Goodbye, Goodbye, Goodbye

The moment I met you my life changed. Yours too. From one quick look into your hazel eyes I could tell your life story; how you loved your life but life didn't love you back, how much you loved people but all what they did was look down on you and if they had the chance, step on you and treat you like an worthless insect that deserved no respect. You had many questions and I had all the answers. I read you and you read me, and our journey began on a chilly December Arizonan night.

We had our ups and downs. I worked all day long and couldn't see you, and when I came back home we didn't talk much. Our relationship soured one day after another and I only blame myself for that. When I felt I was losing you I chased you from one corner to another. Every time I'd get closer to you you'd slip away. I only wanted to know you better, to feel you, to smell you, even taste your secrets like no man had ever done, but you ran away from me. You were scared of me and I was scared of myself for you made me discover the big coward living inside of me. When I realized what I've done it was too late to fix anything.

Even when you're gone now, I can still see you in my vivid dreams, and sometimes feel you sneak underneath my pillow and touch my lips and perhaps give me a kiss I thought I did not deserve. I didn't mean to hurt you so bad, I didn't mean to make you look smaller every day in my eyes. I now cannot live with the fact that history can repeat itself and I can repeat the same mistake again.
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(Dedicated to the lovely cockroach I found in my bathroom last winter. Since then I've sprayed her with different sprays, including a hair spray, and poured some good Absolut Vodka over her sacred body until she shrunk to a microscopic size. RIP)