A Confession to Make

I always wanted to make this confession but was hesitant to. Now I have this unusual courage so I'll take this rare a chance to say what I had to say long time ago.

My addiction problem started a few years back, probably when I was 18 or 19. Until this day I cannot blame my parents for it, because they've always told me what's right and what's wrong, and encouraged me to be have faith in God and not fall into these sins. But unless you've been an addict, you'll never exactly feel what I've been through.

I had the money and all the means to reach for what I wanted. Nobody could think of me in a suspicious way. I was smart in school and just about to become a decent doctor, my family had a good reputation and I was known for my good manners and cool tempers.

I kept my self-denial and thought I was not really addicted, that I can come of everything easily without trouble, but I was wrong. What made it worse is that I found some irresponsible friends who came with me and we shared those long nights together. To be honest it was great fun, but one day I had a wake-up call and I realized that I can't live like that anymore.

I started to feel that it had penetrated every cell in my body, and I envied chain smokers, Argeeleh maniacs and alcoholics because their problems had a possible solution but mine seemed to have a dead-end. My addiction started to creep into my life.

Eventually, I felt a prisoner inside my body and a slave to a material I never thought it can be so dominating. What made it more painful is that I was a doctor and I had to face people and advise them about their health and the time my addiction has destroyed my life.

The time came when I had to leave Jordan and live alone in America. And I thought to myself "how will I get it in America. I'm pretty sure it's in America, but how can I get this stuff in America?"

Once my feet landed here in Arizona I started building my network to get it, and for those who don't know it well, the quality is so much important and there are types that make you high easily and their effects last longer, and those were the ones I was looking for.

My few days in America were tough, and I failed to reach it and after a few days of abstinence I felt my body aching and every organ in my body was asking for it. I had sleepless nights in the most critical time of my life. Without my faith in God and the support of my family I wouldn't have pulled through this.

In a couple of weeks, I was able to come out of it easily and felt much better. I have been clean for more than a year now and although this experience is nothing to be proud of but beating your addiction is something that can boost your self-confidence.

God bless you all.

Hareega