Monday, May 29, 2006

Just Jokes!

To hell with the seriousness, time for a laugh! Here are some jokes that I find funny :)


When Michael Jackson's wife gave birth to a baby boy, Michael was curious when he can sleep with his wife again, so he asked the doctor:"Doc, when can we have sex??"

The doctor replied, "Well, wait for him until he starts walking!"


An elderly gentleman went to the local drug store and asked the pharmacist for Viagra.

The pharmacist said, That's no problem. How many do you want?

The man answered, Just a few, maybe 4, but cut each one in 4 pieces.

The pharmacist said That won't do you any good.

The elderly gentleman said That's all right. I don't need them for sex anymore as I am over 80 years old. I just want it to stick out far enough so I don't pee on my shoes.


Q: What did Saddam call the war on Iraq after he was captured??

A: K*** umm il-ma3arek


A woman announces to her friend that she is getting married for the fourth time.

"How wonderful! But I hope you don't mind me asking what happened to your first husband?"

"He ate poisonous mushrooms and died."

"Oh, how tragic! What about your second husband?"

"He ate poisonous mushrooms too and died."

"Oh, how terrible! I'm almost afraid to ask you about your third husband."

"He died of a broken neck."

"A broken neck?"

"He wouldn't eat the mushrooms."


اثنين سكرانين، واحد بقول للثاني.... هسا راغب علامة بكون اخو عمرو دياب...؟؟
الثاني بقله ... لاء يا زلمة هذا مجرد تشابه اسامي


A man placed some flowers on the grave of his dearly departed mother and started back toward his car when his attention was diverted to another man kneeling at a grave.

The man seemed to be praying with profound intensity and kept repeating, "Why did you have to die? Why did you have to die?"

The first man approached him and said, "Sir, I don't wish to interfere with your private grief, but this demonstration of pain is more than I've ever seen before. For whom do you mourn so deeply? A child? A parent?"

The mourner took a moment to collect himself, then replied, "My wife's first husband."


A married man was visiting his girlfriend one day, when she requested that he shave his beard.

"Oh, James, I like your beard, but I would really love to see your handsome face."

James replied, "My wife loves this beard, I couldn't possibly do it. She would kill me!"

"Oh, please?" the girlfriend asked again in a sexy little voice.

"Really, I can't," he replied. "My wife loves this beard!"

The girlfriend asked once more, and he sighed and finally gave in.

That night, James crawled into bed with his wife while she was sleeping.

The wife woke up somewhat, felt his face, and replied "Oh, Michael, you shouldn't be here. My husband will be home soon!"


On Christmas morning a cop on horseback is sitting at a traffic light, and next to him is a kid on his shiny new bike.

The cop says to the kid, "Nice bike you got there. Did Santa bring that to you?"

The kid replies, "Yeah."The cop says,

"Well, next year tell Santa to put a tail-light on that bike."

The cop then proceeds to issue the kid a $20.00 bicycle safety violation ticket.

The kid takes the ticket and before he rides off says, "By the way, that's a nice horse you got there. Did Santa bring that to you?"

Humoring the kid, the cop says, "Yeah, he sure did."

The kid continued, "Well, next year tell Santa to put the dick underneath the horse, instead of on top."


طفايله وكركيه إشتركو بمقبره مات 11 من الكركيه,
فقال الطفايله: والله غير يعبوها واحنا بنتفرج


مرة 3 ، عربي وانجليزي وياباني..واقفين ع جبل.. العربي حكى مرحبااا .. رد الصدى ــبااااااا.. الانجليزي حكى هالووو..رد الصدى ..ــوووووووو..الياباني حكي ايتشي هوان .. رد الصدى: عيدما فهمت



Anonymous said...


Love those Arabic jokes!

Hareega said...

la 3yoonak !

Anonymous said...

Hehehe, I copied some and sent to my sisters! Now they can have their morning laugh first thing at work tomorrow ;) Loved the Saddam + Mushroom one!

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