Searching for a testicle

Today I had a craving for testicles. The "baid ghanam" or goat testicles that are extremely delicious and sold everywhere in Jordan. I haven't had them in more than three years and I decided to start searching.

I went to Albertson's and saw the guy at the meat section. I wasn't sure if it was appropriate to ask about goat's testicles for sale. I decided to ask if they had beef's testicles because that sounds more "manly".

"Hello there"

"Good morning sir, how can I help you?"

"Um, do you sell beef testicles?"

"What?"
"Beef testicles ?"

"Is it for Halloween?"

My face turned red, and I started sweating like crazy. "No, it's to eat"

"Um I don't think so sir, I didn't know there are people who eat this stuff"

I pretended to be innocent, "my friend had them in Mexico and he told me they tasted good, never mind, bye!"

I decided to go to a different store (Walmart). They had a huge meat selection.

The person selling meat was a lady. I waited a little bit to see if a guy would come over, but she was the only one selling meat that time.

I decided to be casual in my question, as if I was asking about any other item in the store.

I came close so nobody can hear me and asked, "Hey do you have testicles?"

"What?"

"Testicles, do you have testicles?"

"I don't understand your question" and she really really looked confused.

I started sweating again, this time I was drenched in sweat, and my heart was beating. I asked "do you sell beef testicles here?"

"No!", she answered.

"Any kind of testicles? sheep or goat?"

"No we sure don't"

"Ok thank you".

Although I really needed to buy other things but I felt very embaressed that I ran away from the store as if someone was chasing me.

I called a Jordanian friend in town. "Dude, they don't sell testicles in Tucson!"

"Yes, pretty much everywhere in America they don't sell this stuff, unless you go to an Arabic store and order it in advance, you might get it a week later"

"That sucks"

"Don't worry, I got some tongues from Phoenix"

"Oh that's awesome, will you cook them?"

"Yes, tonight, will see you then"

I guess if you can't get what you want, be thankful with what you've got.