Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Underestimating What's Underneath the Underwear

Since 9/11, America never hesitated to lose its collective shit after any threat to its security. The bomb that exploded inside the underwear of a Nigerian young man during his international flight last week was a reminder that America does not get it yet it.

Right after the most recent incident, a new regulation popped up that passengers on international flights won't be allowed to use the restroom during the last hour of the flight, because a terrorist would love to enjoy his flight with a bomb stuck to his butt for 12 hours and would only decided to push the button on during the last hour.

The Nigerian dude's father notified authorities that his son was becoming an extremist. The US authorities knew about it, and they still gave him a visa and did not add him to the no-fly list. Mind you: Nelson Mandela was placed on the no-fly list (by mistake), but this guy was not placed on it, by mistake I'd like to believe. Every single year, hundreds of physicians from different countries (especially Pakistan) are denied visas to enter the US even though they were accepted into residency program all over the US. However this Nigerian guy was welcomed in.

A few months ago, hell broke loose in the US when it was announced that Khalid Shaikh Mohammed, the "mastermind" behind 9/11, was going to be trialed on US soil and given the rights any human being deserves: a lawyer and the chance to defend himself. Republicans and some Democrats declared their lack of trust in their judiciary system when they claimed KSM should not be given the rights given to many other terrorists in the past in the US (Omar Abdul Rahman, Mosawi, Timothy McVay...etc)

The US would have been better off without Guantanamo. All these prisoners would have had the rights they deserved, and with the US judiciary system most guilty prisoners would have been found guilty and been thrown in jail or executed. You might get concerned if 2 or 3 slipped through the cracks and were real terrorists who were let go, but you have to understand that a lot of those were actually released from Guantanamo under Bush only to return to join Al Qaeda.
Besides all that, Americans maybe wouldn't have felt too bad that their government is torturing prisoners and dissing its own constitution and some of the things they believe in.

One scary piece of information: you can manufacture a bomb yourself by following simple instructions on the Internet. You can slip through security because metal detectors do not detect a lot of kinds of explosives. I will be flying tomorrow on new year's eve and I know for sure that I cannot get any bottle of shampoo, deodorant, hair gel or razor in my carry-on luggage. I may be able to use the bathroom but that may scare the hell out of everyone on board, and I have to take off my shoes and God know what else at security, but I know one thing for sure: I will not be feeling safer for one reason: terrorist are always one step ahead. The only thing that kept America passengers safe last week was a couple a vigilant passengers staying awake because of that crying baby that exists on each plane. It wasn't the CIA, it wasn't the FBI, and it wasn't even the dude's father who begged authorities to stop his son from doing something stupid. It was a lot of good luck. So good luck to you and wish me luck!

Monday, December 21, 2009

Prince Philip: Jerk

Every family, office, class, association has it loud mouth disaster that can't learn to think for 3 seconds before uttering something stupid or offensive.
The United Kingdom got one of those, his name is Prince Philip.

The latest incident occurred while honoring a blind British soldier injured during a bombing attack. The queen asked the soldier if he had any of his vision left. Prince Philip, next to her, answered, "Not a lot, judging by the tie he's wearing"

Other gaffes:
- While accepting a gift from a Kenyan woman, he asked her, "You are a woman, aren't you?"

- He was visiting a school and a 13-year old boy told him he wanted to become an astronaut. Philip answered him, "Well, you'll never fly in it, you're too fat to be an astronaut."

- Being with a British student, the student told Philip that he had just returned from Papua New Guinea, to which Philip responded, "You managed not to get eaten then?"

Very funny, but a jerk. We love those.

Monday, December 14, 2009

Photo of the Moment: This is Not an Airline Incident

Just a clarification: I'm not the Black Iris. I'm just stealing his titles.

Story of the picture: In the country/territory of Gibraltar (Jabal Tarek), the airport's only runway intersects with the main street in the country, so every time a plane is taking off or landing traffic on the street has to be stopped.

This photo says it all.

If this was Jordan the cars won't stop but may try to drive around the plane instead.

Thursday, December 10, 2009

Facebook Gone Wrong...

Horrible/funny real statuses and replies from real people on facebook.
People, watch out!
(You have to click on the box to read it more clearly)

Monday, December 07, 2009

My 20-second encounter with Sarah Palin

I love Sarah Palin. After all, she is the reason Barack Obama was elected for president. She visited South Dakota, where I currently live, to get connected to her supporters, sign her new book and make an extra buck.
I decided to go for the book-signing because there wasn't anything more fun to do in Sioux Falls for a single guy on a Sunday night (or morning, afternoon...etc) -I have to mention that I had already gone to church that day-.

I also have to mention that I'm a whore for meeting celebrities. My only trip for the gym in Tucson was when Hillary Clinton went there for a speech during her campaign for the democratic seat, even though I was hoping she'd fail. I stood speechless when I saw Jack Nicholson right in front of me in a building in Philadelphia. Even when I pulled out my camera to take a perfect picture of him I could only manage to shoot a photo of some random ass. I also hope his new movie will fail. So it didn't come as a surprise when I found myself going to see Palin today.

I stood in a perfectly organized line of happy people. I don't know how will people meeting St Peter at the Pearly Gates will look like but they won't be as happy as the people I saw today. Standing in line started to become boring, I looked at the (happy) lady in front of me in line,
"So the only book Sarah can sign is her book, right?"
"Yes, don't give her another book to sign" she laughed
" I thought about giving her Obama's book to sign.. ha... haha"
She looked back at me as if I just called her a filthy whore.

I proceeded to see Palin. I started getting a little anxious, "what if she got me deported?" was the only thought in my head. They passed her the book, she signed it and gave it to me,
"What your name?"
"Fares, thank you for coming"
Thinking how everything she had done so far was helping Democrats win elections I told her, "thank you for the great work, keep it going"
"thank you very much", she said, and before I added anything else the security guy next to her looked at me and in his eyes I saw him saying, "move the f--k up or I'm gonna cut you into 400 pieces"

I moved up and bought the book for 18 dollars. Knowing that Donald Trump charges you one million dollars to spend one hour with him, I thought 18 dollars to spend 20 seconds with Sarah Palin was a good bargain. Besides the brief chat I got hold of something that will get a few bids on ebay in 2012 "An unopened, unread personally signed book by presidential candidate Sarah Palin".

Tuesday, December 01, 2009

Seriously, Switzerland, Seriously, WTF??

Can anyone, even the most islamophobe on earth, explain to me how does a minaret threaten his security?

57% of the Swiss population proved yesterday to be very bigoted, hateful, racist and discriminatory, let alone stupid and dumb.

Even if they believed there were Islamic groups inside Switzerland planning on a terrorist attack, how will prohibiting minaret construction affect their plan? Would they go, "Oh we cannot have more minarets, our plans are screwed?"

The only message that 57% of Switzerland was saying was a fuck you to Muslims, nothing but fuck you. And when you send this message to part of your society many of them citizens of your own country, you cannot come later and blame them for failure of integration into this racist society and ask them to respect the values that are clearly exclusive to people from certain ethnicities and religions.

The people behind this vote were the same people who came up with this cartoon:

It translates into, "for more security" !!!

Got my point?