Thursday, November 20, 2008

Gahwa

Shagfeh sipping coffee, ya raitni shagfet gazazeh bi hal kobbayeh



2004.
At Starbucks.
Hareega, "Can I have a medium-sized Mocha?"

The tattooed girl behind the bar looked at the half-blonde guy with the earings next to her, "Mocha, grande"
Thinking that grande means large, I told her, "No I don't want the grande, I want the medium one"

The guy with the earings looked at me in disgust, as if I was the most illiterate piece of crap who had just stepped down from his camel, and answered with a nasal voice "Well grande is the medium size, the large one is the Venti"

"Venti?"
"Yes Venti, here's your Mocha sir"
I drank the coffee and was glad to learn a new Italian word.
------------------
2005

Starbucks again.
I asked Christine, the awfully hot, only un-tattooed and the shamefully single chick behind the coffee bar, "Can I have a Venti Mocha? I usually take the grande but I need to stay up tonight"

Christine made a brilliant suggestion, "Why don't you add a shot of espresso?"
"Sure"
then she made another suggestion, "I love the White Chocolate Mocha, many girls do, it's my favorite drink"
Automatically, following the gatmoosheh's recommendation I said, "then I'll have the White Chocolate Mocha with an extra shot of espresso".
----------------

2006
"Can I have a Venti White Chocolate Mocha with an extra shot of espresso"
"Sure, do you wanna add a flavor to it for 50 cents ?"
"OK, I'll take the Creme de Mint. whatever sounds French must taste good"
---------------
2007
Realizing how fat I was getting, I added "low-fat" to my drinks.
---------------
2008
" Hi, can I have a low-fat double espresso White Chocolate Mocha with a creme de mint flavor shot and another shot of caramel without whipped creme... oh and make it a Venti"

20 comments:

kinzi said...

LOL, Hareega's Starbucks evolution.

I still trip over Venti.

Hani Obaid said...

lol, did it taste good ? Yous houldn't listen to karmoosheh, she gets paid to make you get extras!

The only way I can even tolerate coffee is if you add chocolate, whip it up into a shake and freeze it!

maroo said...

loooooooooooool adeh 7loo kef el wa7ad bt6wwar .. aktr she 3jbne enk 3m tstafeed mn kol visit eventhough enha 3m tkoon once a year lool :) great one :)

Devilstine™ said...

gatmooosheh's recommendation is absolutely perfect .. due to her " gatmasheh " :P .. cheers

London said...

Hehe I find it amusing how seriously some people take the matter with their “Starbucks Order”. I just like to go to Starbucks and say to the girl behind the till: “Coffee Please”
I’m sure you can construct the conversation that follows :)
I mean after all, if she’s smart enough, she’ll understand that I meant ”Grande skinny wet white chocolate mocha extra shot no cream hazelnut flavour”

Hareega said...

oh kinzi you can't trip over Venti, that will disqualify you from being one of the starbucks people, those who know the difference between the skinny mini wini late mateh and the mocho choco poco skinny mini wini

Hani... they all taste the same man, all these additives are made to cost you more and drop the taste, but the starbucks in amman is the one where the cashier doesn't stop recommedning more additives for your coffee, at least my personal experience.

maroo, it's a slow evoluation!

Devilstine, the gatmoosheh is always right

London... man they all taste the same, in our hospital cefetria they have coffe with about ten flavors each named after either a country in latin america or some weird herb, they all taste the same, i just drink the coffee for the caffeine not the taste. If there was a nasal spray of caffeine I'd spray it in my nostrils every morning and save myself a trip to the coffee place

husams said...

Lol, The strange thing, Italy the origin of espresso coffee but they don’t even have cups sizes! Nor flavours! Starbucks failed to survive in Italy. You get only to drink your quality coffee in an old fashioned ceramic cup, prepared by usually a senior skilful barista rather than the awfully hot Christine. Well good for you Italians, much respects, and Americans lets sit, talk about running a business together!

omar said...

the cup sizes confuse the shit outta me, just like it did with Ms. Swan! haha

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b69Bj9H1zZY

Qwaider قويدر said...

You wouldn't last a day in Seattle :)

Man they give classes for that shit over here!

Hareega said...

husams, interesting, that's like having a chinese company come in to Jordan to teach people how to make mansaf.

omar, thanks forthe link man!!!

Qwaider, Seattle is the source of all that evil. Whenver someone tries to lecture you about it tell him that your greater grandparents invented that shit and the Seattlinians (whatever you call them) have buchered this invention

Whisper said...

what i really like about u that u didn't loose the Jordanian sense in ur language

3ala rasi elshabab el6aybeh :)

Hareega said...

thanks for reading Whisper

za3tar said...

hahaha .. nahfeh

Sam said...

wow...and my husband gives me the look if instead of ordering a medium double double at timmy's i ask for a small double double...or god forbid i ask for a sweetner instead of sugar...he would never be able to do starbucks..not that he would ever step foot in there..but i want to try that pumpkin spice whatever asoom keeps on talking about..so i think i'll go there..gosh what am i going to say?? what is the word for small??

Hareega said...

Sam, ironaically small is called Tall !! There's nothing tall about it

but I think they also have a very very tiny size, my friend drinks that and he just points at the cup and they understand what he wants!

Batoul A. said...

LOL @ gatmoosheh hahahahahhaha I find it amusing, very Jordanian.

double shot does WONDERS when you need to stay awake. The first time I had it, my hands were shaking :S lool

After college, it doesn't have such an effect anymore. Abused.

Deeeeeee said...

Hahaha! Very funny, you reminded me of You've got mail! :)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b69Bj9H1zZY

suha said...

HAHAHAHHAHA dude that was hilarious Starbucks evolution, thank god i don't drink coffee I'd prolly make a fool of myself at the counter

Ali said...

haha that's the American culture, what can you do? In Europe you would simply order a coffee with cream and all come in 1 size and taste much better. All these French names do not exist in Paris except at Starbucks ;)
But the good news is that Americans are buying McDonald's coffee more than Starbucks because of the economical crisis!

Hareega said...

batoul... yeah the little sip of coffee used to get me thru the night, now i drink a Venti just to avoid crashing by afternoon.

Bee, yeah watched that clip, funny!

Suha, they still understand it when you ask for coffee, they'll give you the worst kinf od coffee they have in the place.

Ali, I think it's least expensive when you make coffee at home. Now this is America, you gotta have 20 types of coffee, and 30 flavors of ice-cream, and 200 TV channels but ironically only 2 candidates for presidency