Wednesday, December 31, 2008
Once Again
Whatever is happening in Gaza now will end after some time only to happen again later, maybe in Gaza, or in some other Palestinian city.
Some people blame Hamas for these events. I think Hamas was terribly stupid in throwing those lousy rockets. It's just dumb to seek a war when you have no chance of winning, and yes Hamas had no chance of liberating an inch of Palestine by throwing these rockets. Those rockets were the perfect gift for Israel to start something that it had done extremely well since its foundation: play the victim and express its right to "self-defence", and telling Americans, "If San Diego was attacked by rockets from Tijuana wouldn't you respond?"
However, attacking a terror state should not be called terrorism, and whatever unreasonable goals that Hamas had on its agenda should not make it an justification for people to blame it. With all my sorrow and grief for the hundreds of victims that died and are still dying from the recent attacks, this tragedy doesn't even compare to the tragedy of losing a whole nation and worse, its division upon itself. I'm not sure what is the solution to this current problem, but that's why we have politicians, that's why we pay them very good salaries, so they can figure out problems for such crises, and I'm afraid they're not doing their job.
Saturday, December 27, 2008
MiiiiiKRO - BLOGGING: Mekkarren Mefarren Mokbelen Modberen Ma3an, Ka Julmoodi Sakhren Hattaho Assaylo Men Ali.... Ali.... Yaaa2
- The name of my country in English should have been Ordon and not Jordan. It really sucks whenever I'm looking up Jordan on google or youtube and the first 1000 results are those of basketball player, a tooth brush or some stripper.
- People who still believe in signs need to go to rehab. The only sign I believe in is the middle finger and it will be up in your face the next time you ask me what my sign is.
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P.S. I always post pictures of very hot women from around the world. To show my patriotism I decided this time to display some Jordanian beauty on my blog. This picture is breath-taking, I really went "haaaaaa2" and my heart paused for 5 seconds the first time I saw it.
Friday, December 26, 2008
Un-Stoning Dr. Evil
That's not a Jordanian Santa holding a kid.
This is Mohammad Asha, the Jordanian physician who immigrated to the UK to become a neurosurgeon. He was arrested in July 2007 and charged with a lot of things, mainly of being a terrorist. I wrote about that arrest when it happened, and gave a few reasons why it would've been unlikely for him to be guilty.
A year and half later, he was acquitted. He's out of jail. Who knew about it? Nobody. When he was arrested, the whole world knew about the Arab doctor who wants to kill people, and the American media scared the bejesus out of people of those Arab doctors who want to kill people. Watch out for those dark-skinned Middle-Eastern doctors with the accent who want to shoot toxic drugs in your veins.
Now that he's out, nobody is talking about it. I'm used to the American media, they are the garbage of all garbages. A Sawsan Tuffaha news bulletin is better than any news bulletin I've heard on any US news station, but what's disappointing was the Arab and Jordanian media who totally ignored this piece of news.
People judge Asha. He looks scary. He can't fit in well with his community. His patients will be scared of him. He's an Islamist. He hangs out with the wrong crowd. He goes to a "suspicious" mosque. I cannot disagree with that, but that is very different from labelling him as a terrorist who is willing to kill innocent civilians in airports, a very serious crime. He may always have an untrimmed beard, he may always decide to never smile in a picture, but the fact is that he spent 18 months in jail away from his wife and son, his reputation was destroyed, and the future of this straight-A medical student as a neurosurgeon was over before it even started, and all that for a crime he did not commit.
Thursday, December 25, 2008
Christmas-iyyat
That's Jose Feliciano singing Feliza Navidad, the only Christmas song that I don't mind listening to before Dec. 24
And this is how Christians in Bethlehem, the birth place of Jesus Christ, are celebrating Christmas. Today's reprt from Al-Jazeera
Merry Christmas!
Monday, December 22, 2008
Voices of No Reason
"No, he said he had it for 20 years, or 22, not sure, he keeps changing his story. He doesn't have any documentation with him but he has some bottles with HIV drugs. He was admitted last night for gastroenteritis. He's also schizophrenic, big time schizo, and he just came from Phoenix to Tucson and is not saying why. This guy's crazy, so if you can just tell us what HIV meds should we keep him on and if we need to check a CD4 count or other labs as well. Appreciate it."
I went to see that patient at the end of the day. It was around 6 pm. I intoduced myself to this 40-something dude, brought a chair and started chatting. I looked at him: he had a very abnormal face, which could tell his had some congenital disease. I tried to guess what it was but couldn't come up with something. If I had paid more attention in the genetics class in med school I might have been able to tell ( damn those Khateeb lectures were so boring).
Although I love talking to psych patients, I didn't feel very comfortable then. This guy had no facial expressions. I would ask him a question and he'd answer like a robot. No smile, no frown, no emotions in his voice. No emotions in his face.
I was done asking him about what I needed to about his HIV, then decided to go a little bit over the schizophrenia.
"So you have schizophrenia?"
"Yes"
"For how long have you had it"
"Two years"
"Do you hear voices"
"Yes"
"What do they tell you"
"They tell me to ........." and I couldn't hear well
"What?"
"They tell me to hurt people"
"What do you do when you hear them?"
"I obey them"
"So have you tried to hurt people"
"Yes"
"What else do they tell you"
"They tell me to kill people"
"And what do you?"
"I obey them"
"Have you tried to kill people?"
"Yes"
"How?"
"With a gun, I have a gun"
"Do you have a gun with you now?"
"No, I left it in Phoenix"
"Why did you leave Phoenix?"
"Because I had a court order"
"Order for what?"
"Court order to take my schizophrenia medications"
"So you don't want to take medication?"
"No"
"Why not?"
"I don't like these medications"
"So for how long haven't you taken these medications"
"Long time"
"Do you hear voices when you take the medications?"
"No"
"So are you hearing voices now?"
He paused as if he was listening to someone else
"Yes"
"At this moment, are you hearing voices"?
"Yes"
"What are they telling you?"
Closing his eyes he answered, "lotsa things, lotsa things"
"Are they telling you to hurt someone?"
He paused again and looked straight at me, again without any facial expression. I started the process of crapping on myself, and wished I had stopped at the HIV part and left the room. It was dark, the room's door was closed and because it was the night shift there were only very few nurses around. I was 1-on-1 against this man. He was well-built, with a sign "6th street gangster" tattooed over his back, and quite a few scars on his face. I thought to myself if this dude jumps on me now and rests his big hands over my neck he can send me to floor minus two (the morgue) in 20 seconds and I will end up being a headline on the local newspaper.
Instead, he answered, "No" and kept listening to the voices and added, "they're not telling me to hurt people"
I left the room, as I opened the door I turned back and said, "Ok, nice to meet you sir"
I was not expecting a reply but he said, "Nice to meet you too"
I called his intern.
This guy may end up in jail for violating a court order, but they won't admit him to a hospital unless he was actively contemplating suicide or homocide. If he had thought of it a few weeks back they would still let him go back to the street.
Here's the equation: in our city of nearly one million, there are only 2 hospitals with very few beds reserved for psychiatry patients. Each night costs 500 dollars. Meanwhile there is much more room in jail, and a night there costs 10% of what a night in a psych hospital costs.
Sunday, December 21, 2008
Hareega's Bi-Monthly Video: Palestine's Independence
Plenty of hopes, plenty of expectations at that time,
the rest is history.
What Else Can You Transplant Other than Hearts, Kidneys, Pancreases, Lungs and Faces?
I went inside the room, and found the daughter, and started explaining.
"You know your mother has that C. diff infection that is causing here to have this severe diarrhea. We have been treating her with several medications for so long and nothing is working. She lost so much weight. So we looked in the medical literature and we have very few options left...."
The daughter opened her eyes, and seemed excited at the potentially good news coming.
"So one thing that has been shown to work, is what we refer to as stool transplantation"
I paused. I was thinking to myself, "Please God I hope she have really heard of the procedure , please God tell don't let me explain it to the lady"
"What is that doc?"
"Ok .... this infection is caused by a sudden alteration of the number and type of bacteria in the colon, so we have to restore that as naturally as possible"
"So how do you do that?"
"We bring a stool specimen from someone else, and give it as an enema: we will give it from behind, up your mother's rectum, in an attempt for the normal bacteria there to overtake the colon. There are some studies showing that this works very well in refractory cases, like your mother's"
The daughter did not look too happy, but she asked, "So where would you get the specimen from?"
"It should be someone who lives with her, so who lives with your mother?"
"It's only me"
"Do you eat a similar diet?"
"Yes"
"Ok so you have to be the donor"
"Uhm OK, but why?
"Because if you eat the same diet, you produce the same feces, so that would match your mother's colon the best"
"So what if it didn't work?"
"Well in another study they dropped an NG tube from the nose to the stomach and they gave the stool in liquid form down that tube. It works"
"And what if it didn't work, what should we do?"
" We can try again. Maybe we can use the same stool sample and give it on different days" - I was able to hold myself from saying ,"hence the term : same shit, different day"
The daughter didn't have any more questions, so I told her that we soon will be contacting her to arrange for the first stool transplantation in our hospital. I left the room thinking to myself, "Well maybe this would be a chance for her to show her true love for her mother".
Morale of the story: Don't take antibiotics unless you really really have to, they can KILL you, or at least place your doctor and family members in some really embarrassing situations.
Thursday, December 18, 2008
Mikro-Blogging: Alasta Wa3adtani Ya Qalbo Etha Ma Tobto 3an Layla Tatoobo,Fa Ha Ana Ta2ebon 3an Hobbi Layla, Fa Ma Laka Kullama Thokerat Tathubo.Baa2.
- I keep trying to convince guys my age that they shouldn't look at the mirror when they shave. By now they should have figured out how their face's texture looks like and how and where exactly to shave. They still don't believe me, not sure if this has anything to do with the 2 cuts I have on my upper lip.
- I cannot believe that the Lebanese haven't figured out who assassinated Al-Hariri in 2005. Here's how you do an investigation the Jordanian way: grab everyone within a 10-kilometer radius from the crime scene, beat the crap out of them, then take the first guy who screams "I'll say whatever you want me to say but take out your stick from my shusmo" to court.
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
Why Do We Throw Shoes at People?
Because we cannot protest injustice without being afraid of suffering some consequences.
Because one of the worst leaders in history flew to the country he had destroyed as if that land was his own, expecting people to greet him as the liberator who brought them the same beautiful democracy that elected him as president twice despite his single-digit IQ.
Right after the incident, it was ironic to see that AL-Zaidi who only throw a shoe at a jerk being arrested and dragged out of the room as if he was a serial killer while the man who divided a whole country upon itself, caused the death of a 100,000 people and called this war of evil a war of liberation that Iraqis should thank him for was standing there making jokes about the incident and was later defended by many empty-minded self-centered Americans who feel they were personally offended by this attack.
I don't think I totally agree with what that shoe-thrower did, but I sure was hoping for that both shoes to hit their target right in the face.
Sunday, December 14, 2008
Mikro-Blogging Li Yawm El Ahad Sita3sh Thul Hijjah Alf O Arba3miyyeh O Tes3ah O Ishreen Hijri, Al Mowafeq Lil Rabe3 Ashar Min Kanun Thani, 2008 Miladi
- I know quite a bunch of Arab men in the US who married American women just to get the green card. All of them are having some serious problems, usually from their wives who didn't like getting deceived. Whenever one of these men starts complaining to me I tell them how sorry I feel for them while thinking to myself, "I hope she screws you over and over again, and takes all of your money then gets you deported you cheap opportunistic son of a bitch".
Tuesday, December 09, 2008
Good-Bye Polaroid
Monday, December 08, 2008
Jordanian Bloggers, Politics and That Guy
Our freedom is not that limited. There's always a Parliament you can trash, and a government that you can criticize (be careful not to trash). And again, if you're not politically strongly associated with communists or islamists, you've got less things to worry about. But you have to be very selective in your language, and the more important the person you're discussing the more careful you become. Besides, there is no anonymous Jordanian blogging. We all realize that everyone is watched in Jordan, which very occasionally may be necessary.
The freedom we have as blogger is unlimited as long as you agree with the government. You're always very free to praise the government. Once you disagree you have to be very selective in your language in saying so. Now when it comes to discussing that guy, you have to be extremely careful. You have to watch every word you say and make sure it cannot misunderstood. I have deleted a couple of my own entries days after I posted them just because I felt some readers may feel that I was criticizing that guy when I actually was not. The thing is, I'm not looking for people to start criticizing that guy. I like that guy. I really think he's doing a great job especially in a country like Jordan, which has little resources and a weak military in comparison with other countries. But sometimes I feel like I want to say a few things but I stop from myself from saying them. I feel like other people too may want to say things but they really cannot express them. That guy may be like your father, you really like him and hope he'll be always be around, never hoped to have a different father, but if he has a bad friend, or if he's investing his money in something he shouldn't be investing in, or you felt someone is planning to hurt him and hurt your brothers and sisters, you'd really like to say so. You would want to tell him to do this and not do that. Maybe it won't change much of what's going to happen, but you just feel like you want to say, at least to get it off your chest, and that indeed makes you feel more like you belong to this one big family where everyone cares about the other.
I hope you had a nice weekend and Happy Eid.
Sunday, November 30, 2008
Mikro-Blogging, Wake Me Up When November Ends
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
Micro-Blogging Lil Yawm Al 27 Thul Qe3dah Alf O Arba3miyyeh O Tes3a Wa 3ishreen Hijri, Al Mowafeq Lil 25 Tishreen Al-Thani Alfain O Thamanyeh Miladi
- I'm watching a black gay guy on TV complaining of racial discrimination in the American gay community. I invite him to come to Jordan, we don't discriminate against black people.
- I saw James Bonds' Quantum of Solace today. It's a proof that complicating the movie's name does not make it a better James Bond movie. Agree with me, Dr. No?
- I think that in America, love is overrated and marriage is underrated. In Jordan love is underrated and marriage is overrated.
- "House" is a great TV series except for.... you know... the medical stuff.
- I know some of you will hate this, but Jordanians on facebook should stop creating groups for their loved ones when they get sick and ask strangers to pray for them. Every such group ends up with the sick person dying. Can't you see it really brings bad luck? If you really care about that sick person don't just click on the button to join the group, move your lazy ass to the hospital and bring something nice with you.
- I have a Citibank credit card with 1000 dollars due. Citibank is suffering some financial difficulties and is asking Congress for help. Congress will give them billions of dollars from tax payers (like yours sincerely) to help. Hey Congress bastards, how about you give me the 1000 bucks and we're even?
- I'm hearing a report that there is an increasing number of Americans seeking work as porn stars. I guess that when given the choice of either being screwed by their angry boss at the office or being screwed by a 190 cm guy called Melvin, they went with the choice that brought them more money.
Monday, November 24, 2008
Recipe For Singles: How Not To Cook a Beef Tongue
Here is my recipe on how NOT to cook a 10-pound beef tongue:
1- Do not pre-heat you cooking pan for 30 minutes
2- Do not add a mixture of fluids consisting of olive oil and soy milk.
3- Then do not add barbecue sauce to that mixture.
4- Do not throw the previously cut pieces of tongue inside the pan and cover it.
5- Do not add parsley, fried parsley does not taste good.
6- Sixty minutes later, after you've realized this meal will taste horrible, do not add half the bottle of red wine that you bought 2 years earlier and never opened. Just adding wine to whatever you're cooking does not elevate your meal to something that belongs to the French cuisine.
However, If you insist on adding the wine, make sure your fire alarm is off. The tongue-BBQ sauce-wine reaction is not pretty.
7- Eventually, after you have realized that your meal is ruined, do not try to cover up the taste by adding six eggs to it. That is a waste of eggs.
8- Your meal is now ready, do not enjoy.
Anyway, if you don't know what I want for Christmas, here's a hint :)
Sunday, November 23, 2008
The Bi-Monthly Video: Thrilla in Manilla
Thursday, November 20, 2008
الصومال.... شبه جزيرة الكنز
الطاقم الفني والإداري والمهني في مدونة هاريغا يتمنى للاخوة الصوماليين كل التوفيق في إحكام سيطرتهم على سفينة النفط التابعة للاخوة السعوديين ويتمنى لهم كل التوفيق في قرصنة كل ما تبقى من هذه السفن، ولتشجيع الاخوة القراصنة نقوم بتقديم هذه الأغنية الهادفة من مسلسل جزيرة الكنز، المسلسل الوحيد المعروض على شاشة تلفزيون مقديشو منذ عشرين سنة وهو ما ألهم الاخوة القراصنة في تنفيذ عملهم التاريخي ....
Gahwa
2004.
At Starbucks.
Hareega, "Can I have a medium-sized Mocha?"
The tattooed girl behind the bar looked at the half-blonde guy with the earings next to her, "Mocha, grande"
Thinking that grande means large, I told her, "No I don't want the grande, I want the medium one"
The guy with the earings looked at me in disgust, as if I was the most illiterate piece of crap who had just stepped down from his camel, and answered with a nasal voice "Well grande is the medium size, the large one is the Venti"
"Venti?"
"Yes Venti, here's your Mocha sir"
I drank the coffee and was glad to learn a new Italian word.
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2005
Starbucks again.
I asked Christine, the awfully hot, only un-tattooed and the shamefully single chick behind the coffee bar, "Can I have a Venti Mocha? I usually take the grande but I need to stay up tonight"
Christine made a brilliant suggestion, "Why don't you add a shot of espresso?"
"Sure"
then she made another suggestion, "I love the White Chocolate Mocha, many girls do, it's my favorite drink"
Automatically, following the gatmoosheh's recommendation I said, "then I'll have the White Chocolate Mocha with an extra shot of espresso".
----------------
2006
"Can I have a Venti White Chocolate Mocha with an extra shot of espresso"
"Sure, do you wanna add a flavor to it for 50 cents ?"
"OK, I'll take the Creme de Mint. whatever sounds French must taste good"
---------------
2007
Realizing how fat I was getting, I added "low-fat" to my drinks.
---------------
2008
" Hi, can I have a low-fat double espresso White Chocolate Mocha with a creme de mint flavor shot and another shot of caramel without whipped creme... oh and make it a Venti"
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
Losing Your Religion
This religious group formed a few years before this incident. What was remarkable is that its leader, a white guy with an outstanding charisma named Jim Jones, invited people from all races to join this church. It wasn't more than a large church where people prayed and sang together, joining with a sense of brotherhood.
That guy, Jim Jones, had an outstanding influence on his followers. It was gradual but very effective. With time it became more difficult for the followers to leave his church. As the US government started questioning this cult, Jones went with his followers to an isolated town in Guyana called Jonestown. When the families of the 1000 followers became very concerned about their family members, a Congressman flew there with a big team of journalists. He visited the Temple where the followers used to pray, and some of the followers wanted to leave the church and return with him to the US. Long story short, things turned very tense and one of the guards of the Temple shot the Congressman and a few members of the team and killed him with 2 journalists. Minutes later, Jim Jones made a speech that was taped (click here to listen, boy it's scary) asking all the followers to drink cyanide. The followers gave toxic cyanide to their children (300 children) then swallowed it themselves. A few of them refused to do so, so the guards forcibly injected them with cyanide. Jim Jones was then shot by one of the guards.
What may come to your mind, is that a bunch of hippies joined some weird cult formed by a weird guy, and they deserved what happened to them.
What you need to keep in mind, is that this religious group formed on good intentions. People from all around joined together, for a common cause, prayed together and sang together. It was fun. It felt right to them. Jones took it to the very extreme and that's why he and most of his followers perished. Very few of his followers survived, and they described in a few interviews how influential Jones was. Even those who drank the poison to kill themselves felt it the right thing to do, they were following the commands from upstairs.
I think every religion has its Jim Jones. Those Jim Jones' are a bit smarter, more qualified, more friendly-looking, less dramatic, but after all they are Jim Jones. Never underestimate the love of power many religious leaders have. Don't be afraid to question what they say, and don't hesitate to challenge them if you think they're leading you on the wrong track. You've got five senses, use them. Don't be blind. Maybe Jones killed his followers by making them drink cyanide, but a whole lot of poisons can kill faster and quicker than cyanide.
In this picture taken from the day after the incident , you can see the sign : "Those who do not remember the past are condemned to repeat it".... well-said Mr. Jones!!
To watch a clip of a report of the incident, click here.
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
Operation Iraqi Freedom
This is what Americans don't see on Fox News, CNN, NBC, ABC, but they may occasionally see on Comedy Central if Jon Stewart could pull a Bush-bashing joke out of it,
This is what's supposed to be the war on terror,
the war on evil,
the war to crush al-Qaeda
the war to bring democracy to the Middle East
the war that John McCain didn't want to stop before he could declare victory,
when there wasn't anything to win in the first place
those are the people who, if not attacked in Iraq, were going to attack Americans on US soil
According to Ghosts of Abu Ghraib documentary, one US soldier asked, "Who should I be shooting?". He was told, "Just shoot anyone who looks like the enemy", and he thought to himself, "but they all look like the enemy"
The Life and Times of Tim
Tim is a normal guy who always gets into trouble despite having good intentions. He has a nice girlfriend who strangely forgives him for anything he does. His job is a source of one embarrassment after another.
The dialogue: priceless.
Every Sunday night on HBO, you probably can watch a few epsidoes on youtube, here are some short clips, a bit of an adult language:
To watch a full episode, you may click here
Sunday, November 16, 2008
Hareega's List of the Ten Most Controversial Figures in the Arab World
But those ten people I'm going to discuss here were very exceptional in that the controversy they have created was very significant and lasted for a long time. Their lives, actions, thoughts and struggles have affected and will continue to affect our lives, thought, actions and struggles in the future.
Hareega
1- Hasan Nasrallah
Despite the negative image about him in the West, the Arab street's opinion is split on the Hizbullah leader, and one can hardly find anyone who has a neutral opinion about him. To some he's the first Arab to score a military victory against Israel in decades, but to others he's only serving Iran's interests in a critical area in the Middle East. Regardless of what you think of him, his influence has been dramatically rising inside Lebanon and in the region and that doesn't seem to be changing anytime soon.
2- Nawal Saadawi
One of the most liberal writers in the Arab world, Saadawi's writings and opinions caused her to get expelled from her job, go to jail, and receive numerous threats from Islamic groups. She suffered from genital mutilation herself then became an adovcate against it. Her writings inspire a lot of feminists in the Arab world. She remains a very controversial figure, and here's a short clip to help you understand why:
3- Hoda Shaarawi
The leader of the feminist movement in Egypt. Not only did she study in Europe and accompany her husband to many political meetings, but in 1923 she removed her face veil in public. She lead the first women's first street demonstration, the first women's social service organization, and published the first feminist magazine.4- Faisal Al Qasim
Many things can shake relationships between two Arab countries, but very few would have expected it could be merely a TV debate show airing every Tuesday night. His provocative introductions have triggered verbal and near-physical attacks between his guests almost all the time , closed embassies and made angry people protest in the streets. Just to tell you how pissed off some governments were, his brother singer Majd Al Qasim was prohibited from entering Egypt for one debate show that Faisal hosted the week before.
Here's a clip from one such debate:
6- Nizar Qabbani
His tragic personal life brought the best of him. All of his poems about women, love, feminism and nationalism stirred controversy. It's not unusual to have his poems banned from schools and it would be hard to see anyone reading them uncensored on a TV screen. Many singers have to edit his erotic poems to make them a more family-friendly material for singing.
7- Moammar Qaddafi
He has been the leader of Libya for nearly four decades. He has supported liberation movements all over the world, which created many enemies especially in the Arab world. He has been linked to bombing a commercial flight, bombing a discotheque, kidnapping a Shiite leader, invading a neighboring country, and appointing himself as the "king of Africa". He also insists that Coca Cola is African, not American.The father of Arab nationalism. Had enormous dreams about Arab unity and liberating Palestine only to have them all crushed in the 1967 defeat. Has many followers to this day who name themselves after him. His critics hold him responsible for the shameful six-day war defeat and permanently destroying the self-esteem of Arabs.
Here's a clip playing the death announcement by Anwar al-Sadat and parts of his funeral.
9- Sayyid Qutb
An Egyptian Islamic writer and philosopher who had a massive contribution to the emergence of Islamic brotherhood on the political scene. He despised everything about America, supported the 1952 coup in Egypt against the monarchy but disagreed with the non-Islamic Abdul Nasser regime, which earned him a few years in jail. He was accused later of a plot to assassinate Abdul Nasser and was therefore executed in 1966. For that reason he is considered by his followers to be a martyr. Ironically Al-Azhar considers him to be a defiant.
10- Haifa Wahbi
Among all the new female Arab singers who are showing more flesh and less talent, Haifa Wahbi stands out. A former Miss Lebanon, she is a pioneer in the modern Arabic music era. More than that, this woman is beautiful and she was chosen as the 41 st most beautiful woman in the world per People's magazine. She proved that beauty and a few steamy clips can bring you a lot of money and fame in the Arab world, raising many serious questions among Arabs on how conservative we really are.
If you don't think so, watch this and tell me you didn't like it:
Saturday, November 15, 2008
A little micro-blogging
Man, I can't wait for Macy's and BestBuy to go bankrupt, that would be the best day of my life.
-- Lindsay Lohan said she might be bisexual. Can someone tell that girl that the only we'll care about her is when she gets drunk and hits a tree.
-- I saw Tyra Banks on the Today Show (yes I'm transforming into a desperate housewife) saying that one out of 5 teenage girls wants to become a teen mom. Man, once a black guy becomes president the whole country turns black.
- After gay marriage was banned in California, gays there took the streets. All protests were crushed when policemen threw cappuccino that is not fat-free at the protesters.
- HM Queen Rania won the Youtube Visionary Award after she posted inspiring videos on youtube. Hard Luck to that guy from "The Evolution of Dancing".
- France's minister of foreign affairs said that Obama's election brings great hope. Ok you French motherf--kers, when you elect an Algerian president you can start talking.
- Quote from Bill Maher, " When we make a joke about Obama, we're not making a joke about all black people, anymore than when we made a joke about President Bush, we were making a joke about all mentally challenged people"
Thursday, November 13, 2008
USA.... United for Socialism Altogether
What many of them did not get is that social justice does not mean socialism. When the top 1% of the country owns more than what the bottom 50%, someone has to step in and do what it takes to prevent the whole country being owned by the top 1%.
When the middle class starts shrinking in any country, the economy will continue collapsing and the country starts falling apart. Many Americans were so scared of Obama redistributing the wealth. They forgot that what Republicans did and were still planning on doing is exactly the same: redistributing the wealth. They redistributed it from the less privileged to the more privileged. Sooner or later most people will end up with no more wealth to resdistibute.
Most concerned Americans give an example of hurricane Katrina victims, or some poor family getting benefits from welfare when its members are not showing any effort to work or bring money to their family. That may be true, but what's more true is that most Americans who are suffering from the economic crisis are those who worked hard and have 2 or 3 jobs to continue surviving, or senior citizens who have worked all their life to spend a few good last years but end up mopping floors or greeting customers at 11 pm at Walmart for a few worthless bucks that will prevent them from going bankrupt after getting their last medical bill.
Yesterday DHL stopped its domestic service inside the US. Some low-cost airlines like ATA and Aloha stopped their operations within the US. Other airlines like Delta and Northwest merged. Some banks went bankrupt and other banks are in serious threat and may close as well.
What America may end up with, is one or two banks, one or two airlines, one or two express mail services, or or two American auto makers, one or two video rental places all over..... where have we seen all that? Oh yeah, socialist countries! When you rememer that there have been only two parties running everything in this country for the past few decades, that shouldn't come as a big surprise.
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
Jordani-yat: Pictures of Jordan and the Royal Family, long long time ago
A house damaged by the Black September events in 1970.
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
That's why I'm still single
I really don't know how to raise kids. I know what I want my kid (only one) to be, someone with good manners who is respectful and has a purpose in life, besides of course being ready to give up everything he has for his father and (optionally) his mother. But I haven't figured out the process through I which I transmit this desire of mine to him, that process that many smart people and Oprah call raising.
It's like being a genius professor at college, dedicated to the job but at the same time you're a very bad teacher. You do your best to teach your students and want them to be great scientists but you can't get the job done. You cannot deliver. And the students end up being ignorant and dumb.
So I'm still confused how to do it. What should I do if my son makes a dreadful mistake? Should I sit down with him and explain very quietly that what he did what wrong, or should I beat the crap out of him and hang from his balls for 48 hours? Maybe I'll settle for both options, talk to him first then hang him from his balls, just to make sure that I'm right at least 50% of the time.
When it comes to raising kids I can't help but categorize kids into two categories: The Kit-Kat kids and the Bag3a kids. Kit-Kat kids are treated very gently and are kept in a bubble that protects them from all harms but that bubble also keeps them away from many challenges in life that are necessary to make them strong tough human beings. Once they start growing up they're shocked by how tough life is and a lot of them experiment with drugs, alcohol or sex and do not "listen to their parents" anymore.
Bag3a kids are being raised in a much more rough environment, and their parents beat the hell out of them for anything wrong they do, and in other occasions for no clear reason. These kids are able more to survive however quite a lot of them get a few psychological problems and become abusive in the future to their wives and kids.
Ok, most kids don't fall in either extreme, although many kids in America are Kit-Kat kids and many in Jordan are Bag3a kids. My point is that you need a lot of effort, knowledge and experimenting to learn how to raise your kids the right way. That's why I plan on having 5 kids; the first four will be for experimenting and once I'm done I'll donate these kids to some organization or Angelina Jolie, hopefully that will be legal by then (so vote for Ralph Nader, I'm sure he'll still on the ballot in 2024). Only the 5th kid will be my kid.
So, that's with the kids. But how about the wife?? I can barely stand having a roommate for a month, so how about a roommate forever? I dedicate 2-3 hours daily to watch TV, and a few hours every week to SOMADON (Sit On My Ass and DO Nothing). After a few year experience, I realized that SOMADON helps relax you quite a bit. Each SOMADON session lasts 1-2 hours, and it feels great, knowing that you're gonna waste some good 100 minutes doing absolutely nothing, which gives you a fake sense of relief. Now will my future wife understand how important is that for me?
And I don't want her to share these Somadon sessions with me. If she wants to Somadon she can do it herself. But if I'm Somadoning and I see her in front of me, I'll remember that I'm married and that I have a lot of responsibilities as a married man and that will ruin the whole Somadon session for me. I'll just politely ask her to getfosa (get the f--k off and somadon alone).
What Does SOMADON involve? I just sit on Raheejeh (my sofa) and look at the wall. I don't have any picture or painting on the wall, it's empty, but I just enjoy sitting and watching. One to two hours, until I start feeling better.
How about my eating habits? I like to sit on my big super-ugly super-cheap green Raheejeh and masticate my food while watching the TEVOed Leno's monologue from the night before or Knocked Up for the 100th time. I doubt that any woman would appreciate that. Then how about the bottle of Ketchup that I always keep under the sofa within my arm's reach. What's the point of returning the ketchup bottle to the kitchen if I'm gonna use it for every meal?
A friend told me that getting married is good for you, at least you don't sleep and wake up everyday in an empty house. However I know a few married guys who wish they'd sleep and wake up every night in an empty house, instead of living with the witches they're married to. Let's say for now, that I'm single and happy and until I'm about to absolutely feel that my life is wrecked and not worth living, I'm planning on keeping it the same way.
Sunday, November 09, 2008
Friday, November 07, 2008
Fastest Sharpest Least Shitty News Coverage From Hareega
...and HM King Abdullah called to congratulate Obama for his victory. He was heard telling him, "with a father's name like yours you'll definitely make a fantastic leader".
* George Wassuf was arrested in Sweden and charged with possession of 30 grams of cocaine. Wassuf was enraged by the arrest, and later told reporters , "This cocaine is not mine. I never carry less than 5 kilos"
* A new study revealed that women have more bacteria on their hands than men. To be fair that conclusion was reached after studying only one woman: Monica Lewinsky.
* Jordan's basketball team ended its participation in the Arab Championship in Tunisia. The players will be heading back home in the United States tomorrow morning.
Thursday, November 06, 2008
Predictions
Wednesday, November 05, 2008
Wings of Shame
Location: Some bar packed with Elvis Presleys, Osama Bin Ladins and Sarah Palins.
What the hell was I doing there: throwing trashy comments on people with different costumes.
So I saw this girl dressed up like a butterfly (or an angel as I later was told).
I started a conversation, "So can you fly" followed by a silly laugh.
"What"
"I'm asking: can you fly?"
"What, can't hear you?"
I started thinking how stupid I was to be doing this.
"Can you fly? Can you fly?"
I followed that question by placing my arms next to my body and flipping them like wings.
She looked at me as if I were an alien.
Feeling that my dignity as a human being has hit rock bottom and I'm left with nothing to lose, I asked again, "Can you fly, because you have wings you know, so can you fly?" and I flipped my arms again.
She smiled at me and replied, "Aren't you a doctor?"
"What?"
"You're a doctor right?"
I felt that I just hit another lower level of rock bottom, inexperienced by anyone before in history.
I remained silent.
She went, "I'm a nursing student, I always see you at the ICU"
then a Guerrilla next to her said, "Hey Dr. Masanat"
I just said, "Hey" and started heading for the exit.
Morale of the story: Always hide your identity before embarassing yourself
Tuesday, November 04, 2008
What if Obama Loses?
History supports me in this. In 1983, Harold Washington, a black man, was leading in the polls for Chicago's mayoral race by a wide margin but won with a much narrower margin. In 1989 Douglas Wilder, another black candidate, became Virginia's governor winning by less than a point although polls before the elections showed him leading by 9 points. In 1989 David Dinkins was leading by 18 points over Rudy Giuliani in New York's mayoral race but won by only 2 points. The most significant of all was Tom Bardley, a black dude, who was way ahead of his white opponent but lost the elections for governor of California.
History also can prove me wrong. These were all elections held in the 1980s. The country has changed since then, There are a lot of young voters this time. We also did not also see Obama suffering from any Bradley effect in the primaries, except probably in New Hampshire where he unexpectedly lost to Hilary Clinton. But if you look at the swing states like Ohio, Pennsylvania and Florida, there's a large population of people who may have a problem with Obama's race. Ralph Nader still has his supporters (3%) and he may take more of Obama's votes especially with Obama's opposition to gay marriage.
So what if Obama loses?
It would be only in electoral votes, just like Bush won in 2000 despite losing the popular vote. Politicians will seriously reconsider the electoral system.
Other than that, the country will be in shock. The only people who won't be shocked will be black people. Most of them have lost any confidence in the political system long time ago. This will probably kill any remaining hope that some of them still had in America, but a lot of them won't feel a thing (but I'm telling you, downtown LA will be wrecked). The people who will be in absolute shock are young people who are participating in this election. It will be sort of a wake-up call for them that tolerance exists less in US politics than it does in their college dormitories.
And then there will be the shock of electing another Republican, who voted with Bush 90% of the time, as the next president along with a vice president who has poor qualifications for any political office. The fact that Bush got away with all what he did was shocking enough, but the shock of electing a president for the incumbent party will be more shocking and disappointing to a lot of Americans.
I truly hope Obama will become the next president, but if he didn't that shouldn't come as a big surprise. It happened before and it will happen again.