Thursday, November 23, 2006

It's about time

It's about time men admit that they are the weaker sex.

I keep hearing men discouraging women from work because she might get sexually harassed. What amazes me is how a man, an adult man, would say clearly ,"I can't focus at work because of all the women around. Why are they allowed to work?"
I got a solution for you boss, castrate yourself or maybe just quit your job and go to the moon and hopefully the creatures there won't turn you on.

If men are the ones chasing women and losing focus in work or college because of them, I'd say let's lock men inside their houses because the victim should not be the one who suffers the consequences of the criminal. I promise you if all men are locked up no woman on earth will sexually harassed, wouldn't that make you happy ? Isn't that your ultimate goal that your sister and wife can work and study away from these monsters from your own sex who are turned on from nothing?

When it comes to covering up it becomes a little bit controversial. I support the woman's choice to cover her as much as she wants from her body or uncover it if she likes to, but I wonder why is it that men are the ones raging about this issue, whether they are pro or against it. Men argue that women are very seductive if they show their hair, and they should cover themselves up to protect him from sinning by jumping on her. Excuse me Mr. Testosterone but if you feel you're losing your concentration because there's a lady sitting ten meters away from you working on a bunch of papers then you are just an animal, or let's say just a human being from a second class. A human being who is weaker than the woman who doesn't complain about you being around as long as you behave yourself.

Some men argue that this is natural, men do get attracted to women more than it's the other way around. They tend to chase them and harass them and even rape them much more than it's the other way around. Cool, when you mention it please don't claim that men are the stronger sex because it looks like you're so damn weak in front of any source of estrogen.

The last argument any man has is the physical power, the muscles, wow. I'm fat and physicallyl unfit and can't lift a 20-pound box without pulling a muscle but that should not give a bodybuilder more civil rights than me.
Shouldn't men wonder that if God gave them more muscles that they gave women something they don't have?

Thursday, November 16, 2006

Remembering Peter Arnett

On my birthday I checked all the great events that took place on that day and changed the world, other than m y birth of course. It was a bit disappointing to read about all the earthquakes and volcanoes, the nice people who died and the massacres and famines that killed people on the day I was born. The only thing that I liked was to know that Peter Arnett was born on the same day.

The reason we miss Beetar is that he was in Iraq reporting stories that his administration did not like. They didn't like him saying that the factory used to make baby milk was bombed by Americans and he was fired for opposing the war in Iraq on TV although other journalists supported that war on TV as part of being "patriotic".

That's what he reported from Iraq in 2003 and cost him his job
"So our reports about civilian casualties here, about the resistance of the Iraqi forces, are going back to the United States. It helps those who oppose the war when you challenge the policy to develop their arguments."

Al-Jazeera doesn't sound too biased to me.

Wednesday, November 15, 2006

معا يدا بيد من اجل حماية الدعارة .... Protecting Prositution

بعض الناس معجبون بزواج المتعة والبعض الاخر بالزواج فقط من اجل المتعة و حديثا بدا الزواج العرفي بالانتشار والفكرة تعجب الكثيرين لان الشغلة ما فيها مسؤولية ولا ارتباط ولا اطفال ولا اساس لتكوين عائلة كل ما فيه انو اثنين معجبين ببعض بس مش عارفين ينامو مع بعض فبقرروا يظحكوا على الناس وعلى الله بورقة

و جديد اجت فكرة عبقرية اسمها زواج فريند تهدف الى حماية الشباب والشابات من تاثير "الانحلال الاخلاقي" للغرب علينا لذلك يسمح الزواج فريند بهذا الانحلال لكن هذا الانحلال بكون انحلال برخصة يعني وثيقة يوقعها الشاب والفتاة المؤدبان العفيفان الذان تحت تاثير الغرب الكافر تاثرت اخلاقهما لكنهما سيوقعان على هذه الورقة وبذلك سيمارسان "حقوقهم الزوجية" بينما الشباب الغربي شعب فاسق لانه يمارس المجون دون توقيع هذه الورقة

مشان الله يا جماعة هذه المصطلحات كالزواج العرفي والمتعة والزواج افريند شوهت من سمعة الدعارة واعطتها اسما سيئا لذلك ادعوا الجميع ال احترام اقدم مهنة في التاريخ وتسميتها باسمها الصحيح

Thursday, November 09, 2006

When America Votes and when Jordan votes

Americans voted today to select people who will proudly have the mission of screwing them up.

Unlike Jordan, you cannot go out in the streets to dance to the music of a 70-year old man shooting in the air without even knowing who was elected.

Here in Arizona people voted against banning gay marriage unlike all other states which voted to ban it. A gay doctor at my work sent an e-mail to everyone expressing his joy and the joy of his partner and mentioned that he is "proud of Arizona". On my behalf I congratulate koll el khawalaat for this result.

A black Muslim won for the first time in the US history after getting 56% of the votes in his district in Minnesota. He was endorsed by Muslims and , after describing that he will not use religion in his campaign and after he showed his great respect for Israel, he was endorsed by the Jews. I never thought before that 56% of Minnesottans are either black, Jewish or Muslims. They all decided to vote him. They were all united to kick the republicans out of that district, united despite their differences.......

Will someone please invite republicans to form a party in the Middle East?

They divide states in America to either red states which are Republican states or blue states which vote for democrates.
Imagine something like that happening in Jordan. We'll be dividied into Bani Sakher states, Hamaydeh states, Majali states and the I-don't-care-about-elections-I-am-here-to-eat-the-mansaf-before-the-elections states.

In Arizona they also voted YES for making English the official language of the state! Imagine Jordanians being asked about having Arabic as the official language of Jordan. Would you think people in certain areas would vote with "NO"? When I hear the speeches of our Parliament members I always think "they need to go back to the third grade to learn some grammar".

Americans voted to approve or disapprove propositions. The main ones were those concerning gay marriage, abortion, raising the minimum wage (per hour), stem cell research and smoking in public places.

I don't think that will work in Jordan. We believe that homosexuality is a virus that affects people in the Western hemisphere. Abortion will always be illegal although it's easier to be performed in Jordan than an appendix surgery. Raising the minimum wage per hour is not a controversial issue because the minimum wage per hour for workers in Jordan will always be the minimum currrency that can be handled to workers. Smoking in public places will never be restricted before doctors agree to quit smoking inside their clinics. Stem cell research might become an issue in Jordan some time in the next five hundred years.

However we can still vote on many propositions, like who in the family is allowed to kill the girl who decided to make a phone call to a stranger, and whether or not we should throw anyone who makes an interview with Al-Jazeera in jail. Our Parliament members will be very enthusiastic to vote to raise the minimum wage, for themselves.

During the whole elections, Republicans were scaring the hell out of people that if democrates won rates won, everything will go wrong in America and the rest of the world. Given that this is already happening, people thought they had nothing to lose and chose to vote for democrates. Comedian Stephen Colbert made fun of that in his show, saying:

"Tomorrow you're all gonna wake up in a brave new world. A world where the constitution gets trampled by an army of terrorist clones created in a stem cell research lab run by homosexual doctors who sterilize their instruments over burning American flags. Where tax and spend Democrats take all your hard earned money and use it to buy electric cars for National Public Radio and teach evolution to illegal immigrants. Oh, and everybody is high! Whooooa"

Ironically, he was ironic.

Tuesday, November 07, 2006

Anxiety Problems


Just arrived to the US

Not knowing where to stay in Connecticut or how to pronounce Connecticut , I found a room at an old lady's house, for 400 dollars a month, great deal, and I had no other options.

She was 80 years old and bitchin'

On the phone, she told me "Will you be comfortable living with Heidi?"

I said, "Oh yeah, I'll be very comfortable living with Heidi"

She said, "Great. She's a pure German Shepherd"

I'm not a friend with animals. I fear them and they fear me, but this was my only option, I was ready to live with a dinosaur if I had to.

We met and she introduced me to Heidi, Heidi jumped and licked my hand, and I froze for fifteen minutes.

For the next three days I locked myself inside my room to avoid Heidi.
I had to go to work every morning, I used to sneak out barefoot from my room so I wouldn't wake up Heidi, and I would wear my shoes outside. The old lady noticed that I was not the dog's best friend.

On the fifth day, I returned home in the evening and found that all my clothes and books are covered with shit. It was clear that Heidi has defecated on all my belongings while I was not there. I told the old lady.

the old lady screamed at me, "You're a doctor, do you think she has cancer?"

I said, "Yes, and she might die soon"

the lady was horrified, "Maybe I should take her to a vet"

The day after that, July 3rd , which I remeber very well, I returned home thinking, "I hope the bitch took the bitch to a doctor so she'd stop shitting on my stuff"

I opened the door and the old lady looked at me very seriously.

"Listen, I took Heidi to psychiatrist today, and he told me that she is suffering from an anxiety problem because of you"

I looked at the lady , "Anxiety problem?"

She said, "Yes , she's very anxious because of you, you're a stranger and my sweet Heidi is not comfortable with you in the house. You have to leave now. Hurry up and pack your clothes, I found you another place to go to. I don't want you to live on the street, and I'll give you the 400 dollars back."

I was shocked. "Ok can't we go tomorrow?"

She said, "No, No, I told you she has an anxiety problem. You have to leave NOW"

I felt the old lady was more anxious than her dog and I didn't want her to get a heart attack because I needed someone to drive me to my new location, so I went back to my room and started packing my luggages that I unpacked only a few days back.

I couldn't believe she took her to a psychiatrist. I remembered how in Jordan we had people trying to kill themselves and their whole tribe and claim they were Bill Clinton and James Bond before their families would even consider taking them to a psychiatrist, and now this dog went to see a dog psychiatrist for her "anxiety problem".

The old lady dropped me at my new location. It was also the house of another senior citizen.

She greeted me with a smile, "Welcome to my house, so you're a medical student?"


"From where?"


"Is that in Tennessee?"

"No it's in the Middle East, next to Iraq, Syria, Turkey, Saudi Arabia...."
(That was before 9/11)

"Hmmmmm.... ???"

"Western Asia"

"I see, close to Russia?"


She hesitated for a few seconds, then added, "I heard you eat dogs there"

"No, we don't, we don't eat dogs"

"Do you eat cats"

"No we don't eat cats either"

"Good, because I have a cat" and she pointed a golden fat cat sitting arrogantly on sofa next to the TV.

With all my courage, I went to the cat , hugged it and kissed it on its disgusting small nose or whatever protrusion there was between the eyes. The cat was shocked and gave me a loud Meawww and the lady smiled back at me.

I went to bed that night, praying for him to keep all the anxiety problems away from our cats and dogs.

O Canada... We will be there


Jordan qualified to the U-20 WORLD CUP held next year in Canada after defeating China 2-1 in the Asian Cup.

It's always nice to defeat a team of a nation of one billion and be the only Arab representative from Asia in the biggest international competition.

See you next year in Canada, I'll be there.

Mabrook !!

Monday, November 06, 2006


I don't know how to write movie previews, but this movie is the funniest thing I have ever seen.

I never missed any of his "Da Ali G show" episodes, but the movie kicks ass.

Briefly, it's a story of a man from Kazakhistan (Eastern Europe) who visits the US and is faced with a different world. There's a big cultural shock, but this time it's the Americans who suffer it.

Nothing beats this, it's so real.

Here are some clips of the movie, but the movie is much better

This is an interview with David Letterman, hilarious!!!!

Sunday, November 05, 2006


Two presidents

Thousands of their own people died because of their selfishness, arrogance and bigoty.

One got a death sentence, and the other got re-elected.

Faysali .... Champions

I don't care if it's the most prestigious competition in Asia or not,
It's called Asia's Cup and Al Faysali played and won and they are what I call the champions, if I'm not mistaken there was a cup they carrried back home in the end, for the second year in a row.

Wednesday, November 01, 2006

A long journey

Last year, I visited Jordan for a month, then returned to the US. As usual, I forgot some of my personal stuff in Amman.

After arrival, I called my family.

My father.... "Listen, our friends are visiting their son in Arizona, we'll give them all what you forgot here in Amman"

"Ok, what did I forget?"

"Your jacket"

"It's OK, it's not too cold here"

"Baseeta, we'll give them the jacket to give it to you"

"Ok shokran"

"Also your kalaseen (underwear)"


"Your kalaseen, you forgot 2 pieces of kalaseen here in Amman, we'll give it to them with the jacket"

"It's not important, balaash, it's not important"

"No we'll send them to you, the jacket and the kalaseen"

Eight days later......

My father's friend and his wife just arrived to Arizona, they called me.

"Marhaba 3ammo, keefak? We brought you the jacket and all your stuff"

"Ok thank you 3ammo, how's the trip?"

"The trip was great, Ariozna is nice, and your parents in Amman say hi, don't forget they sent you the jacket and the stuff with us"

then their son took the phone....

"Man are you XX large?"


"Man how do you wear these kalaseen, they are huge, beddi a3mal menhom baraadi"

He lived about 2 hours away from me, so I waited till his parents left Arizona, drove to his house and grabbed "my stuff". I made a promise to never leave my underwear behind.

Two months later, I realized that I forgot to take my jacket.

Unless I was David Beckham, these underwears would have been of no value and I could have easily got a dozen of them from America, but for some reason my parents thought that I couldn't.

Other than a good shawerma and someone like Sha3ban Abdel Ri7eem, you can easily find anything these days in America.