Tuesday, October 09, 2007

Searching for a testicle


Today I had a craving for testicles. The "baid ghanam" or goat testicles that are extremely delicious and sold everywhere in Jordan. I haven't had them in more than three years and I decided to start searching.
I went to Albertson's and saw the guy at the meat section. I wasn't sure if it was appropriate to ask about goat's testicles for sale. I decided to ask if they had beef's testicles because that sounds more "manly".

"Hello there"
"Good morning sir, how can I help you?"
"Um, do you sell beef testicles?"
"What?"
"Beef testicles ?"
"Is it for Halloween?"
My face turned red, and I started sweating like crazy. "No, it's to eat"
"Um I don't think so sir, I didn't know there are people who eat this stuff"

I pretended to be innocent, "my friend had them in Mexico and he told me they tasted good, never mind, bye!"

I decided to go to a different store (Walmart). They had a huge meat selection.
The person selling meat was a lady. I waited a little bit to see if a guy would come over, but she was the only one selling meat that time.
I decided to be casual in my question, as if I was asking about any other item in the store.

I came close so nobody can hear me and asked, "Hey do you have testicles?"
"What?"
"Testicles, do you have testicles?"
"I don't understand your question" and she really really looked confused.
I started sweating again, this time I was drenched in sweat, and my heart was beating. I asked "do you sell beef testicles here?"
"No!", she answered.
"Any kind of testicles? sheep or goat?"
"No we sure don't"
"Ok thank you".

Although I really needed to buy other things but I felt very embaressed that I ran away from the store as if someone was chasing me.
I called a Jordanian friend in town. "Dude, they don't sell testicles in Tucson!"
"Yes, pretty much everywhere in America they don't sell this stuff, unless you go to an Arabic store and order it in advance, you might get it a week later"
"That sucks"
"Don't worry, I got some tongues from Phoenix"
"Oh that's awesome, will you cook them?"
"Yes, tonight, will see you then"

I guess if you can't get what you want, be thankful with what you've got.

108 comments:

Anonymous said...

just the thing i needed to read! some classic humor!
for a second there i was thinking "dear lord! did that dude turn gay on us or something? i mean, i heard about experimenting but to blog about searching for a testicle?"
now i've read it all!
Hareega's on a testicle hunt! should i send some over? i hear about this killer butcher "no pun intended" in medina riyadiyyeh who makes killer testicle sandwiches :D

haha
searching for a testicle.

Anonymous said...

let me get this straight: you approached a lady in a store and asked "do you have testicles?". good thing she did not call security and accusing you of harassment.

In any case, you may try your luck in some asian store. i have seen almost every part of the pig packaged for sale there. sheep may be a bit hard to find though. you can hardly find lamb meat in stores.

worst case scenario: watch the movie "Hannibal" then call a friend over for dinner.

Anonymous said...

ha ha ha ha. So F'in funny! Asking some lady at Walmart if she has testicles...what were you smoking son!! if you really want some, I will send you some overnight on dry ice. Along with the entire head!

Anonymous said...

HAHAHAHAHA!!!
I LOVE BAid ghanam too .. they're Amazing!

Your best bet is the Arabic store. But I'm craving them as well. And next time I'm in Jordan I sure as hell going to get some!

Fakhr Eddin in Amman makes them AMAZINGLY WELL I highly recommend that you give them a try.

Sa7tain Za3eem!

Hani Obaid said...

Wow, I wouldn't have had the guts to ask them in person.

I love liver, and Faware3' & Karshat myself, never dared try the testicles, and I don't like the way the tongue smells.

Hareega said...

mazz... thanks for the recommendation i will be looking for that man in jordan when i get there and try his testicle sandwishes.

jameed... i think she was so shocked that she couldn't act in any way. i'm sure it's not a question she get asked everyday (well maybe who knows)

luai... if you send me some good ones i will pay one hundred dollars for them, cash.

Qwaider, maybe Arabic stores but i have to place an order, i'll try tomorrow. thanks

Hareega said...

Hani Obaid... believe me when the tongue is cooked it tastes so damn good.

Mohanned said...

Nashmi enta.

Anonymous said...

true, Americans don't eat goat testicales whole. they grind them with other beef leftovers and turn them into hotdogs. worse yet, "nasty things lurk in hot dogs - from ears to eyelids - and delights in sharing this information with his more squeamish friends. In Hog Farm magazine, a U.S. Department of Agriculture official confirmed that "hot dogs contain skeletal muscles, along with parts of pork stomach, snout, intestines, spleens, edible fat, and yes, lips." Don't forget the preservatives, to keep it all "fresh.""

Anonymous said...

Alberson's nor walmart carry these things..Your best bet is at an arabic store or a spanich one..We use to have a store called "Save and Pack" that cater to the spanish community here,I have seen in their meat section packs of tongues,kidneys,even Karsh which they cut and fry..and faware'3 to be used as casing for sausage..
Good luck,May be it's better to wait until you go home,they need special cleaning..

Dandoon said...

ta7sheeesh...you actually went looking for ghanam testicles in Walmart...and why would you need them for halloween!
good luck with your search...post updates as it seems there are alot of faware3'-kaware3-t7aaal-tounge and all weird parts of meat fans online ...and serching ...lol
funniest read in weeks man!

yzzzz said...

Blame it on the Mexicans!The British love these stuff more than Americans.
And while on the subject, can anyone tell me who the hell figured out that eating sheep's testicles is tasty? I'd say that he/she deserves a wikipedia entry.

Unknown said...

I think I'm gonna be sick ...

Anonymous said...

so, let me get this straight, in the absence of testicles, tongue is a good enough alternative?

Adoosh said...

LOOOOOL ta7sheesh Doc!

Try calling the stores asking for ur stuff, this way u spare yourself the embarrassment, sweating, and such :p

Unknown said...

Ok, first of all: MAN YOU GOT BALLS for doing that!

Now, this is the first time I have ever heard of such a thing! Baid what now? Really people eat this stuff here in Jordan? What? I know they eat Karshat, Mukh,and other stuff. But testicles?

I think you should hav went to the other side of the city and looked into small shops. Maybe try China town if you have one. ME/Arab stores.

Dar said...

Mexico !!! Hehehe walak yes3edli el na3'asheh !

CheeerZ!

Anonymous said...

We do eat bull testicles up North (Wyoming, Colorado, Montana, South/North Dakota), and for some reason they're called "Rocky Mountain Oysters"... I have no idea why.

Anonymous said...

that was hilarious, really what were you smoking to ask the lady if she had balls?
I never tried them and will never do, but good luck for you finding some.

Isam said...

I don't know ... i was never convinced of the idea of eating this ... bas what i know that this post revived my Korash urgencies ... bedde amman :(

Maher said...

intresting topic ! looool!!

how do you guys enjoy these stuff??? YUCCK!

i'll tell you what..have you ever ate a frog? i did :P

Anonymous said...

Hahaha ..... this post is awesome!
However, i have never heard of Baid Ghanam! Maybe just a Jordanian thing.

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