The five seconds of silence

On the phone with the secretary.

"Hey Judy, I need 1/1 off, I'm going to New York"

Judy, "Awesome, I'm going with husband and in-laws to New York too. We're gonna watch my sister in a play! If you go to that play watch for her, her name is Amanda."

I asked, "Are they gonna introduce her?"

Judy, "Yes, I'll be happy to, and she's single too, 32, has a kid"

Hareega, "Oh, I meant are they gonna introduce her to us, the audience, so we can know who she is, I didn't to me".

Judy, "Oh...."
Hareega, "Uhmm....."

then came the five seconds of silence......

"So can I take 1/1 off?"
"Sure....."

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I was talking to my attending physician (kinda my boss) about a patient whose first name is Benito, as in Benito Mussolini.

Hareega, "It's the the first time I meet someone whose name is Benito. He's 36, so he was born after the (second world) war! Why the hell did his parents name him Benito?"

Boss, "Well Mussolini wasn't that bad, not nearly as bad as Hitler. They say at least he made the trains run on time in Italy."

Hareega, "Ha Ha Ha that wasn't easy, Italians can't get anything done on time"

Then I quickly remembered something. I looked at my boss's badge and noticed that his name was as Italian as fettuccini alfredo.

There were five seconds of silence, then we proceeded to talk about the patient.
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I'm technically on-call 24/7. I can get paged anytime and I have to call back immediately.

It was 10 pm, I was leaving the hospital, and decided to use the clean bathrooms they have for doctors inside the hospital to release my products of metabolism.

As I was inside, I got paged. I pick my cell phone and call back the number. It was the neurosurgery resident who is also a not-so close friend.

I called back.
She goes, " Hey Ferris you didn't mention in your note how long you wanna treat Mrs. Green for."

"Oh, 4 weeks."
"How long?"
"4 weeks"
"I can't hear you well!"
I realized the signal inside the bathroom sucked. I wasn't in a good position to leave the bathroom.

"I said 4 weeks, FOUR WEEKS, FOUR, CUATRO. FOUR"
"OK, 4 weeks, hey where are you?"

From previous experiences, I realized that it's not a pretty thing to tell people on the phone that you're calling them from the bathroom. It's even worse to tell them you're sitting on a toilet seat.

So she asked , "Where are you, there's a lot of echo around you"
"Yeah I know."
"Are you in a wear house?"

I said, "Oh yeah, in a wear house"
"What are you doing at 10 pm in a wear house!!"

Five second of silence........
Ten seconds of silence.......
then I hung up.