Monday, March 06, 2006

A Confession to Make

I always wanted to make this confession but was hesitant to. Now I have this unusual courage so I'll take this rare a chance to say what I had to say long time ago.

My addiction problem started a few years back, probably when I was 18 or 19. Until this day I cannot blame my parents for it, because they've always told me what's right and what's wrong, and encouraged me to be have faith in God and not fall into these sins. But unless you've been an addict, you'll never exactly feel what I've been through.

I had the money and all the means to reach for what I wanted. Nobody could think of me in a suspicious way. I was smart in school and just about to become a decent doctor, my family had a good reputation and I was known for my good manners and cool tempers.

I kept my self-denial and thought I was not really addicted, that I can come of everything easily without trouble, but I was wrong. What made it worse is that I found some irresponsible friends who came with me and we shared those long nights together. To be honest it was great fun, but one day I had a wake-up call and I realized that I can't live like that anymore.

I started to feel that it had penetrated every cell in my body, and I envied chain smokers, Argeeleh maniacs and alcoholics because their problems had a possible solution but mine seemed to have a dead-end. My addiction started to creep into my life.

Eventually, I felt a prisoner inside my body and a slave to a material I never thought it can be so dominating. What made it more painful is that I was a doctor and I had to face people and advise them about their health and the time my addiction has destroyed my life.

The time came when I had to leave Jordan and live alone in America. And I thought to myself "how will I get it in America. I'm pretty sure it's in America, but how can I get this stuff in America?"

Once my feet landed here in Arizona I started building my network to get it, and for those who don't know it well, the quality is so much important and there are types that make you high easily and their effects last longer, and those were the ones I was looking for.

My few days in America were tough, and I failed to reach it and after a few days of abstinence I felt my body aching and every organ in my body was asking for it. I had sleepless nights in the most critical time of my life. Without my faith in God and the support of my family I wouldn't have pulled through this.

In a couple of weeks, I was able to come out of it easily and felt much better. I have been clean for more than a year now and although this experience is nothing to be proud of but beating your addiction is something that can boost your self-confidence.

God bless you all.

Hareega

15 comments:

Hareega said...

just forgot to mention that i was referring to shawerma

jameed said...

if i had it my way now, i would have attached a sheekh shawerma to my veins...shawerma drip

ma aznakh minnak gheir qarabtak...

M!R@CHK@ said...

Hahahhaa good one :P

wedad said...

thnx god you won, and you took ur freedom back ;)
cheerz

manar said...

i was abt to cry! :(
sherreer!

Anonymous said...

il sara7a a pretty bad attempt at comprehension, try something else, maybe sell dorayeh or tormos. way to go man!

reega reega hareega said...

jameed there's something in the genes

mira thanx !

wedad i'm a free man again !

manar hehehe meshyat 3aleki lol but thanx for ur feelings

anonymous bi sara7a khayyo ma fhemet 3aleik eshi lol ur comment is uncomprehnsible

manar said...

dr i tagged you :) check it ...
luv

Devil's Mind said...

childish :S i thought u were talking about drugs or something (N)

Anonymous said...

well i thought u were addicted to mansaf..but seems u r addicted to many kinds of POTS ..shawerma reem betsallem 3alik w bet2olak ..zamaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan..;)

AlOoSh said...

7areega ... walahi enak masheetha 3ali,, I thought sho malo hada enjan... ba3deen et3atafet ma3ak & I said Bravo.. you should be open about ur problem & proud you won... tetla3 at the end Shawerma ... menak lelahhhhhhh :-)

Hareega said...

i think millions of people have my problem but it's under-diagnosed !

The Levant said...

Hareega,you dont stop to amaze me than amuse me ,I am an addict to Pharmaceuticals preparations ,something no one in the Levant even heard of it let be believe in it,if I bring the subject up i am faced with a smile and a laugh .
You have set the stage of addiction with knowledge more than probes ,if you are not a doctor I would say your practice equipped you with the idioms of true addict .are you really joking or reaching for help ?
be serious ,as i may want your advise on how to end my trips from one pharmacy to the other ,because by now after 15 years it is not the psychological shame ,as much as bodily harm .

Leilouta said...

I love shawarma and Keftaji,but I am addicted to tomatoes:)

Hareega said...

the levant... yes i'm a doctor so unfotunately when i comment even on non-medical issues i use a lot of medical terms! thanx for ur time

leilouta... you got a strange addiction my friend!