Wednesday, December 05, 2007

The five seconds of silence

On the phone with the secretary.

"Hey Judy, I need 1/1 off, I'm going to New York"

Judy, "Awesome, I'm going with husband and in-laws to New York too. We're gonna watch my sister in a play! If you go to that play watch for her, her name is Amanda."

I asked, "Are they gonna introduce her?"

Judy, "Yes, I'll be happy to, and she's single too, 32, has a kid"

Hareega, "Oh, I meant are they gonna introduce her to us, the audience, so we can know who she is, I didn't to me".

Judy, "Oh...."
Hareega, "Uhmm....."

then came the five seconds of silence......

"So can I take 1/1 off?"

I was talking to my attending physician (kinda my boss) about a patient whose first name is Benito, as in Benito Mussolini.

Hareega, "It's the the first time I meet someone whose name is Benito. He's 36, so he was born after the (second world) war! Why the hell did his parents name him Benito?"

Boss, "Well Mussolini wasn't that bad, not nearly as bad as Hitler. They say at least he made the trains run on time in Italy."

Hareega, "Ha Ha Ha that wasn't easy, Italians can't get anything done on time"

Then I quickly remembered something. I looked at my boss's badge and noticed that his name was as Italian as fettuccini alfredo.

There were five seconds of silence, then we proceeded to talk about the patient.

I'm technically on-call 24/7. I can get paged anytime and I have to call back immediately.

It was 10 pm, I was leaving the hospital, and decided to use the clean bathrooms they have for doctors inside the hospital to release my products of metabolism.

As I was inside, I got paged. I pick my cell phone and call back the number. It was the neurosurgery resident who is also a not-so close friend.

I called back.
She goes, " Hey Ferris you didn't mention in your note how long you wanna treat Mrs. Green for."

"Oh, 4 weeks."
"How long?"
"4 weeks"
"I can't hear you well!"
I realized the signal inside the bathroom sucked. I wasn't in a good position to leave the bathroom.

"I said 4 weeks, FOUR WEEKS, FOUR, CUATRO. FOUR"
"OK, 4 weeks, hey where are you?"

From previous experiences, I realized that it's not a pretty thing to tell people on the phone that you're calling them from the bathroom. It's even worse to tell them you're sitting on a toilet seat.

So she asked , "Where are you, there's a lot of echo around you"
"Yeah I know."
"Are you in a wear house?"

I said, "Oh yeah, in a wear house"
"What are you doing at 10 pm in a wear house!!"

Five second of silence........
Ten seconds of silence.......
then I hung up.


Globalorama said...

Are you sure you want to be a doctor. You would be a great stand up comedian. take off the white robe and join the Axis of Comedy!

Rambling Hal said...

Hehehehehehe, I agree with globalorama, you crack me up!!! :D

kinzi said...

It's unanimous! But stay with the medical practice, so much good material to glean from :)

Ziad d said...

good to have you back!! :) Awkward situations always linger in my head, for years sometimes!

Nas said...

lool...send these two reader's digest...i think you cant like $200 for them.

Anonymous said...

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Maher said...

OMG someone is named after Mussolini!! Crap!

funny situations my friend!

Qabbani said...

LOOL nice 5's :)

7aki Fadi said...

You crack me up Ferris.

Man inta dabsheh about the Italian thing, I had to retrain my brain to not adbosh after I came to Canada since dabesh in Amman is no big deal.

Maioush said...

HAHAHAHAHAHA .... the last one is sooooooooooooo funny :D
leash beseer ma3ak heak ana ma ba3ref :D LOOOOOOOOOOL!!!

The Observer said...

loooool! It is embarassing when things like this happen.

Hareega said...

Thanks guys for reading!

Majd Batarseh said...


tinkerbella said...

looooooooooooooooool, hilarious! yea, im always saying stupid things, so i can relate to the first one
but i make it a rule not to answer the phone wn im in the bathroom :P but lol @ warehouse!!!

Sam said...

LOL those are anymore??

Batoul said...

you made me laugh 3njad,nice!

Devilstine™ said...

hahahaha!! thnx i needed that!