Sunday, April 29, 2007

Tears in heaven











Would you know my name
if I saw you in heaven.....
Would it be the same
if I saw you in heaven
Beyond the door.....
there's peace I'm sure
and I know there'll be no more... tears in heaven

Friday, April 27, 2007

واحد بدو يبيع كليته



في مواطن فلسطيني من كثر الفقر نزل إعلان بدو يبيع كليته

يلعن أبو هالزمن

بعتله إيميل كالتالي

حضرة السيد أحمد

لقد تأثرت فعلاً عندما رأيت إعلانك المتعلق ببيع كليتك وبريدي الالكتروني هذا لا أعتقد أنه سيقدم أو سيأخر وأتمنى ألا يكون مضيعة لوقتك ، أنا مواطن أردني أعيش في الولايات المتحدة لدي مدونة الكترونية بسيطة يزورها بعض القراء وسأعرض قضيتك هناك و سأضع بريدك الالكتروني هناك وأسأل عن أي وسيلة ممكن من خلالها مساعدتك
لا أريد أن أعطيك آمالاً كاذبة لكنني سأفعل ما بوسعي لمساعدتك قدر الامكان وأرجو ألا يكون بعد المسافة عائقاً أمام مساعدتك

وان شاء الله الله بفرجها عليكو
-------------------------------------

عأي حال عندي الإيميل و اذا في أي شخص بقدر يساعده مادياً او بعرف مؤوسسة ممكن تساعده خليه يحكي قبل ما يبيع كليته

عنجد شغلة بتحزن
إذا في شخص بعرف أي مؤسسة ممكن يتصل فيها ابعتولو ايميل احكلو شو يسوي او احكولي انا
شكرا

Monday, April 23, 2007

Does your brain make you brainless?




I was a reading about a recent study comparing the brain formation and functioning of people from different political parties (Democrates and Republicans) and the amazing results showed that the structure and functioning of their brains are different.

Sounds just an interesting piece which you can read on Al-Rai's last page or in a column in Majalet Sayyedati

For me , it just brought me back the same old thought that we might not have a soul.

Have you ever thought, that we are not really human beings? If you haven't had this thought before, try to think of it.... maybe we were created from flesh and bone and all our thoughts are results of how our brain stuructures were created.

If you're hard-working it's not because you're responsible, it's just because your brain structure and chemicals made you a hard-working person.

If you love being a doctor it's not because you were inspired by an episode ER it's because the chemicals in your brain made you make that decision.

If you like to drive fast and wanna be a playboy it's your brain structure and chemicals. The way you talk to others, your thoughts and beliefs and behavior is nothing related to your choice but it's all merely an interaction between your brain structure and the environemnt around it. It's all chemistry and physics interacting but in the shape of a human being.

That's why a democrate is a democrate, it's his brain. That's why a republican is a republican , it's the way his brain was made up.

Even your response to what I'm saying now is not your option it's just the way your brain is designed to be. You have no say in it.

I hate thinking of a human being to be so helpless and powerless, but it might be true.

or maybe not?

do we really have a soul ??

Sunday, April 22, 2007

Immortal

He was shot in his neck in 1977 and since then has been paralyzed, unable to move a hand or a leg, nothign below his neck.

The hospital became his second home, he had a very supportive wife and family who never left him since that happened. Eventually he needed to have a hole made in his throat thought which he would breathe.

He was admitted to the hospital when I was on-call with a pneumonia (lung infection). His breathing was hard so we placed him on a ventilator (breathing machine) until the effect of the antibiotics would kick in.

Later that day the nurse called me saying ,"he's trying to pull out his (breathig) tube"

I went down to talk to the guy. He was completely alert and with it. He pointed to his breathing machine, tried to utter words which I could understand, "pull it out"

I brought him a pencil and a paper, and he wrote, "pull it out, I've had enough"

Pulling the tube out meant he would be off the breathing machine.

I told him, "you'll only need this tube today, tomorrow you'll probably get better and we'll take you off the machine and you can go back home with your wife"

He responded in writing, "pull it now"

"But you will die now if I pull it"

"That's OK"

In case you're wondering if it's legal or not, what is ILLEGAL is not following the patient's wishes as long as he is able to state what they are. He clearly was alert and had the capacity to make his own decision, "Pull it out now, I don't care if I die, I've had enough"!

I wanted to scream in his face "Are you shitting me?"

I tried to buy some time, "I'll call your wife and tell her to come now, is that OK?"

He nodded.
His wife and son arrived, and the nurse called again, "the wife is here, he still wants the tube out"

I went down to the ICU thinking of my bad luck. This man has been paralyzed for thirty years, has suffered like nobody did before and was OK with it, why on earth does he want to die now? IS it me? Was it that when he saw me he thought "I'd better die now!" I felt an inappropriate anger towards the dying man who was fearing life more than death.

I repeated this conversation in the presence of his wife and son. He repeated his request to stop the breathing machine. They begged him not to. They said they'd do anything to help him out. I told them that he'd probably die if we did and his chances of survival would be very low.

He was stubborn. He wanted it all off. We took everything off and I disconnected him from the machine. His son and wife stood by his side crying as I, cussing my damn luck, was watching his oxygen levels dropping. His oxygen level then stablized and did not drop further.

I was wondering if he can make throughout the day. The only hope was that the dosage of antibiotics he got would be good enough to treat his pneumonia and keep him alive. I conveyed that to his wife. The patient wanted to go home, so I arranged for that. I told the family again to expect the worst, but I had some hope since his breathing did not look too bad.

I asked the hospice services, who specialize in takig care of dying patients, to arrange for daily visits to his house to help his wife. I kept reading their note, and it looks like the man had a positive turn. It's been four months now and he is still alive off any breathing machine and without any hospitlization since that one!

It looks like death is not as selective as we think it is. It visits those who fight to avoid and avoids those who seek it. Those who fear death die a million times before they truly die, and those who don't fear death die only once.

Friday, April 20, 2007

In football, this is called perfect

Lionel Messi, 19 years old Argentenian, scored a Maradona-style goal yesterday in the Spanish Cup.

Below is his goal and then Maradona's goal in 1986 against England, chosen as the best goal ever in a world cup.


Regardless of which you think is better, the truth is that it takes an Argentenian to score a goal like that.

Gracias Dios... por Maradona, y por Messi!





Thursday, April 19, 2007

Between a shooting and an explosion

For those outside the US, there was a shooting in college campus and 33 students and professors were killed.


For those inside the US, there were 190 Iraqis killed in an explosion in Baghdad, a few days after McCain and other senators visited Baghdad and said it was as safe as Indiana!

It turned out Baghdad was more dangerous than Virginia Tech's campus on an April 16 th's morning.


It looks like the people who appreciate life the most are those who lose it first.


There's a lot of crazy people in the streets. Some people complain why wasn't that Korean psycho held in a psychiatric hospital or treated in time to prevent him from doing his crime.


The sad part is that there are thousands and thousands of people like him out there walking in the streets. I have seen more crazy people in the one day in the streets and buses of Chicago than I have seen in one month at the psychiatric hospital in Mahes.


There was a shooting here in my university 4 years ago and four people were killed. The shooter was a failing nursing student. I'm just wondering if that student have passed he could have very much be next to me now in this hospital and we would be working together.


Crazy people.... they walk the streets, they live next to you, they work with you, they eat with you, they talk to you, and sometimes they run for office and ask for your vote.... and you vote for them and it takes a disaster for you to make a diagnosis.

Wednesday, April 18, 2007

رد الإعتبار





أتذكر أنه قبل عدة سنوات طلب نادي الوحدات الذي كان آنذاك بطل الدوري وفي قمة مستواه ملاقاة نادي الزمالك بطل مصر في مباراة ودية، فقام نادي الزمالك بطلب عشرة آلاف دولار فقط للعب المباراة بالاضافة لرسوم السفر والاقامة


شعرت آنذاك ببعض الإهانة لأن بطل الأردن عومل بتلك الطريقة ومع كل احترامي للكرة المصرية إلا أنني لم أعتبر أن طلب الزمالك كان منطقياً


ورغم أن عدة سنوات مرت إلا أنني ما زلت أتذكر تلك الشروط المزعجة أثناء قرائتي للصحيفة


اليوم لعب الفيصلي مع الزمالك دون نقود لأن البطولة هي كأس الأندية العربية التي قاتل الزمالك للفوز بها


تعادل الفريقان في عمان ولعبا اليوم في القاهرة امام عشرات الآف وفاز الفيصلي وتأهل إلى النهائي و شعرت ببعض الشيء من رد الأعتبار




وان شالله كلها أكمن سنة ونشوف مين اللي بدو يصير يطلب العشر آلاف!

Sunday, April 15, 2007

أردني فلسطيني و فشة غل


يبدو أن الناس بشكل عام تتفادى الخوض في موضوع أردني فلسطيني رغم أنها تتعرض لمواقف محزنة و مغيظة تجعلها تشعر بالقرف والتفرقة و تزيد من نار العنصرية التي بصراحة أراها تتحسن

أحياناُ أحب أن أتوهم أن العنصرية في تلاشي وأنه مع مرور جيل أو جيلين سوف تختفي، لكن من الواضح أن هناك الكثير من الحقد الدفين والكراهية التي تصل إلى حد التعصب الاعمى وأتذكر أني لما خضت بموضوع أيلول الاسود سمعت الكثيرين ، غالبا عن رغبة في تفادي فتح صفحات تاريخنا الاسود، سمعتهم يطلبون مني السكوت ونسيان الماضي وكأن ما حصل لا صلة له بنا

يجب أن نكون واقعيين و منطقببن بعض الشيء عند مناقشة الامور. فمجرد كونك أردنيا من أصل أردني لا يعطيك أي أفضلية على أي أردني من أصل فلسطيني. أنتو الجوز عايشين بالاردن وعليكم حقوق وواجبات مثل بعض

.الفلسطيني كثيرا ما يعامل كمواطن من الدرجة العاشرة واللي مش مصدق ينزله عمخفر شرطة أو دائرة جوازات وراح يكتشف أن اسم العائلة كثيراُ ما يكون اهم من الشكوى المقدمة او المخالفة المرتكبة

لو تم إجراء دراسة موضوعية لاكتشفنا ان الفلسطيني عرضة اكثر لاكل الكفوف في المخافر والشلاليط في الزنازن ومخالفات السير التي بلا طعم ، ولا أعتقد أن أي أردني من أصل فلسطيني لم يتعرض للموقف المعتاد الذي يتم فيه إشعاره بأنه ضيف ثقيل الدم غير مرغوب وكأنه هو السبب فيما يواجهه الاردن من مشاكل، يعني باختصار حتى الفلسطيني المولود في الأردن والذي يعتبر نفسه ابن البلد ولا يعرف وطنا كما يعرف الاردن بيجي واحد بسأله من وين الأخ ويس يقله يافا و لا نابلس بصير يتطلع عليه وكأنه من كوكب آخر وليس كأنه مواطن مثله مثلك ونحنا كلا معروفين أنه راسمالها موقف واحد سمج مثل هيك يكفي لايقاد مشاعر العنصرية والتفرقة التي مرت و أخالها ستمر عبر عدة أجيال لاحقة

الأردن مرت عليه حضارات قديمة جداً لكنه لم يتأسس بالشكل الذي هو عليه الآن إلا عام ستة وأربعين أو قبل ذلك بقليل. نعم الأردنيون أصلهم عشائري والعشائر يعود تاريخها لمئات بل آلاف السنين لكن الأردن اليوم هو وطن وليس مجرد تجمع للعشائر ومنذ بداية تاريخ هذا الوطن بدأ الفلسطنيون يهاجرون إليه رغما عنهم بعد حلول المصيبة تلو الاخرى وهكذا أصبح الاردن مزيج بين شعبين أصلهم واحد فرقت بينهم حدود رسمت على ورق

وللأسف نرى بعض المواطنين الكثير منهم شباب موبؤون بالعنصرية فنرى بعض الأردنيين يخونون الفلسطيني إذا ما اشتكى من الحكومة أو البطالة أو رفع الاسعار والاقساط وكأننا واجبنا الوطني هو دعم الحكومة بغض النظر عما تفعله، وإذا ما اشتكى الفلسطيني من أي شيء في البلد فقد أصبح هو عنصرياُ حاقداً غيوراً ... وبعد كل ذلك نتوقع من الفلسطيني أن يشعر بأقصى درجات الوطنية... وهاذي شوي صعبة خاصة بعد أن هُتف لشارون في عَمان كما لم يهتف له في تل أبيب و شُتم محمد الدرة بعد جنازته بأيام وحتى العائلة المالكة التي لا يسترجي أحد بالتخنفس عنها أعطى بعض الأردنيين الحق لأنفسهم بالتعرض لجلالة الملكة فقط بسبب أصلها رغم أن تمثل الأردن بصورة متميزة في العالم

و ما يدعو للأسف أيضا رؤية البعض من الأردنيين من أصل فلسطيني ممن لجؤوا إلى الأردن او ولدوا فيه يرفضون اي صلة تربطهم بالاردن وكانهم يشعرون بالإهانة إذا ما نوديوا بالاردنيين وإذا ما خرجوا خارج الوطن ينتهزون أية فرصة للطعن في الأردن كدولة وشعب وكيان لكنهم في الوقت ذاته يطالبون بأن يُعاملوا كأردنيين داخل الأردن. ولا يبخل البعض في اتهام الأردن كلها ببيع القضية وإعطاء فلسطين هدية لليهود ناسين الدم الأردني والمسيرات والاعتقالات واساور الذهب التي يجب ان يفتخر بها أي أردني بأنها ذهبت فداء لفلسطين، أو أنه يصعب لأي فلسطيني أن يجد وطنا عربيا يعامله كمواطن كالاردن او يشعر فيه بأنه ابن البلد كالأردن

عيش و خلي الناس تعيش والأردني الصحيح ليس من يبح صوته في الصراخ الأردن أولاً أو يتباهى بابتلاع أكبر لقمة منسف في التاريخ بل من ضحى من أجل الأردن وعلم أولاده أن الأردن أهم من اسم العشيرة أو رصيد البنك وأن الفرق بين الأردن وفلسطين لا يزيد عن نجمة سباعية على العلم ظلمناها كثيرا واتهمناها بتهم مزيفة لا أساس لها من الصحة
حريقة

Wednesday, April 11, 2007

A Series of Extremely Unfortunate Events

7.00 AM, the new nurse comes to her shift, sees her new patient, he was sleeping, doesn't wake him up.

9.00 AM, a doctor (not me thank God) sees the patient, he was sleeping, doesn't wake him up either.

9.30 AM, same doctor comes back, tries to wake him up, the patient doesn't wake up. His pulses are checked.... no pulses! CPR is started but the patient doesn't wake up. He's pronounced dead.

He was on a heart monitor. The monitor is checked. His heart had stopped at 6 AM. The person sitting at the monitor thought that it was an electrical problem.

The patient has been dead for three and half hours and everyone thought he was sleeping.

I'm disgusted by most medical lawsuits in the US, but this one I cannot complain about.

MoNancy-Lisa


Nancy Ajram....... in her most conservative dress

Tuesday, April 10, 2007

Assassinations !!!

I'm in my evil mode today, so here are some historical clips of famous assasinations as pictured LIVE on TV



The famous assasination of Anwar al-Sadat in 1981
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The assasination of JFK in 1963



And this is the assassination of his assassin!!!

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When Ronald Reagan was shot in 1981
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This is the assasination of the Japanese prime miniter (don't know his name, I'll call him Suzuki)

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This is an assassination attempt of the Pope in 1970
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بغداد






كانتْ أجملَ المَلِكَاتِ في تاريخ بابِِلْ
كانت أطولَ النَخْلاتِ في أرض العراقْ
لا يعرفُ الإنسانُ كيفَ يعيشُ في هذا الوَطَنْ ..
لا يعرفُ الإنسانُ كيفَ يموتُ في هذا الوَطَنْ ..
بغداد.. تقتُلُ كلَّ يومٍ واحداً مِنَّا ..
وتبحثُ كلَّ يومٍ عن ضحيَّةْ
والموتُ .. في فِنْجَانِ قَهْوَتِنَا ..
وفي مفتاح شِقَّتِنَا ..
وفي أزهارِ شُرْفَتِنَا ..
وفي وَرَقِ الجرائدِ ..
والحروفِ الأبجديَّةْ ...
ها نحنُ .. ..
ندخُلُ مرةً أُخرى لعصرِ الجاهليَّةْ ..
ها نحنُ ندخُلُ في التَوَحُّشِ ..
والتخلّفِ .. والبشاعةِ .. والوَضَاعةِ ..
ندخُلُ مرةً أُخرى .. عُصُورَ البربريَّةْ ..
حيثُ الكتابةُ رِحْلَةٌ
بينِ الشَّظيّةِ .. والشَّظيَّةْ
----------------------------


نزار قباني.....في رثاء بلقيس

Sunday, April 08, 2007

No Jews Allowed

"I don't want a Jewish doctor to see me"

The request from my sick patient was a bit shocking. I've met him half an hour ago. He had told me that he had a few Arab friends and that he respected the Arabic culture. After seeing him I told him we had to call a cardiologist (heart) and GI (stomach) doctor to evaluate him, then he made this shokcing request, "Please I prefer that no Jewish doctors would see me"

In medicine, the patient-doctor relationship is sacred and doctors should do their best to preserve it, therefore any request the patient makes should be done as long as it does not contradict with the work ethic.

His request clearly did.

Maybe he assumed that being an Arab I would be receptive to his request. I hate Israel, I think it is an abusive country that killed and is still killing innocent civilians let alone stealing their land, but I can never hate a person solely for his religion or belief.

If I refuse to be discriminated against I should not accept it to others and prevent it if possible. Racism is racism is racism.

I had to immediately respond to his request. This is something they don't teach you in medical school. Yes they teach you that there should be no discrimination at work and you should not whistle to a nurse if you think she's hot but you're sometimes placed in situation you never thought you'd be placed in (I just remembered the schizophrenic in Fuhais who wanted to marry my sister)

I said, "they're all the same, religion doesn't matter"
"Yeah but I prefer non-Jewish docs"

I left the room and grabbed his chart. I had to call two doctors, one for his heart and the other for his stomach. Since that was a private hospital I had a very long list of doctors to pick from to come and see him.
Subconsciously, I found myself calling Dr. Goldberg for his heart and Dr. Cohen for his stomach. Next day was my last day at that hospital and another resident, Dr. Shuman, took over my service.

I didn't stay long to know what happened to that guy, but I'm sure it was lots of fun!

Saturday, April 07, 2007

Thursday, April 05, 2007

Killing me softly





My new patient arrived with two security officers. It was not the first time I had a sick person coming from prison. Usually there's only one guard with the guy but this time there were two of them. They never left the room.

He was truly sick but did better overnight. The next day I realized that this guy was in prison for killing his wife, stabbing her to death in front of her children more than years ago. He was sentenced to death and he is on the death row, awaiting execution. I've googled his name and .... oh god this guy is for real, he is a real criminal, and three books have been written about his crime. One of my interns watched a documentary about him less than six months ago.

I have to admit that I was shitting on myself everytime I went into his room. We provided him with all the medical therapy he needed and he eventually got better. IT was so ironic that we were doing our best, getting all the specialists involved and doing all the required studies, with a total cost over 300 thousand dollars, and much more in the near future, to save the life of a man and keep him in good health so he can be executed when he becomes in good shape!

Wednesday, April 04, 2007

الغول الحشاش



المعلق: خالد الغول

احسن معلق في تاريخ التلفزيون الاردني

صارلو ابو ١٢ سنة بشتغل بتلفزيون ا.رت.

شكلو اتحمس شوي هون!!

Sunday, April 01, 2007

في يوم الارض


...."من الارض خرجنا و اليها نعود.... ان حافظت على الارض حافظت على حياتك...