Anonymous said...

Nice blog Haroog, keep it up,
will be back for more

BB

Anonymous said...

I'm still drinking my early early early Morning Coffee : Insomnia is not a bad thing though it is not a good thing :D
I log into Mahjoob to find that Blingy Blingy Pop Up Blinging in my face......... I thought it would be a garmoosheh PM it turned out it was from you :mad:
nice Site Hareega keep it up
Salah BH

Anonymous said...

~sigh~

Laila , CHE

Hareega said...

Thanx BB, Banihani and CHE , thank you guys for your inital support, la tesnoona khallena nshoofko bel a3yaad el rasmiyyeh at least lool

Banihani,
Sallemli 3ala el-ga6mooosheh lol

Anonymous said...

nice blog Hareega :)

good luck :)

Anonymous said...

Mabrook el site ya abu el hawareeg.
wein el 7alawan??? :P
lazem tedba7 5aroof 3ashan trod 3ein el 7osad min el sitat el monafaseh metel faya3an.com :D

elmohem,
R u encouraging suicide :|

TJ

Anonymous said...

hey ga6moosheh
ahlan wa sahlan sharrafti setti bel site bathba7lek 4 kherfaan o 3 bani admeen eza beddik kaman lol

yeah i like suicide, yalla try it first o wa3ed menni i'll try after you :D

Anonymous said...

yum yum
mansaf bani admeen wela bani hanyeen :P

isma3 bennesbeh lal suicide la2 balesh inta el awel, ya ro7 ma ba3dek ya roooo7 :|

TJ