Tuesday, June 03, 2008

The Sinlge Arab Woman: Autopsy Report

Age: ranges between 16-100
Case Numbers: 1- 100,000s and rising
Weight and Height: variable
Socio-economic class: variable

Findings:
The Single Arabs Woman was found to be in a previously good health and an above-average level of beauty. Well-educated and knowledgable, the Single Arab Woman refused to settle for less. She viewed people from the other gender as potential companions in life and not masters. Lovers, not animals.

A head exam revealed a well-developed brain capable of deep analysis and sound judgement. Analysis of the amygdala, the brain region responsible for love, showed a previously very hyperactive region that had over years shrunk to a very small barely-detectable size.
A specific exam of the auditory nerve responsible for hearing showed an overused nerve, mostly from being asked the same question , "Why are you still single?" on daily basis and on every occasion.
The rest of the exam showed bright eyes, a big heart and thick skin.
The cause of death of the Single Arab Woman is still unclear. No evidence of any suicidal attempts was visible although suicidal ideations could not be ruled out. Apparently there has been pressure over the Sinlge Arab Woman from an incredibly large number of people, mostly those living in close contact with her especially the same household.
All of this have left the Single Arab Woman with a critical level of frustration and an unjustifiable massive feeling of guilt.
It is unfortuante that such an intelligent creature was considered a burden on society and left to expire in such awful conditions. Given the large number of the cases we receive from the Single Arab Woman population and in order to save time and money, this autopsy report will be copied and attached to all the cases we receive in our morgue.

10 comments:

lost within said...

Excellent post ! I shall say no more :)

Rambling Hal said...

Ok dude this is GENIUS! Genius I tell you. This is going to become one of those email forwards people start sending around. Why, you ask? Coz I just forwarded it to 47 individuals :D

Ba3dein don't say bikh, ma biddi to blog, IZHIGET :D

caroline said...

hareega u r so understanding of the situation of 'girls' and i think u must be highly evolved to be able to grasp all that,esp that u r a Jordanian who is living abroad(which i tell u is becoming a lethal combination these days).I shall not add anything else bec then I will have to write an autopsy report of the arab males:):)lol

Hani Obaid said...

Sad, but beautifully written.

Hareega said...

LW.. thanks

Hal... well I hope you'll be back soon, your posts are interesting even when you talk about your driver

caroline... you're more than welcome to. I still don't understand a lot of things about women, it usually takes 200 years to do so

hani obaid. thanks for reading, and what's your salary lol

Khouloud said...

Excellent post, beautifully written.

Bas I disagree with you on the source of the pressure those Arab single women suffer from. In most cases, what drives Arab single women to feel pressured to get married as soon as one of the females they know ties the knot is THEIR belief that first there's school, then there's university then there's marriage and afterwards life begins, you do not mess with the previously mentioned order. In most cases and not all cases Arab single women let other people get to them when it comes to this issue because it is in fact something they obsess about, illi huwwe il wedding nafso and not the married life.

Hareega said...

yes but at university the majority of girls are already obsessed about marriage and they start freaking out when their female classmates get engaged and they do not. College to a lot of girls is a chance to be picked as a wife by another student. Education comes second.

ياسمين حميد said...

This is a lie! I am still alive and well!
:-D
good autopsy report, true in a lot of cases.

Zeina said...

Yes3ed Rabbak! Badda3et!

and yes, I will be forwarding to my friends as well.

Manuel Queso Badilla said...

that picture reminded me of Korn's musical video for A.D.I.D.A.S... nothing to do, i know, but I think it is the generic viagra i took a couple of hours ago that's bringing me strange memories.