Waka Waka... This Time for Africa

Shakira...... plus

Football....plus

Messi......plus

Maradona....plus

Dancing, Music, Drums

= Perfect

South Africa ... We're Hosting It, So We Get to Qualify

The host team always makes it past the first round, and this world cup will not be an exception. South Africa will make it to the second round, not necessarily because they deserve it, but because they are the host nation. They're not a bad team, and this team actually could be the best they ever had. This week they defeated Colombia 2-1 and Denmark 1-0.

Their group is the strongest, in my opinion. Besides them, they have a maturing Mexican team, a talented Uruguayan team, and France who still got some players who can kick the ball. Ideally they would have no chance of getting a single point, but this time they will get through.

Their coach: Carlos Alberto Parreira. He won the World Cup for Brasil in 1994.

Clip For Memory

Despite qualifying to the World Cup 3 times, S.Africa won only one game against Slovenia 1-0 with a goal from Nomvete. Here it is. Warning: ordinary goal.

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In the picture above: Mark Fish, one of the best players to ever play for South Africa. The whitest, too!

Germany.... Wake Me Up When the World Cup Comes

Germany is a team that doesn't bother to play football unless it matters. It's the exact opposite of other teams like Spain and the Netherlands that have great talents but very few championships.

Germany stays dormant, gets its ass handed to it in friendlies, qualifications and even occasional matches in the World Cup, but some way, somehow, manages to go very far in World Cups.

Even their first World Cup final win against Hungary in 1954 was a huge shocker, as they have lost 3-8 in the first round. They produced great talents in the 1970s, cheated their way into the final in 1982, but in 1990 they had a magical team and won the final games with a gift from the Mexican referee.

Since 1990, they haven't produced a single world-class player. Even Miroslav Klose, the World Cup top goals scorer in 2006, was almost never placed among the best strikers in the world. Almost their entire current squad plays in Germany. German goalkeepers had the reputation of being the best in the world, but the most experienced in this selection played only five international matches.

It's well-known that you can never underestimate the Germans: they can punish you really hard. Even with this team, Germany can still make it to the semi-finals, and with players like Lahm, Mario Gomez and Muller they can even win the Cup. I hope not.

Clip For Memory

Since we are tired of seeing goals, let's remember this famous encounter between Voller and Rijkaard in 1990. Voller had a little argument with Rijkaard and got a red card, and on his way out Rijkaard spat on him, for which Rijkaard was sent off immediately. Later on the players agreed to appear together in a Lurpak commercial. Then they became head coaches of their national teams.

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In the Picture Above: Thomas Muller, the striker, for every Germany selection must have a player named Muller.

The 1967 Syndrome

I am interrupting my mind-blowing preview of the World Cup to remember 1967. Funny how just by mentioning 1967, a year that witnessed many world events, the only thing that comes to any Arab's mind is news of the terrible loss in the six-day war. That sense of defeat keeps running down our spines every time. Many children born that year were named Nakseh and Nakbeh and Hazeemeh and Hazayem and whatever depressing name you can think of.

The fact is, we're still living this defeat to this very day. Every day feels like 1967. Sometimes we hear criticism of Arabs and Palestinians for watching too much sports, songs, trying to have a little fun, talking about things not related to war. The fact is, all what we're doing is trying to see how does it feel to live in 2010. Our reality as a nation has become 1967 while what's happening in the world is our escape from that reality.

Every event in Jordan, every speech in Jordan, every decision in Jordan, every political discussion in Jordan whether it takes a place in the Parliament, a political salon, a cafe or a taxi cab has to do with 1967.

Palestinians have not gained anything since 1967, but lost their national unity. Without a solid Arab support for the Palestinians' rights there is no way to see their life getting better or having any land come back to them. In this time when we see other countries like Turkey, Iran, Brasil, Venezuela, Belgium, Indonesia and who know who caring about Palestinians way more than Arabs are, there's very little hope we will ever live after 1967. We are engulfed with it and this 1967-syndrome is now 43 years old. Chronic, aggressive and more difficult to treat.

New Zealand: The Testicles of the World

These islands that look like a couple of nuts situated at the base of the earth (depending on which map you're looking at) barely have any football history to brag about. For so long it has been so easy for them to make it to the World Cup and all what they had to do is overcome Australia plus the the 5th best South American or 4th Caribbean or 5th Asian or whatever mediocre team they were about to face to make it to the World Cup.

They only made in 1982 and lost their 3 games. This time they qualified just because they defeated New Caledonia, Fiji, Vanutau and Bahrain, making them the least deserved team to qualify to the World Cup.

Two of their current players (Elliott, Mulligan) were kicked out of their clubs and are currently unattached. In other words, they are too bad to play with any club but they were good enough to play with New Zealand National team that will be playing in the World Cup along Italy, Paraguay and Slovakia.

But watch out, those team that have nothing to lose can surprise you, mostly because they have nothing to lose. Otherwise New Zealanders will have to keep watching rugby.

Clip For Memory

Zico scoring a spectacular goal against New Zealand in the 1982 World Cup. Brasil won 4-0.

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The Picture above: I really couldn't think of anything related to New Zealand other than their great beef.

Slovakia.... the Black Sheep

Czechoslovakia was a powerful team, making it to the final match of the World Cup twice. In 1993 it split into the Czech Republic and Slovakia. The best players were the Czech, and in fact they continued to produce a very solid team with world-class players.

In 2010 the Czech came in the same group with Slovakia, and the Slovaks decided to start changing history. They dominated their group and topped it off, with their neighbors coming in third and getting relegated. Slovenia came in second.

Among the Slovaks, the only player who I always watch is Marek Hamsik. He's only 22 but for the past 3 years has managed to bring Napoli back to the top tier level in Serie A along with very few other players. He scores on average once every 3 games with the team even though he's a central midfielder.

Clip For Memory

the final match of the World Cup in Chile 1962 between Brasil and Czechoslovakia , Brasil won 3-1

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The Picture above: One of Marek Hamsek's many tattoos , carefully situated under his left boob.

Greece.... An Incidental Finding

Also known as the least deserved team to win a championship since they won the Euro 2004, Greece is hoping for a lot of luck and prayers just to make it to the second round. Given that they barely qualified in a group that had Switzerland, Latvia, Moldova, Israel and Luxembourg, don't expect them to come in second in a group that has Korea, Nigeria and Argentina.

The man who can lead them ahead is Otto Rehhgal, the same coach who won them the Euro 2004. It looks like the Greek wanna keep this coach even if he gets Alzheimer's disease. Other players they need to count on are Gekas, an occasionally formidable striker.

But the one person who has to excel in South Africa for Greece to have a chance is always the goalkeeper, Kostas Chalkias. One thing for sure: he will be seriously tested.

Clip For Memory

In the Playoffs for the 2010 qualification, Greece faced Ukraine. They drew 0-0 in Greece but Salpiggidis scored this winner for Greece in the Donetsk game, they won 1-0. the clip also gives you a chance to listen to Zorba.

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The Picture Above: A clip from the movie "My Big Fat Greek Wedding"

Switzerland: I didn't know they qualified

Switzerland is one of those countries that can be easily forgotten even when they play well. Their results in the 2006 were pretty decent, where they didn't concede any goal but everybody forgot them. They qualified to this World Cup because they came in the easiest group in the qualification. They had to only overpass Greece, Latvia and Israel. They even lost at home to Luxembourg.

Again, they come in one of the easiest group in the Cup. There is Spain who is the strongest in the group, but there's also Honduras and Chile, who are defeatable. It still remains a big challenge to this Swiss team to get to the second round, but we'll be watching Yakin and Frie led by coach Ottmar Hitzfeld.

Clip to Remember

In the quarter-finals of the 1954 World Cup that they hosted, the lost to Austria 7-5, which is the most number of goals scored in one game in any world cup. First half: Austria 5-4!

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In the picture above: Xenia Tchoumitcheva, who came second in Miss Switzerland 2008.

Serbia.... Europe's Bitch

Serbia was a complete disaster in the last cup. Not only did they lose their 3 games, but they lost to Argentina 0-6. Even when they were prevented from playing in Euro 1992, that gave a chance for a very beautiful Danish surprise to emerge. It seems like nobody wants to see Serbia play anywhere anymore.

They have added some youngsters to their team, and they kept very few experienced ones like Stankovic, who can be a real monster in the midfield and can turn around any game. Two other players to count on: Vidic in defence and Mrda in the front.

That Mrda guy has very little international experience, but he doesn't have a problem scoring a shit load of goals in any game. He hasn't played against big teams yet, and I don't know if their coach whose name I don't know will even let him play, but if he does he can score a few goals.

Serbia has definitely failed to carry on the respectable legacy of a very good Yugoslavia football team, but they can change that. Not this cup though. They'll be playing Germany, Ghana and Australia.

Clip For Memory

The most memorable World Cup moment for them was their loss to Argentina 6-0. This is the second goal for Argentina, coming after 22 excellent passes. Two years earlier, Serbia also lost to Argentina 6-0 in the Olympic Games.

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In the picture above: Bojan Krkic, who realized it might be better for his career to represent Spain rather than his native country Serbia.

Nigeria.... Africa's Heart

In my opinion, Nigeria produced the best African team to ever compete in a world cup, and that was the 1994 Yekini-Okocha-you name it team. They were very close to routing Italy out and perhaps make it to the final if it wasn't for the brilliance of Roberto Baggio.

Nigeria's competitiveness took a little hit in the past decade. Except for the brilliant Tawio of Marseille and Mikel Obi who plays for Chelsea, their current players do not play for any major European club. This comes mostly as other African nations have produced their own Yekinis and Amunekes in the past decade, playing for elite European teams.

This Nigeria is different from the 1994 Nigeria. They have changed their coaches nine times in the past 9 years, and they miraculously qualified to this world cup instead of Tunisia. However, they can always start a new era of magic, and we will be watching.

By the way:

1994 group D: Argentina, Nigeria, Greece, Bulgaria

2010 group B: Argentina, Nigeria, Greece, S.Korea

Conclusion: Korea will make it to the semi-finals.

Clip For Memory

In 1998, Nigeria was trailing 2-1 down to Spain. Lawal equalized then Sunday Olisseh scored this marvelous shot, shot recorded at a speed of 120 kph. Nigeria won 3-2.



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In the picture above: Rashidi Yekini literally tearing apart the Bulgarian net after he literally tore it apart in Nigeria's 3-0 victory in 1994.

Australia: Down UnderEstimated

Along with China, India, Russia and the US, Australia has been another proof that very large countries can easily suck at football. However the Australians made a good decision 60 years too late by leaving the pseudo-continent they're located in and joining the Asian Football Federation.

That made qualification to the WC much easier. They made it to the second round in 2006.

They seem to get better with the years, and we might start seeing them in every world cup. Their chances are not great this time, but I want you to very closely watch their first game against Germany. OK? Against Germany, June 13th, 6.30 pm GMT.

You're welcome.

Clip for Memory:

Australia's 31-0 victory over American Samoa in the 2002 World Cup qualification

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In the Picture above: I don't know any Australian football player and I don't think you do. So I have the privilege of downloading the picture of Ms. Naomi Watts, an aspiring Australian actress.

Uruguay: Glorious Bastards

If you're from Uruguay, you're guaranteed to shed a few tears at the end of each World Cup for how poor has Uruguay's performance become in the more recent World Cups.

Uruguay was the first country to host and win the World Cup. It won again in 1950. The reason I respect this country is that they caused the biggest humiliation in the history of football, in the history of the country of Brasil, when they completely destroyed them in the final game of the 1950 World Cup.

Uruguay won that game, and took the cup away from the Brazilians , resulting in a national tragedy in Brasil and a whole lot of respect among Brazilian-haters like myself.

To know how powerful Uruguay was, they have not conceded their first defeat ever in the World Cup until 1954. Since they made it to the semi-final in 1970 they have been struggling to just make it to the finals. They struggled this time, and they won't go too far in this cup, although Forlan can score from just anywhere in the field.

Clip For Memory:

Naturally, their destruction of Brasil in Rio in front of 200,000 people in 1950. Barboasa , the Brasilian goalie said in 2000, "In Brasil the maximum sentence is 30 years, but I have suffered for 50".

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(In the picture above, Diego Forlan the Uruguayan striker. I think he has some great resemblance to the the tennis player Martina Navratiolva)

Hareega: For Every Football Horny

As my fan base of 10 people have noticed, I haven't been blogging lately. I got busy at work. However with the world cup coming, and with me living in South Dakota where the only sport is shooting bears and milking cows, I need to talk football.

With the World Cup coming in just ten days (I can't believe it!), I will be talking football here, real football with football-horny people who appreciate football.

I'll randomly discuss different teams from different groups before the kick-off on June 11th. Feel free to give me your comments and completely offend players, countries, ethnicities and cultural backgrounds. We need your valuable input based on mere fanaticism in order to make this world a better place.

(In the picture above: Christiano Ronaldo)

Argentina, the Dream is Approaching

Diego Armando Maradona, the genius of geniuses, has arrived with his jewels to South Africa. By jewels I'm not referring to his personal collection of cocaine but the talented bunch of players he selected to play for the most awesome team in the history of mankind, the one and only Argentina, in the World Cup that will kick in in 12 days.

Here is a clip of why Argentina is the team, why Argentina is the passion, why Argentina is the real taste of football....

My Lethal Injections

It was another travel clinic day when the young traveler to Chad and Niger walked in the clinic with his father to get his vaccines before his trip. I took a brief history and decided on the vaccines he'll need.
One of the vaccines was a yellow fever vaccine. Yellow fever is a nasty infection, and getting the vaccine is a good way to prevent it. Those who receive it have a 1 in 100,000 risk of getting a severe reaction that can be life-threatening.

I told the kid about it, he and his father agreed to the vaccine. I looked at all the shots that we were going to give him , "Typhoid, hepatitis A, yellow fever.... we are going to torture you tonight"... he3 he3 he3

The father laughed and the kid nervously smiled. I handled the chart to my assistant to prepare the vaccines and went to review another chart.

Less than five minutes later, I saw her rushing out of the clinic, "I need you right now"

I saw the kid laying on the bed, his body leaning against the wall, not moving. His father almost passed out, and my heart almost stopped beating too.

During residency I did calls where hearts stop and lungs fill with fluid and old people fall on their heads and blood pours out from every hole in the body, but that was expected. Drama is the rule in every night call at a hospital. I even used to get surprised if every thing went alright.

But this was different. Thursdays are our travel clinic days. These are light days with healthy people walking in to get protection against illnesses they might get during their travel, and now I have this: a young healthy kid passing out in front of his father.

In a few minutes he became fully awake and talking. This was just another vaso-vagal syncope, where people pass put because of extreme anxiety. Some people pass out after they see blood, get needles, see dead people, whatever scares the shit out of them. So in this case it wasn't the vaccine, it was the needle. If we had injected him with water he would've also passed out.

But at the moment the teenage kid passed out, the only thing that occurred to me was him getting an anaphylactic life-threatening reaction to the vaccine. It always sucks when you get the one in one hundred thousandth complication (although on the good side, you'd feel more comfortable administering the next 99,999 vaccines)

What would have sucked more is my super confidence, even telling the kid "we are going to torture you" before we literally tortured him. That would have made it to the papers. "Dr. Death: Middle Eastern immigrant tells a minor he'll torture him before he tortures him with needles in front of his father", or "Dr. Kevorkian condemns Dr. Masannat"

Doctors are sometimes overconfident, especially if they're about to do something they've done several times before. I have given this vaccine and many others hundreds of times, never saw a single reaction. If your doctor tells you you might die from a vaccine there's a very good chance you will not take it even if it's good for you. The boy's risk of dying from that vaccine was way less than flying to, driving and staying in Chad and Niger for a few days. If someone tells you before you drive you might die driving you will think twice about it. At times that confidence is necessary, while at other times it's risky. Even rational people don't want to hear about all the risks and benefits of any drug or procedure they're having. "Just do what you think is right" is what a lot of people feel, surprisingly enough.

As the teenage boy left the clinic, smiling (thank God!), his father explained , "Uhm yeah I forgot to tell you that he passes out every time he gets an injection". LOL, thank you for the information man!!

Jordanians... Look At This Retarded Man

This is Stephen Hawking, a professor at the University of Cambridge and a leader scientist in theoretical physics, quantum gravity, black holes and a lot of scientific stuff I can't even understand.

He is paralyzed from head to toe because of a neurological disease he's been suffering from for 40 years. Despite that, he wrote books, articles, made theories and won a load of all the awards and medals you can think of in different countries.

This man is so lucky he was not born in Jordan, or else he'd be referred to as that retarded cripple who collects change at the sidewalk in Sagf El-Sail....

Among all the disabled people you see in the streets and know about in Jordan, how many times

have you ever seen a prime minister, an ambassador, or even some medium-level official in a crappy ministry who is disabled? An amputee? a blind or deaf man? Someone ambulating by wheelchair? Someone who walks in "a funny way"?

Never.

The sad fact is that physical disability in Jordan is considered a form of mental retardation.

Blindness, Deafness or a missing arm or a leg are reasons for Jordanians, even well-educated enlightened Jordanian, to think that your brain is under-developed.

Do you want to see a picture of another "retarded" man?

Franklin Roosevelt, the longest-serving president of the United States, ruled the US for 12 years while sitting on a wheelchair.

And that was in the 1930s..... that's how much we are behind them.....

.

That's how much we are retarded!!

.

Rattle Snake in Jordan

A huge 2.5 meter- snake has been around for years in a little Irbid town, scaring kids and their parents , sneaking quietly (like a snake) from one house to another


until....

one day.....

this lady....

no one else but this lady....

the 80-year old Samya Moosa Al-Alwaneh

said enough is enough....



and she f-king murdered the snake with her own bare hands.




I bet you half of Shmesani girls will pass out just by looking at the picture.

Shukran Khalti Samya, shu tabkha 3al ghada el yoom? he3 he3 he3

هيك الحكي الصحيح

رغم سفري الطويل جداً اليوم والارهاق والجتلغة مع اختلاف التوقيت إلا أنه يتوجب علي أن أقول مبروك للزعيم وفيصلي برازبلووووو هوو هااااي هووو .... بس خلاص

What Is A High-Velocity Tear Gas Projectile?

It's something Israel might use to kill you if you peacefully protest building a wall on your land.

The picture above is of 29-year old Basem Abu Rahme.

Twenty Palestinians have been murdered by Israel while protesting their apartheid wall.

Sadly, they will all be forgotten.

(via Sabbah Report. )

MiiiiiiiKRO -Blogging: Wadde3 Horayrata Enna Al-Rakba Morta7ilooo.... Wa Hal Toteeko Wada3an Ayyahal Rajolooo?? Rajolo.... Lam

HM King Abdullah met Barack Obama yesterday. Both men agree that having "Hussain" as your middle name could be a honor in one country but a reason to question your patriotism in another.

- A woman weighing 240 kilograms gave birth to a healthy kid in Romania. After delivery she said she was still in pain but was so happy to lose 4 kilograms.

- Ukraine vowed to get rid of all its nuclear weapons by the year 2012. Rumor has it that only a few hours after they did 2 tribes in Salt made a generous offer to buy them.

- Looks to me like Ammani mothers want their pre-school kids to be bilingual. Bad news: your kids are barely smart enough to even learn one language. They'll end up non-lingual, similar to ice-age children who had lived 20,000 years ago.

- It was announced that Dick Cheney suffered another heart attack . He had it for 14 years but it took doctors that long to locate his heart.

- The Jordanian military hospital in Gaza has been open for a year and has accepted 204,000 Palestinian patients, or as al-Jazeera reported it, "Jordan continues to fuck Palestinians"

- A law in Michigan allows any teenager as young as 12 years of age to buy a handgun as long as he has not committed a felony. The purpose of this law is to allow any teenager who is as young as 12 years of age to commit a felony.

- French president Sarkozy continued his apology tours for France's previous occupations. He had previously apologized for Algerians for occupying their country. If he's really sorry about France's role in torturing millions of Arabs in one country he'd rather visit Jordan to apologize for Orange.

- The US administrations is getting tough on Israel. Joe Biden publicly criticized Israel for building new settlements and Hillary Clinton yelled at Netenyahu in a 43-miniute phone call. It is predicted that by the beginning of the summer Barack Obama's sex tape with a Jewish woman in the oval office will be on DVD.

- I am realizing that "very safe" towns in America are very boring towns. Before I move to a new town next time I have to make sure they have a couple of homocides every once in a while.

- Elizabeth Taylor is getting married again. She is 79 and this would be her 9th marriage. I don't know if they'll ever make an Arabic movie about her life but if so I'm sure it will be played by Sabah.

- Toyota is suffering. Despite billions of dollars their reputation keeps getting worse because of major technical problems. Nobody seems to be learning the lesson from Real Madrid.

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"In the picture is Richard Kuklinski, nick-named iceman. He murdered 250 men starting at the age of 13. He used to keep his victims' bodies frozen in freezers so that the police won't be able to tell the time of death once they find a body. I mentioned the term ice age above in the post so I thought about posting a picture with something related to ice. Bon Appetit."