Friday, December 23, 2005

Diary from Arizona.... Bart TWO

I don't know if i've mentioned that before my i love my underwear- kalaseen. In america most grown-ups wear boxers, but i adore el kalsoon and i treat it with respect and will never get rid of it. Obviously my family remembered that and they sent me 2 pieces of kalsoon that i have forgotten in Amman six months ago with their friends who were coming to Ariozna, and the friends called me telling me that they have "el-gharath" so i drove 2 hours to phoenix to bring "el-gharath".

One of the reasons i left my previous apartment was because many strangers have touched my kalsoon- ok don't get me wrong, i left them in the laundry machine for a week (i was busy jeez), and there's one laundry room to serve the whole compound i live in. Eventually the apartments manager gabba3at ma3o o 7aka hatha abu el kalaseen el double X-large etha bedoosh yeeji ysheel kalaseeno ana bashelllo iyyahom, so once after i ran off kalaseen i remembered my good old kalaseen in the laundry and i went there to pick them up, and i found them out of the laundry machine on a table nearby , forjeh lal raye7 wel jaay welli beddo yakhodlo kalsoon ye3mal menno baradi aw sharshaf lal tawleh bye3mall, so i was mad and i decided that if it comes to my kalaseen i am out of here.

So I moved to a new apartment. My mother visited me 3 months ago and cooked me mlookhiyyeh, and left it in the fridge so i would have it the next day. I forgot to eat it next day and the day after it became too stinky to be eaten, but i was disgusted to throw it away. I wasn't disgusted by the dirty socks on my sofa or the 3-cm think layer of dust on every surface in my apartment, but i was disgusted from a 2-day old mlookhiyyeh. Those 2 days became 3 months and i witnessed the evolutionary change of a green mlookhiyyeh into white then black then colorless all in my fridge. Eventualy my friend was afraid my neigbors would think i'm hiding a dead body in my place, so he himself threw the mlookhiyyeh away, 100 feet far from my apartment.

Some of the teams i worked with were strange. Once my supervisor was the husband of another doctor my level in the team. They were both Indians and newly married, and it was easy to feel the romance of the newly-wed coubble in the team. He preteneded to be el za3eem wel team leader bas awal ma teeji marto begleb zay el bisseh o beblasho yetbassamo la ba3ath o mesh nages ella yetla3 3ala shajara o yseer yghanneelha chukarmare mankoo. Later I worked in another team where everybody from doctors to pharmacists to medical students were women, and they tried to be as much professional as they can, bas walla kont mestashgefli akamenn wa7deh, bejanneno o bettaakalo bi kharaahom. Working with women all that time made me know the best ways of waxing, dealing with PMS, and who are the sexiest ten men alive.

I am discovering Tucson more and more. It's really nice but a special area is the South. Eveyobdy there is latino who would commit suicide if restaurants stopped making burritos. Many of the mehhhicanos are illegal, so Seyadet el Ra2ees george bush sharrafna bi zayara la Tucson last month where he had a speech starting with a very intelligent observation .... "Those who enter the country illegally violate the law."
so based on that genius statement you can conclude how effective his visit was in solving that problem

It's also a poor area, and you can still see some old Volks beatle cars not working and 4 big men pushing the car bi nuss deen el shoob edfesh ya alejandro o dezz men 3endak ya santiago and they're sweating all over o bantaloonhom full of sweat msa7wel o nuss teezhom embayneh bi nuss el share3.....

Another thing people enjoy there is cocaine, it's sold everyhwere and we always get patients
who've been smoking it men for ages. They get very sick and we treat them for a long time, and just before they leave bag3od ma3hom o bamsek el mareed o ba7keelo ma benfa3 haik ya ostaaz ortega you have to stop smoking this shit, bi7keeli mashi wala yhizzak, but after he leaves home bog3odlo jalset ons with his amigos o berja3elna 3al ICU mesh gader yetnaffas.

I got the chance to travel some places outside Tucson. I visited my sister in suburbs of Chicago, and when my mom visited me we went to Vegas and it was nice to meet some relatives there. I wasn't impressed by the fake eiffel tower fake venice or fake pyramids but i what i liked the most was the very real giant TV screens in hotels that broadcast live sport events. Each screen of these is larger than my apartment. I might end up watching the world cup there, i can't wait till it starts... all what i care for is to see Argentina kicking some Brazilian ass and after that i don't care if Argentina loses 10-0 to Saudi Arabia I just want Brazilians to know that maybe they play soccer well but they are not god.

Xmas is coming soon happy holidays , it's so strange how it's more acceptable to say merry x-mas in jordan than it is in america. Next time someone would tell me happy holidays i migh tell him send me your mama so i can enjoy my holiday. Anyway Xmas is boring here, there's one neighborhood where all hosues are decorated for Xmas, otherwise you'd feel that Xmas is more enjoyable in afghanistan than it is in tucson.


lulu said...

LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL. :) Ah, the refreshing taste of a well-written stream of thought. You are my laugh out loud blog of the day. 3ajbatni dezz men 3andak ya santiago.
Ya Mister Hareega: Merry Christmas!

Anonymous said...

I cannot wait for the next part. This is among my favorites including Boston Legal. Merry Christmas and happy new years everybody.

Anonymous said...

all this talk about your kalaseen ya hareega is putting mental images in my head...very enticing. i know what i am going to dream about tonight.

Anonymous said...

RRH, guy, you need a wife! Ya maskiin! I'll pray for you (I have a gift for matchmaking prayer)...invite me to the wedding next summer!


madas said...

lol... that was hillarius!

Merry christmas!

Madi said...

ya zalameh fi3lan enak 7areega!
hehe 3an jad hillarius!

salam said...

Hareega..that's way too much information!!Lol..but I do agree with kinzi..yall..ask your mom to start looking around:)

Exceer said...

love the post,, adorable :)
Merry Christmas....

Anonymous said...

Loooooool @ "the friends called me telling me that they have (el-gharath)".

"Working with women all that time made me know the best ways of waxing, dealing with PMS, and who are the sexiest ten men alive".... Come on share your knowledge Hareega ;)

A great post indeed man.... Thanks ;)

Hareega said...

thanx a lot everyone for bearing with this looong post, i almost slept while writing it.

iyas, sweet dreams !

kinzi you're the millionsth person to tell me i need a wife.. i wonder why??? :)

madas... merry xmas too thanx a lot :)

Anonymous said...

Hi hareega,
I came across ur blog by chance and have had a few enjoyable days reading all ur entries. LOVELY. Your kalaseen entry is hilarious and I would like to wish u all the best and keep up your good work in the hospital and ur blog.