Monday, October 15, 2007

Marrying a Green Card

"Faris, I might have to spend the next week in your place, is that OK?"

"The whole week! Why?"

"My wife is visiting from Detroit and she's gonna stay the whole week in the house"

Meet my Jordanian friend "Hasaballah". A smart young guy who got a college degree in accounting, has a good job, but a few years back decided to become an American citizen. Hasaballah got married to this lady who has a lot of psychiatric problems. She spends most of the year in Detroit but visits him very occasionally and when she does, she gets paranoid and sometime threatens to kill him.

She once pulled a gun at him in the middle of a fight, and Hasaballah had to run semi-naked in the streets.
I was horrifed at the story, not because Hasaballah almost got killed but because some people in town had to see him semi-naked in the streets.

I used to think it was only an Arab thing to get married to an American to become a ctitizen, until a Latino friend of mince told me about "the marriage plans" he saw in Miami.

He told me that if he married a Mexican lady, he would have to pay her about 8000 dollars total to accept and he'd eventually get the citizinship through her, but if it was a Cuban woman it would cost him about 15,000 dollars because Cuban women would get the citizinship and give it to their husbands much faster. He even encouraged me to get married to one.

I know quite a few Arabs here. Many of them got married to American women for the purpose of becoming citizens. Not a single one of them is happy. They think it's easy and straight forward thing, they sometimes have agreements with the woman to pay her monthly until they get the green card, but a zillion problems arise after they sign the marriage papers. I can go on and on with the unthinkable obstacles they went through that got some of them almost deported or even jailed.

It's not worth it.

36 comments:

Qwaider قويدر said...

And that's IF the guy is pure in intentions and lets her know and kind of "plan it" together!
But MANY don't even let her in on his grand plan, and uses the woman as a set to get to his stupid greencard! 5years and 1 day, and she's out!
It sucks!

Asoom said...

What you're talking about is alot of the reason why it's becoming looked down upon, even at times stigmatized, for arab girls with american citizenship to marry guys without papers. Sometimes instead of coughing up that cash the guys find there's ways to get it free and everyone's paranoid about getting taken advantage of!

your friend byistahal ilee 3amlato!

Noura said...

I don't think a green card is worth getting killed or humiliated like this..
Some men are not telling the women of their real intentions..Some of them are being honest from day one,but I know of a lot of people who ended up staying in the marriage because they fell for the ladies who were nice to them, helped through school, and provided some type of stable home..

Qwaider قويدر said...

I love what Noura said. We always fall for someone who takes care of us! It's just how we're designed I guess.

But there's the view of Asoom, which is also VERY important. Many women have suffered from guys JUST wanting them for a greencard. Not this "Just" part is what makes it real evil. It's exactly like someone wanting to marry someone JUST for their money. No money, no marriage!

But same can be said about women who marry a guy for his money, status or even greencard! But somehow men don't really complain much about those :) I guess we're programmed to accept people taking advantage of us men :)

Hareega said...

Qwaider that's right, I know quite a few Jordanians who are married to American or European women and their marriages are very successful because it's based on love and respect, but those who do it for the green card are doooomed.

asoom, yes i know a stroy like that where the girl's family went furious when they knew the intentions of the man. I don't blame them.

noura... these guys deserve everything they go through becuase of their lies. They treat their wives an object so they desere to be treated like trash.

Firas said...

As mentioned, Arab-American girls are becoming more catious.

Anyways, Balla Kam ebteswa El Brazelyeh hal ayyam?

eyad said...

I think this doesn't apply only in the US, but every where,for different reasons of course,taking advantage of others for one owns benefits, its a human nature, people should be careful.

Hareega said...

firas... hehe i'm afraid you got bad intentions

eyad... fee menno, it could be that i'm just exposed more to Arabs doing it than other people

Anonymous said...

You should look at this matter from different angle through Arabs or who come from conservative background and get married to girl from different culture with good intention. Sometime these women will rasie the kids by their own way and it might be un-acceptable by husband .That cause a lot of problems between them and lead to ruin kids life. I think you heard a lot of stories about kidnapping little girls by their fathers and take them to their original country. Then we will watch programs how Muslims are bad and heartless by taking kids from their mums.

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San Antonio Cicily said...

I'm sorry but this is so rediculous all I could do was laugh. This is just crazy. He marries a physco lady to get his green card. Now my husband is looking at me from his recliner wondering why I'm laughing so hard.

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