Haditha Wala Haraj

"Involuntary manslaughter charges were dropped Friday against a 27-year-old Marine lance corporal who had faced trial in connection with the Marine killings of 24 civilians in Haditha, Iraq, in 2005."

I agree, I say let him go. If his president got away with starting a war that based one thousand lies that have caused the death and misery of millions, who cares about 24 people?

Welcome to my Slaughter House

Location: Arizona
Time: Last week
Occasion: An Afghani restaurant opened in town.
People: Hareega and another hungry Arab guy walking towards the place.
Topic of conversation: predictions of the name of the restaurant.

Hareega, "What do you think the name will be?"
Friend, "Not sure"
"Maybe they should call it Kabul"
"That would be stupid"
"Why?"
"I don't think Americans will feel comfortable eating in a place called Kabul"
"So what can they call it then?"
"They should give it a reasonable name, something Arabic that is socially acceptable"
"But Afghans are not Arabs"
"Americans don't know that"
"So what should they choose?"
"Aladdin"
"Name's already taken"
"Sindbad"
"Taken"
"Ali Baba"
"Taken!"
"Osama"
"Osama, sure!"
"Why can't someone call his restaurant Osama, nothing illegal in that"
"Right"
"And he'll have many customers, yes all of them will be CIA agents, still he'd run good business"
"Absolutely. I think there's one restaurant called Osama somehwere. The owner refused to change the name after 9/11"
"I can imagine, you're not supposed to change your name because of one bad guy with the same name"
"True"


We arrived at the place, looked up to the sign.



So the name of the Afghani restaurant is Thabee7a.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that mean S-L-A-U-G-H-T-E-R

All of sudden, Osama sounded like a more appropriate name.

By the way, the food was damn good, bloody damn good.

Respect

I see the shock on their faces. They look back at me for an explanation and I just close my eyes and take off, knowing that I'm part of it.
I walk away, leaving them alone burried in their misfortune. As I walk out I start tasting my own poison and my body drowns in the toxin of my doings.

"It's two hours, just two hours, maybe less" , I keep saying to myself but that never helped me feel less guilty. I leave them alone to live with it, with all the disgust and confusion that comes with it and I stay out of it in this world where croaches have bigger hearts than humans.

To all the people who decided to do housekeeping for my apartment over the past few years, I'm sorry for what I've made you go through.

What did I just say?

Watch George Bush saying that Iraq had nothing to so with the attacks on the World Trade Center!




And this guy may replace him!


Meanwhile, I just heard this song, lovely.

Feeling Blue without Viagra

I got a voice mail from a friend, "Call me urgently"

I called him an hour later.
"Got your voice mail, wassup?"
"I need the blue pill"

I was shocked to hear that. I mean when did Viagra become a tabooed word?
"Salamtak, you're still young!"
"No man I'm OK,, I'm still A MAN."
"So why do you want the pill?"
"You know, just to spice things up"
"But it wouldn't spice things up. It only helps if you can't have an erection"
"No, don't say that, I'm still A MAN, just want to spice things up"
"But I told you it doesn't spice things up, it's not as perfume , it's a medication"
"Ok so you don't wanna give it to me"
"No"
"Ok , bye"
----------------------------------------------


I was once sitting with a bunch of Arab guys, then was approached by an older Arab man, Abu Khalil.

He asked me to talk to me in private.
"Duktor Feris, I need Viagra if you don't mind"
I wouldn't prescribe medications to patients I don't see in clinic, but this guy looked miserable so I gave a script for a few pills.

I don't want to say that the Viagra made him a new person, but since that day Abu Khalil's wife had made me Tabboulleh and Kibbeh Nayyeh almost every week.
-------------------------------------------

My clinic was on Thursday. On Wednesday I got a message from the secretary, "Mr. Garcia has an appointment tomorrow morning. He is requesting Viagra or Cialis. He is hoping to have some free samples because his insurance wouldn't pay for it"

I went to the clinic Wednesday afternoon before it closed, checked our medication cabinet full of medication samples, and found 3 small boxes of Viagra.

I wasn't concerned these pills will go to other patients, because all patients that Wednesday were seen and Mr.Garcia was the first patient to be seen Thursday.

Thursday morning, I see Mr.Garcia early on. He requests the Viagra so I went to our medication cabinet.
I couldn't find the Viagra.
I asked Stephanie the nurse, "Did any patients come in yesterday after I left."
"No"
"But there were 3 Viagra boxes here yesterday, where did they go?"
"I don't know doctor."
"Was there anyone else in the clinic?"
"No, just me and the Debby at the front desk, and Dr. Greene"
"Dr. Greene?"
"Yes, he said he was finishing some paper work. He was still in clinic when Debby and I left"
Dr. Greene is a 60-something internist in the clinic. He's a difficult person, very unfriendly and somewhat arrogant.

I don't like to wrongfully accuse someone of stealing, but for the next couple of months Dr. Greene became one of the most pleasant people you can ever meet in your life.

Happy Birthday!

From the day you were born I knew you would make it. I was told you wouldn't, that you were too weak to survive, but here you are today stronger than ever. I did believe in you and here you are: you look so beautiful to me that every time I think of you I get elated. I pray for you, I have dedicated my life to you. Sometimes I feel like you're the reason for my existence and without you I would have thought of myself as a total loser.
Now that you're thriving I can live in peace knowing that you'll be OK. I have done everything for you to have a bright future and make sure that you'll never perish but rather will get stronger with time. You carry my legacy; you are me and all what I stand for.
Have a wonderful fifth birthday,
George W. Bush

Hillary Visiting

Last month, Hillary Clinton visisted our university. I went to the gym where she had a speech to a relatively small crowd of about a thousand people. There were more people standing outside than those who were inside. It was interesting to see some non-Arabs demonstrating against the Israeli aggressions against Palestinians.

Ten Things Every Jordanian Man Should Know Before Coming to USA

1- When you stop at a gas station for gas, don't expect an Egyptian guy to fill gas for you. You have to do it yourself.

2- You won't get rich just by coming to America. They don't have people at the airport handling you money as you step out of the plane.

3- It's rude to say the word "fuck" in each conversation you have. Also you should avoid saying the word "nigger". Some black people find it little offensive. Just because you hear these words on TV doesn't mean you can say them yourself.

4- Not all women are hookers. Not all women want to sleep with you.

5- You should never say that you hate animals. Even if you do you should never say it. People will think you're a moron if you do. Same thing applies to Jews, blacks, Mexicans, Asians, Indians, women, and gays.

6- Don't make fun of people's last names, or first names. And if your last name is a twenty-letter three-syllabus word don't get angry if Americans don't pronounce it correctly. There's a reason why most Arab Americans are nick-named Sam.

7- The way you get a driving ticket in the US is by a policeman driving behind your car and flashing his lights behind you. If this happens you should stop and stay in your car. Do not step down from your car and move towards the cop to convince him not to give you a ticket, you might get shot; i.e. killed.

8- Don't kiss men on their cheeks. Most men will not take that well, while a minority of them will kiss you back, but not on the cheek.

9- Always lie about your salary when you talk to people in Jordan. If you get 40,000 US dollars they'll assume you earn 40,000 JDs, and assume you don't pay taxes. They'll think you're damn rich.

10- If an ambulance or a fire truck are driving behind you with the sirens on, move out of their way. Do not try to race with them. Trust me on this :(

Some random piece of information

Among the children who have asthma in the US, 759 thousand do not have health insurance.

Murder

Working in the health field made me appreciate how easy it is for people die from one single mistake. I've seen it in Jordan, I've seen it in the US. It happens in the best hospitals in the world and by the most competent doctors that you can think of. There isn't a doctor, a nurse, or a pharmacist in the world who can say s/he have not committed at least ten big mistakes in their career.
If you haven't made mistakes, that means you haven't worked long enough.

Doctors realize that hospitals can be dangerous places. Patients get a lot of studies inside hospitals and these studies pose some risk. Getting a CT-scan can cause a permanent damage to your kidneys, starting any new drug can cause a countless number of serious side-effect, and having any kind of surgery places you at risk of developing a lot of complications involving every organ in your body. Doctors try not to make thing worse by being careful, patient, and meticulous. That sometimes doesn't work, especially if you're in your 30th hour of continuous work, being overwhelmed with the number of patients you have and the hundreds of numbers and results of the several patients you have on your service. Doctors do mistakes everyday, every hour, and they usually do not admit it.

However negligence is different. Negligence is when you stop caring, when a patient is just a number you're trying to get of. Many hospitals in Jordan are poorly-equipped, which is frustrating, and that does interfere with patient care. Often, the staff are unprofessional, and some lack the sufficient knowledge needed for medical or nursing practice. But it's not all that common to see mistakes arising from negligence. It does happen, but it's not that common, and it definitely does not reach the level of negligence that Prince Hamzah's Hospital has reached.

Ali al-Hafnawi might have died from natural causes. He might have died on the table of the radiology machine, but this might not be the case, and I don't know if anyone will be able to know because those who know will not speak up.
I can see it, the King will visit, things will get better for a while, then other tragedies will occur again a few months later. This is more than negligence.

The Sound of Death

Have you ever heard how death may sound like?

Here are some goosebumps-inducing clips of tragedies that have taken away plenty of human lives. No sound effects; all real. No stupid commentary.

Hiroshima


-----------------

The World Trade Center on 9/11


-----------------

The Space Shuttle Challenger.
The astronaut's families were watching it and cheering as it took off, until the disaster occurred. It was 1986.



----------------
In the Air
The following recording from the cockpit was recovered from the black box of a Tunisian airplane that crashed into the sea.


----------------

God bless

Is the world a better place than ever before?

We're living longer, but are we living better?

Your input.......

the Israelification of the Clintons

In her recent debate in Austin, Texas two weeks ago, Hillary Clinton suggested that not supporting Israel is a form on anti-Semitism.

We've heard that before from different important officials in the US.

It's a known fact that all American presidents have supported Israel and its right to exist. Not doing so would lead to the demise of the future of any US politician.

But I've never heard before (and correct me if I'm wrong) and American president stating that criticizing Israel is a form of racism.

That comes in addition to her other positions in support of Israel (which, except for what I've mentioned above, are not much different than Obama's , Mccain's or Huckabbee's)

Here's she's condemning rocket attacks without condemning Israelis, then calling for the release of the kidnapped Israeli soldiers without mentioning the Palestinian prisoners in Israel's prisons.

then she expresses her disappointment because the Palestinian textbooks do not contain any pro-Israeli material (wonder why, maybe because half of the Palestinians students had some family being killed or having their legs amputated by Israeli forces).

Again, she calls for international help from the Red Cross for the kidnapped Israeli soldiers, ignoring the attacks Israel had on ambulances carrying wounded Palestinian civilians to hospitals.

It's great to have a woman become a president, but a total bitch? not sure.

Medical Information on Wikipedia

Rubbish. Loads of crap. Some of it is true, but a lot of it is absolute trash. Do not trust everything you read on it. To know something it's better to check reliable resources, or do it the old-fashioned way; ask a doctor.

Bedko Nokteh ?

A doctor and a lawyer were talking at a party.

Their conversation was constantly interrupted by people describing their ailments and asking the doctor for free medical advice.
After an hour of this, the exasperated doctor asked the lawyer, "What do you do to stop people from asking you for legal advice when you're out of the office?"
"I give it to them," replied the lawyer, "and then I send them a bill."
The doctor was shocked, but agreed to give it a try.
The next day, still feeling slightly guilty, the doctor prepared the bills. When he went to place them in his mailbox, he found a bill from the lawyer.

Is Jordan Really Persecuting Christians?

So it sounds like some foreign Chrisitan organizations were extremely disappointed because some of its members were expelled from the country for their missionary roles inside the country.

In many parts of the previous report and this one, there is a suggestion that any citizen involved in evangelism was deported.

Regarding the role of Missionaries, I respect the intent of many of them to help the poor and to do their best in trying to spread the word. I even oppose a part of the Jordanian law that makes it impossible for anyone to convert to Chrisitianity. Having said that, if the Jordanian government did really expell some evangelical missionaries outside Jordan, I'm a 100% supporter of that.

There is more than one reason to question the motives and the roles of some of these missionaries. The ties of several evangelical organizations to Israel is a good enough reason for them not to stay in Jordan. Their blind support to the very arrogant, war-loving, right wing Republicans in the White House makes every Arab, including Arab Chrisitans, uncomfortable to say the least. There were several reports of missionaries in Iraq following the very unChrisitan invasion of Iraq, a war that resulted in the death of more than 100,000 soles. Do you expect Arabs to greet these missionaries with flowers or with the perception that they are part of the new occupation that everyone is opposing?

I get really annoyed when some Chrisitians assume superiority to other Chrisitians in other locations in the world just because we are part of the developing world, or because the majority of the population we live with is non-Chrisitan. I can smell that in many places I go to and in many sermons I listen to on TV or in real life. Has anyone forgotten that Christianity was born in the Middle East? That Aramic, the language of Jesus, is only spoken now in Syria and Iraq?

I'm a Jordanian, I'm a Chrisitan and I'm proud of both. There are thousands of Jordanian Muslims (and Chrisitians) who fought and died to protect me and ensure I live in a safe country. I practise my religion safely and I do not wish for anyone to protect me. We've existed long enough to know what endangers our religion. We live in an area and in a time when everybody is sensitive to anything and having individuals who are poorly-informed of the region and its history come in and assume they're living in a perfect world where everyone is free to do whatever s/he wants will not help.

Besides, Jesus himself was arrested, tortured and crucified and did not complain. Many of his disciples suffered while preaching his words, and they did not complain. Instead, they were grateful. They rejoiced their death. Why are these missionaries protesting when they haven't experienced even 1% of the persecution that Jesus and the disciples suffered from?

Hareega

1500000000

1.5 billion dinars will be spent on building new governmental offices in Southern Amman, according to Al-Rai.

I remember a few years back we were talking about an e government!
What happened folks?

The Sixth Things Tag

I was asked by LuLu about six things a guy should do before the age of 18.
Here they are. Listen to the word:

1- Pick up a kid in your class with low self-esteem and beat the shit out of him everyday. I did the mistake of respecting everyone in my class in order to be respected. I totally regret this now. There is no better feeling in the world than coming to school and kicking the very same ass every single morning without suffering any consequences. Get it out from your system when you're young before it starts growing with you. Don't worry about the kid; he'll get over it.

2- Have a lot of girlfriends but never fall in love. Nothing is worse than having a broken heart. Girls are bitches, all of them.
(P.S. to feminisits: Whatever is written in Hareega's blog does not necessarily reflect his opinion. To everyone else: Yes it does)

3- You should get drunk at least once, in order to know what are the true effects of alcohol and if you do, lucky you.. you little drunko.

4- Just being the captain of the football team doesn't mean you'll have a birght future. In about ten years you'll be begging for a job at a company owned by the unskilled kid you always kept as a substitute. The girlfriend you have now will be sleeping with him. So, be nice to your team mates.

5- Grab all your naked pictures when you were a kid and burn them unless, you know, there's something in the picture that can make you , uhm, proud... very very proud.

6- Learn to speak one language. Arabic or English is fine. But don't end up trying to speak both because you won't. I mean you can't, couldn't, you know... ma btegdar, abtegdarish... ma btegdarish.

Young boys, I hope you'll learn from my wisdom. Spread the word.
Hareega

Laundry in the Time of Cholera

I decided to do laundry.

I picked all the pieces of clothes from the floor and squeezed them into my very large laundry bag, put it in my car and took a journey to the laundry room, ten meters away from my apartment.

The room looked like the one above. I poured the soap then threw the clothes inside the laundry machines.

I noticed that the third machine wasn't as full with clothes as the first two, so I decided to transfer some clothes from the first machine to the third one, in order to maintain a balance

What's the most precious piece of cloth any man can have? Good guess, it's the Kalsoon. I decided to move a couple of Kalaseen from one machine to another.

Everytime I wash a kalsoon, it comes out from the machine with a different color. So I ended up having kalaseen with some of the most charming colors, colors you don't see except maybe when you're watching some exotic animals on National Geographic. I have Kalaseen with colors that, other than me, only transexuals and super-gays dare to wear.

I always hope for these colorful garments to distract the attention of the occasional reader in the library who usually screams whenever seeing my gigantic butt cleaveage popping out in his face as I sit down and try to enjoy a quiet read, but that hasn't worked well so far. The words "Shu hal teez ya ghaleez" still resonate in my head from several previous events that could never abandon my memory.

I grabbed those couple of Kalaseen and was about to throw them in the third machine, when I heard the door open and I saw Ryan, the apartment manager, enter the laundry room with a nice young couple. It looked like he was showing them around the complex trying to convince them to rent an apartment there, same thing that bastard did to me before I moved in.

I should have dropped the kalaseen immediately. Instead, I turned my head to Ryan's direction and, holding each kalsoon in my arm, smiled at the horrified couple saying,"Hi guuuuuys, welcome"

Ryan, the previously very pleasant guy, did not say anything. The couple remained quiet, but I cared less and dropped the kalaseen and turned on the machine, while thinking of the ways Ryan will make it harder for me to stay at his complex.

Only in Arizona

You know how in a small grocery shop you'll find small things to buy by the cashier, like gum or mint or pens.
Sometimes it's a little different

I was driving back from Vegas and stopped by Kingman, a small city in Arizona on my way back to Tucson. By the cashier I found these!!

Rattle snake eggs in small envelopes, $ 1.79 for each envelope.

.... and a scorpion

I now regret killing that lizard in my apartment last year. I could have made a fortune.

Red

Happy Valentine!

Guess the Couple

I'm posting this to all the ugly people out there, a message of encouragement:

No matter how ugly you look now, you may look better when you grow up. You may even become more famous and successful.

The Egyptian Zizou

Mohammad Zidane, or as I like to call him the Egyptian Zizou (so all rights reserved for Hareega-2008) lead Egypt to their 6th African Nations Cup Championship.

Look how the Egyptian Zizou was fighting like a lion for this ball with the Cameronians, took control of it and gave the golden pass to Abu Traikah who thundered Kameni's net with thi shot.

Really, like a lion. Look at him in the replay... a lion.
This moment of gold is for memory.

Bitchin'

I was on-call for the heart team one Saturday night, all by myself.

Our hospital is one of the top 20 hospitals in the US in heart disease, and they left me, someone who has very little interest in heart disease, to do calls by myself that night as well as 7 other night that month.

I didn't know whether it was a football game, or a crash in the stock market or another speech by Bush, but we had a lot of people coming in with heart attacks.

All patients did well, except for one who came in unconscious and we sent him to the ICU. He was on plenty of medications and it didn't look good for the old fellow.

I was there at 3 am when I asked his nurse to draw a blood test .

She came back with the result.

I wanted to ask about the pH. The pH is a reflection of how much acid there is in the blood, which is a bad sign.

I don't know if this happens to you, but whenver I am really really tired and stressed out, my accent suddenly thickens out and my English becomes a bit difficult to undertsand. I never had a problem with "P" and "B" , but I don't know what happened that night.

"What's the bicarb?" I asked
"12"
"Ah, 12! That's too low!"
then I wanted to ask what the P-H was. The P-H.
"How about a PH?"
I think the (previously) nice black nurse heard something else.

"What did you say?" she asked, and she looked furious.
I was thinking to myself what made her angry.

She looked at me really mad, and said, "I'm asking (aksing) you, what did you say?"

I couldn't answer and was wondering what the hell did I say, I only remember asking about the P-H.

She went ,"Did you just call me a Biaaatch?"
As I kept silent, she got became more furious, "You're calling me a biaaatch, ha?"

"No I said P-H"!
"you're saying it again, you're calling me a Biaatch!"
"No,No, No!"

The last thing a doctor should do is make a nurse angry. If you did, all the nurses in the hospital will hate you and make your life miserable. I was ready to kneel on my knees and kiss each of her feet separately.


Then another nurse, at the end of the hallway who was never even close to us came by and whispered in her ears that was well-heard, "honey I heard him, I think he called you a bitch".


The patient inside looked very critical so I had to go inside and try to keep him alive. I didn't hear from that nurse or anyone else since then and it's been more than 2 years now, the time limit during which she can complain for sexual harrasment has passed, yahoooo!

I just learned that when you think your night is not going well, it can get much worse. Also, you should work on your Ps and Bs you pastards.

The US Elections from Hareega's Persepctive

To those who were fortunate enough to miss what's been happening in the US elections so far, it's the semi-finals. There are two Republicans (Mitt Romney and John Mccain) and two Democrates (Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton) left who might become the next president of the United States. There are a few others left in the race (Ron Paul, Huckabee, Gravel) and possibly an independent (Bloomberg) but they have no reasonable chance of winning.

To start with, I'm not American, probably I'll never become one, but I enjoyed watching the race so far. It tells you much about this country and the people.

In 2004, my first year in the US, I used to spend 10-15 minutes each morning at work in October and November engaging myself in very loud and angry arguments with Nick, my good friend who was very liberal but decided to vote for Bush because he believed he was a "real cowboy" who can protect America. Later, I've realized that Americans don't like to talk much about politics at work for many good reasons, so thank God for internet. I started asking myself some questions and here I am thinking to myself about which presidential candidate has the best chance of winning the nomination of his/her party and who can win the presidential elections in November ?

1- Who will win among democrates, Obama or Hillary?
One thing democrates can be very proud of, never have a woman or an African American become so close to becoming a president and it's them who can the credit for that.
Obama has the momentum, but to win the nomination of the party you need to win the big states, and Hillary won Florida and has a very good chance of winning Michigan and California. She also has a better chance of winning more states than Obama in the next Super Tuesday on Feb 5th and she will probably emerge a winner.

Obama is black, and some people will be hesitant, to say the least, before voting for a black candidate. They're not the KKK, they might not even have a problem with African Americans or other minorities in general, but they might have a problem in having a black person becoming their president. Obama has won two states so far, Iowa and South Carolina. One might argue that Iowa is an all-white state, but in some all-white states like Iowa and New Hampshire, there is little racism directed against African Americans. Residents of these states have no black neighborhoods, no crimes committed by black people, no black gangs; basically African Americans have never caused problems so they have nothing against them.
Looking at South Carolina, Obama won very big, with 55% of votes vs. 27% for Hillary. However, Obama won only 22% of the white votes there, and the rest were votes from the black community or other minorities. That makes me think that he his chance is not as good as Hillary's next Tuesday were many states oting do not have many African Americans.

I have a feeling that even if Hillary did better on Tuesday, her victory will not be that remarkable, and given all the energy that Obama and his supporters have, he will not withdraw from the race and the decision on who will run from the party might be taken in a smoked-filled room shortly before the election.

2- Who will run for Republicans, Mccaine or Romeny?
Mccaine. He got endorsements from the people who matter. If Hucakbee the conservative withdraws from the race before Tuesday, Romney's chances will increase. Doesn't look like it's happening.

3- Who will become the next American President?

Like most elections people will not be very satisfied on the final two (maybe three) candidates. There is an outrageous rage among Reublicans that John Mccain might become the Republican nominee. He is too liberal for them, he doesn't want to kick all 12 million illegal immigrants outside the US, and he opposes torture (what a moron!), maybe because he is the only candidate who has been tortured in the past. Ann Coulter, a very devout and crazy conservative described by many liberals as a total bitch, said she would campaign for Hillary Clinton if the final race was between Clinton and Mccain. Despite his apology years later, many right-wing Chrisitians can never forget Mccain calling some of their religious leaders "evil" and that "there will be a special place in hell for them" after the very ugly campaign against him in South Carolina in the 2000 presidential race.

One thing is clear about both Mccain and Romney, none of them is a "uniter" and none of them can claim he is. After Bush claimed he was one, Americans stopped buying it, at least from Reoublicans. Obama is more believable and Hillary doesn't usually mention that she will be one.

Another thing that is also evident, more American hate Republicans than ever before and Republicans do not seem to know it. They're angry about Bush, about the economy, Katrina, and so much about the war. What can really bring Mccain down is saying, "We will stay in Iraq for a hundred years if we have to. We want to be victorious". Most Americans, including a large number of soldiers and their families, hate this war and do not want to stay there. The meaning of victory is not very clear to them anymore, and they're not sure if it's worth sacrificing anything to stay there.
There are more young voters heading towards voting booths, and the vast majority of them vote for democrates. Even Caroline Kennedy herself endorsed Obama, saying that he reminds her of her father, only after her children started talking to her about Oabama and his positions.

It doesn't look good for Republicans, and I think that's good for America, at least for now.

This afternoon Hillary will be giving a speech at our university. I'm pretty sure the hall will be packed, but it might be my only chance to ever see someone who might become the next American president.

Back to the Future

One day, I will be sitting with my kids, and will tell them, "I lived in a time when a gas cylinder would cost 1.5 JDs"

They will look at me in awe, and stop breathing for a second, then whisper to each other ,"Dad is too old".

The new price for a gas cylinder as of April1st..... ten fucking JD.

My heart will go on

I was reading through the most prestigious medical journal, the New England Journal of Medicine, to see what's new in the world of medicine.

I came across this study, "Cardiovascular Events during World Cup Soccer"

This well-designed study showed that the incidence of heart attacks increased during the 2006 World Cup and was highest during the most competitive games that Germany (host country) participated in.

That spike numbered 5 is inreference to Germany's game against Argentina that ended up in penalty shoot-outs, and you can tell the incidence of heart problems (on the Y-axis) being very high that day.
I bet you I had an abnormal EKG during the entire 120 minutes of that game.

Man, medicine and football combined, that is orgasmic.

George vs. George and a World Without Islam

I was reading an article in Foreign Policy magazine titled "A World Without Islam". Graham Fuller, who used to work for the CIA, describes how the Middle East would have turned out to be if Islam have never existed, if no Prophet Muhammad was born, if Quran have not been there, and if more than one billion people who are Muslims now would have been followers of other religions.

Fuller does a good job in trying to figure out how history would have been shaped. After a few pages of interesting and thought-provocative read, he comes up with a conclusion: the world would have witnessed, more or less, the same conflicts that are present this day. Middle Easterns, whether Muslims or not, would have resisted the crusades and the invasions by the Western civilisation. I will not write in details how he reached this conclusion, but he gave plenty of examples of how many conflicts this day could have occured, and might have even been worse even if Islam was not present. He described how most major tragedies were not caused by Muslims.

Yesterday George Habash died. I may not agree with all what he have done in his life, but I'm pretty sure a time will come when I will miss him. Arabs will miss him, Palestinians will miss him. He dedicated his life to fighting the Israeli occupation and resisting the injustice that have encouraged by the West. Another George is the biggest supporter of this kind of injustice. He lead a war that killed more than 100,000 people and yet kneels on his knees every Sunday and claims Jesus tells him what to do.

I hope we can reach a moment of maturity where we realize that it's not your religion that makes you good or evil. I really hope people will start believing in this fact just like they believe in God. Religion is a powerful tool that can make anything you do or say, whether "good" or "evil", more powerful.
I hope you'll believe.

Once Upon a Time

It's happening again

Doctors in Gaza decided to stop doing surgeries for their patients, because the electricity generated by the main hospital's generator is so scant that it can only run the ventilator machines in intensive care units.

These generators do not last forever, and in less than 24 hours they will shut down.

Another crime committed by Isarel, the country that attacks ambulances, bombs schools and destroys houses on its inhabitants without a warning.

Israel was founded by offending the right of others, killing the innocent, and with blood on its hands. It would be naive to believe that it would behave differently in order to defend itself.

الأردن.... يلعن أبوك إذا حبيته ويلعن أبوك إذا ما حبيته

محبة الأردن ظاهرة تستحق الدراسة. أحياناً بتهيأيلي أنو في منافسة على الوطنية وهاي مش مشكلة فالانتماء للوطن أمر مطلوب لكن يبدو أن الانتماء للأردن أصبح يقاس بمعايير بحطها ناس ما في وراهم شغلة إلا الصراخ ليلا نهاراً أنهم للوطن ومن الوطن.

.

أحد أهم المعايير المستخدمة حالياً هو الأصل فإن كنت من أصل فلسطيني فمقياس وطنيتك ينحدر بشدة حتى لو عبرت عكس ذلك، أما لهجتك المستعملة فتلعب دوراً إضافياً فكلما اشتدت حدة لهجتك وعبرت عن بعض الغضب في أي موضوع يطرح فمقياس وطنيتك يزداد، أما إذا تجرأت وقلت أن النظام العشائري نظام رجعي عندها ستدخل في خانة المغضوب عليهم.

.

قد نكون البلد الوحيد في العالم الذي يخصص لجاناً ويقيم حملات وطنية يصرف فيها أموال الشعب من أجل إقناع هذا الشعب نفسه أن يحب الوطن. طيب يا أخي وحياة الله إني بحب الأردن وحتى في أميركا بدافع عن سمعته وإذا طلعلنا واحد أردني فظيحة باميركا بحكيلهم هادا مش أردني بس ما بدي مصاري الشعب تنصرف لتعبي جيوب شركات الاعلانات أو لتنصرف معاشات لمجموعة من نواب معظمهم فاسد نسي أهله ولم يوصله للقبة إلا العشائرية والقبلية

.

بعض الفلسفجية أيضاً يعتقدون أن تأييد الحكومة ينبع من الوطنية، شوف أنا بصراحة مش محلل سياسي لكن بقدر أقلك بصراحة إنك إذا كنت فعلا حريص عالاردن ففي كثير حكومات كان لازم تعارضها

مجموعة الفلسفجية أيضاً استنتجت أن مقياس وطنيتك يعتمد على مقدار حبك للنادي الفيصلي وبغضك للوحدات، وكأن الوحدات يمثل عدواً استراتيجياً لمصلحة الوطن

.
باتر وردم نبه لظاهرة جديدة نسبياً ربما لم ينتبه لها الكثيرون وهي أن الاجيال الجديدة من الاردنيين الشراكس بدأوا ينعزلون عن الحياة السياسية والاجتماعية في الاردن وازدادوا انغلاقاً على أنفسهم وما ألاحظه أنه ليس وحدهم الشركس الذين رغم حبهم وانتمائهم للأردن الذي لم يعيشوا في وطن غيره لكن شريحة كبيرة من الأردنيين بدأت تعزل بأنفسها عن شعارات تبدو وطنية في الظاهر لكنها معبأة بالحقد والعنصرية لدرجة كبيرة لم نعتد عليها في السابق

The Silent Weapon

Pictures from the oil crisis in 1973

"I waited for five and a half hours. FIVE and a HALF f**-ing hours, then they told me I can only have 3 gallons!"

Bob, the car salesman, looked pretty tense. He wasn't talking about the lack of oil in a 3rd world country, he was talking about the US 35 years ago during the oil crisis. "They didn't have enough for everyone!". Even after all this time, he had a tone of disbelief in his voice.

In 1973 Arab countries decided to stop selling oil to the US and Western Europe as a protest for their support of Israel. The price of oil doubled, and the economy of the strongest country in the world was in jeopardy. For some rare moment in history, Arabs used non-violence as a way to show that they are still in the game. The oil crisis was over in 1974, and since then the American and European support for Israel has been unapologetically enormous.

There were Republican primary elections in Michigan today. It's the state with the highest number of Arab Americans in the US. Nobody on news channels mentioned us, except for a 5-minute report on CNN Monday afternoon. The time that CNN allocated for Britney Spears' underwear was at least 100 times more than the time spent casting light on the opinions of Arab Americans in the coming elections (I'm dead serious). Only one candidate, a democrat called Dennis Kucinich, approached Arab Americans last year. He didn't even mention he would support them; he just recognized their existence.

Every time Barack Obama is asked whether or not he's Muslim he denies this "accusation" as if he would automatically be considered a terrorism supporter. Analysts believe that because 8% of Americans think he's Muslim his chances of winning the nominations are seriously hurt.

Meanwhile, any presidential candidate like Kucinich can kiss his hopes good-bye if he did not show a blind support for Israel and its right to exist, and its right to "defend itself" whatever that means. For a fact, the number of American Jews is not larger, and might as well be less than that of Arab Americans.

I don't want Arabs to cut oil again from any country, but I want them to be able to. I want them to have the option. Nobody died from oil crisis in 1973, but huge numbers of innocent Palestinians have died because of the US and European support of Israel.

We don't need lunatics to run planes into buildings and terrorize people. We can have the most successful resistance without shooting a bullet. We can do it the very calm way, the same way others are using to deny us the right to our own existence.

What's in your right hand, Mrs. Williamson?

Click on the picture to enlarge

Popular Songs and Stories and More

Every song was inspired by a person, a story or an event.
Here are some songs that I found were somewhat different. Whatever was the reason for the birth of these songs was someone or something quite interesting, unusual, or tragic!

1- American Pie.
Buddy Holly, Ritchie Valens, and J. P. Richardson were pioneers in rock and roll in the 1950s. They were flying together in a tour and their plane crashed, killing all three men. Don McLean called February 3rd, 1959 "The Day the Music Died" and 12 years later came up with "American Pie"

But February made me shiver
With every paper I’d deliver
Bad news on the doorstep
I couldn’t take one more step....



2- The Way.
Real story: An elderly couple decided to leave everything behind them and travel together like crazy teenagers. They have disappeared,lost touch with the world, and none of their friends or family could find them. Fastball made a song out of it, and guess what? It was a number ONE hit in 1998.

They made up their minds
And they started packing
They left before the sun came up that day
An exit to eternal summer slacking
But where were they going
Without ever knowing the way?





3- Tears in Heaven.
Eric Clapton was a rock singer. In 1991, his 4-year old son fell down from the 53rd floor of a building in New York and died. Eric was shocked by the incident but was able to make a song out of it: Tears in Heaven. A decade later he decided to stop playing the song.

Would you know my name
If I saw you in heaven
Will it be the same
If I saw you in heaven
I must be strong, and carry on
Cause I know I don't belong
Here in Heaven






4- Hey There Delilah

A guy meets a girl who happens to be a runner, and asks her out, she was already in a relationship so she turned him down. He made up a song to express how much he loved her. Watch the Olympic Games this summer, you might see Delilah DiCrescenzo running in the 800-meter competitions. A love song not inspired by a love story.

5- Billie Jean

In the early 1980s, a woman claimed that Michael Jackson was the father of her child, and her husband. Her name was Billie Jean. She called herself "Billie Jean Jackson". Investigations showed that she was mentally disturbed and lying, but Jackson made one of the most successful songs in modern music history out of this story, and named it "Billi Jean" in a honor of the crazy woman.

Billie Jean is not my lover

She's just a girl who claims that I am the one

But the kid is not my son

She says I am the one, but the kid is not my son

6- How to Save a Life

This young man was working as a mentor for troubled teenagers. One of them had a behavioral problem that could not be solved by his family members and therapists. This inspired the young man from the Fray to come up with "How To Save a Life"

Step one you say we need to talk

He walks you say sit down it's just a talk

He smiles politely back at you

You stare politely right on through

Some sort of window to your right

As he goes left and you stay right

Between the lines of fear and blame

And you begin to wonder why you came......

-----------------------------------

Hope you liked it,
Fares

Preferences

Obama over Edwards, Edwards over Mccain, Mccain over Ron Paul, Paul over Hillary, Hillary over Huckabee, Huckabee over Thomspson, Thompson over the devil, the devil over Guiliani.

In other words.... The black dude over the Southern meterosexual, over the demented Arizonan, over the delerious gynecologist, over the bitch, over the self-proclaimed son of God, over the cold failing actor, over Satan, over the cross-dresser son of a bitch.

I hope you enjoyed reading my political analysis.

The Scream of Silence

This young guy comes to the emergency room.
Problem: a small mass on his butt.

The emergency room doctor feels like there's a big infection and decides to keep him in the hospital. The young patient gets a surgery for his back, and a huge 30-cm cancer is found stuck to his muscles and bones.
Further tests show that this is an aggressive cancer that has spread to his liver and lungs as well.

Tom has been in the hospital for 3 months now, and had a major surgery to remove the tumor in hope of prolonging his life a few more months. He now has a very large scar on his buttocks and thighs. He hasn't walked or even sat in his bed in three months.

He is 36, but now looks double his age.

I have seen many depressed people. I've met some people who tried to kill themselves because of depression. I had a patient who once tried to slash his wrists inside the hospital. But I've never met a person with this kind of depression that this guy has.

Tom stopped talking. He barely says anything now. His brain, vocal cords, mouth and tongue are (still) working, but he's not talking. I asked him how was his day going, did he have any pain, did he feel like crap, and he kept silent.

I've never seen anyone so depressed, so defeated, and so broken like him.

Eventually, we told him there was no chance for him to be cured, and we'd prefer him to receive comfort care at home where he can be pain-free and more comfortable. He said a few words, "I don't want to". He wanted to stay in the hospital and live the illusion that one day he might get better, but the end is very close and we all know it. I know that he'll die in pain, and that he'll die silent, very very silent.

Silence was his language. It was his voice and his way of communication. It could have been the source of his strength or the expression of his defeat, or maybe both. I would never know, and I would never ask him because he'd answer me with a long pause that will make me ashamed of myself.
I've just learned that silence can be the most powerful scream.

Football in 2007

Didn't have time to post it in 2007, so here it is.
MOMNETS of 2007

Best Team:

IRAQ
They challenged everything including themselves and, against all expectations, won Asia's Cup. The victory was big, big, big.
Here's Iraq's winning goal against KSA in the final:


Second comes AC Milan, who won the Champions League and FIFA's Club World Cup. They're performing quite horribly in the Serie A now.
-----------------

Best Goal:
Are you kidding me?? It's Lionel Messi's against Getafe. I don't think I'll be around at the end of the century but I'm sure someone will pickup this goal and say "this should be the goal of the century"



----------------

Worst Fight:
The Inter-Valencia fight in Champions League. Very uncivilized. Also Burdisso's nose was broken.



--------------

Worst Transfer Deal:

David Beckham's transfer to LA Galaxy for 250 million dollars. He was injured throughout most of the season.

--------------

Saddest moment: The shocking deaths of Antonio Puerta (Spain),23, and Phil O'Donnell (Scotland), 35, on the pitch while they were playing for their teams.
--------------

Shocker of the year:
England failing to qualify for 2008 European Championship

Here's the final whistle from their last game at home against Croatia 2-3.

----------------

Reality

People say "hope you'll have a great wonderful new year"

I'd like to wish everyone a satisfactory new year,

an acceptable new year, without any mega-disasters

Santa Closed

Date: Today, Christmas Day.

Place: IHOP Restaurant.

Reason to go there: the only open place that sells food.

Place's capacity: 150

Number of people present: more than 150.

Nationality of people present: 90% Mexican, 10% Mexican-American.

Hareega's order: meat omlette to-go.

Time to get that order: 50 minutes.

I was sitting on the sofa waiting for my omlette, and as time passed the restaurant quickly started to empty up. The last couple next to me were delighted when the cute latina waitress told them, "Your table is ready , follow me pliss, taank you"

Nobody was waiting but me, and next to me sat Santa.

I Couldn't help but notice his wrinkled skin behind the fake moustache.

He looked at a waitress standing behind the cash, "Leslie, can I leave now?"
"No, you have to stay for 40 more minutes"
"But I wanna see my granddaughter before she leaves"

She didn't answer but grabbed a menu and faked a wide smile at the new customers arriving at the restaurant that moment.

A little kid then came rushing from a table and went towards Santa grabbing his pants,
"Quiero tomar un foto con Santa"- I wanna take a photo with Santa

Santa, exhausted, took good ten seconds before he stood up up and looked at the camera to have his photo taken with the happy kid.

Santa then sat down and started looking anxiously at the clock.
I told him, "You know something, you're the first Santa I see this Christmas!"

He looked at me and didn't answer, didn't even nod his head.... totally ignored me.

He stood up and started walking towards the empty space outside. It was pretty clear he was limping, couldn't tell if he was faking a Santa limp or if it was real.

He returned in five minutes and saw that I was sitting there. He asked, "How's your Christmas?"

"It's alright, yours?"

Again, he turned his head away and totally ignored me. I was hoping he'd treat me like a little kid and ring his bell at my face or throw some candy at me, but he remained silent.

Forty minutes passed and I finally got my omelette. Santa went to the cashier and gave her his small bag of candies and for some reason didn't take off his moustaches or beard, maybe because it would protect his frail body from the cold weather outside or maybe because he liked this new person he's hiding behind, one that people cheer to see and kids love to take pictures with.

--------------------------------------------------
By the way, Merry Christmas everyone :)

The right to exist

I believe in human rights...
You have the right to education, health care, and the right to vote.
I will add another right: the right to exist.
This is a right you're given retrospectively, meaning I believe that you had the right to exist after you've already existed.

However if you're over 12 and you're someone who sends e-mails/letters/funwall posts thinking that you'll be rewarded or punished based on forwarding these messages, you're someone who should not have existed.

If it was to me, I would have denied your right to exist.

Have a great holiday

Just a dream....

Some people are not enjoying the holidays this time of the year, and they have a good reason not to....

Oh, life is bigger

It's bigger than you

And you are not me

The lengths that I will go to

The distance in your eyes

Oh no, I've said too much

I set it up ...

That's me in the corner

That's me in the spotlight,

I'm Losing my religion

Trying to keep up with you

And I don't know if I can do it

Oh no, I've said too much

I haven't said enough ...

I thought that I heard you laughing

I thought that I heard you sing

I think I thought I saw you try.....

But that was just a dream

Try, cry, why try?

That was just a dream

Just a dream, just a dream.... Dream

I said Uh... Silent Night....

Holy Night!!!

The Journey

People know that it takes a long time for a doctor to graduate, but they don't know about the whole process. I'll give you a brief description of how a clueless high school graduate ends up a doctor.

After high school, the lucky (or unlucky) ones get into medical school. In Jordan it's six years. The first year is "the general sciences" with chemistry, physics and biology. Years 2 and 3 include medical sciences with no clinical experience. During years 4,5,6 students rotate through different clinical rotations in clinical settings, and they sit for exams at the end of the year. It's during these years that a student decides on the speciality s/he's interested in.

In the US it's a bit different. Students do not go directly into medical school but they have to get a degree first in something like chemistry, biology, economics...etc and they spend as long as it takes to finish these studies before doing the MCAT exams. If they did well in college and scored well on the MCAT, they get an acceptance into medical school.
That's why thousnads of Jordanian high school graduates have joined the AUB to study medicine but those who actually graduated from its medical school are fewer than 50.

After graduation from medical school, these "doctors" are still not allowed to practise medicine in the US, while in Jordan they're allowed to open their private clinics or join the hospital of their choice under the title "general practitioner".

In the US, they have to go through residency. There are dozens of specialities. Residencies last between 3 to 7 years. Residents start as interns, then they progress to more senior residents. Residents in general do the most work and they are supervised by an attending physician (specialist). The most senior residents are almost completely independent and comfortable working without supervision , however they cannot get patients in or out of the hospital or make major decisions without their attending physician's approval, and they need to give him a daily update on the patient and discuss the treatment plan with them.

The residency system is not much different between Jordan and the US, and at the end doctors can practise on their own or choose to do something called "fellowship", or a sub-speciality. For example a doctor who specialized (did residency in internal medicine) can choose to to become an internist or do a sub speciality in lung or heart or kidney disease. A surgeon can choose to stay a general surgeon or specialize in heart surgery and so on.

In general people who decide to do fellowships spend extra years but at the end become the experts in a certain area they truly enjoy doing, and earn more money. In Jordan fellowships have very recently started to emerge but they were nonexistent when I left Jordan in 2004.

That is a very general idea on how it works.

I joined medical school in 1996, finished residency in 2002, did a year of "imtiaz" that was a total waster of time, started residency in internal medicine in 2004, finished residency in 2007, and started the fellowship in infectious diseases last July. I will be done with fellowship in June 2009. Although I currently have my own patients in the clinic that I follow, and I make most decisions on the ill patients I see in the hospital, I am still always under the supervision of a specialist and I can't even leave a note on a patient without his signature on it.

I started in 1996, will be done in 2009 !!

I was 16 that time, will be 29 when I'm done
..... 13 years
totally worth it.

Ho Ho Ho!

I got a call from a psychiatrist.

He goes, "Are you with infectious diseases?"
"Yes"
"I want to consult you about this lady, 30 yr old with psychosis. She's hallucinating ....etc"
"Ok what's the infectious problem?"
"She tested positive for syphilis, I don't know if it's the cause of her psychosis"
"OK I'll come and see her in a little bit"
"She's at risk of having syphilis"
"Why is that?", I asked
"Well, she's a professional sex worker"
"What?"
"A professional sex worker"

I started wondering what a professional sex worker exactly meant.
"What kind of job does she have ?", I asked
"She's a professional sex work... has sex for money"
"Oh....."
"Yeah!"
"A prostitute?"
"Yeah..... Yeah....."
"Ok thanks."

It's amazing how the political correctness in the US has now affected the world's oldest profession.
I wonder if we're going to start to call alcoholics "booze admirers" , intravenous drug users "needle lovers", and murderers "end-of-life fans".

And no religion too?

A lot of people were murdered, slaughtered, and tortured in His name, in the name of God, in the name of religion.

Do you think the world would have been a better place without religion? If Moses, Muhammad, Jesus, Budha and the rest didn't come to the world, wouldn't have people made their own prophets and fought over them?

Give me your 2 cents

The best ten non-Arabic non-English songs

Here's a random list of songs that I think are the best ten songs sun in languages other than Arabic or English. I almost can't understand any word other than amour. The choruses are in italic.
Enjoy.....


1- Sono l'italiano !
A great song by Toto Cotungo

Lasciatemi cantare con la chitarra in mano
Lasciatemi cantare una canzone piano piano
Lasciatemi cantare, perché ne sono fiero.
Sono un Italiano, un Italiano vero




2- The blind man makes you see magic.
Andrea Bocielli singing Vivo per lei with Helene Segara. She sings in French.


Vivo per lei da quando sai
la prima volta l'ho incontrata
non mi ricordo come ma
mi è entrata dentro e c'è restata
Vivo per lei perché mi fa
vibrare forte l'anima
vivo per lei e non è un peso



3- Lambada!
Always reminds of a stupid juice commerical, but the song is great.

A recordacao vai estar com ele aonde for
A recordacao vai estar pra sempre aonde for



4- El Comanadnate.....
Hasta Siempre, a very old song for the memory of Che Guevara. I love Nathalie Cardone's version the most.

Aquí se queda la clara,
La entrañable transparencia
De tu querida presencia,
Comandante Ché Guevara.




5- Nocturne.
Magestic music. This song of few words won Norway the Eurovision song contest in 1995

La dagen f
Sin hvile n
Og natten vil vke for den
Nocturne



6- Aicha.... Aicha
by Khalid.

Aïcha, Aïcha écoute moi,
Aïcha, Aïcha t'en vas pas
Aïcha,Aïcha regarde moi,
Aïcha, Aïcha réponds-moi



7- Para bailar la bamba.
Los lobos's greatest work.



8- Macarena!
This should be the world's eighth wonder, it made Al Gore dance!
Unofrtunately, couldn't find the Spanish verison on youtube, here's a semi-Spanish one.

Dale a tu cuerpo alegria Macarena
Que tu cuerpo es pa' darle alegria y cosa buena
Dale a tu cuerpo alegria, Macarena
Heeeeey Macarena


9- La Copa de la Vida
This was the official song of the 1998 Mundial. Good job Ricky

Tu y yo! Ale ale ale
Go, go, gol! Ale ale ale
Arriba va! El mundo esta de pie
Go, go, gol! Ale ale ale



10- Voice from the skies
Bocielli again, with con te partiro...

Con te partiro
Paesi che non ho mai
Veduto e vissuto con te
Adesso si li vivr?
Con te partiro
Su navi per mari
Che io lo so
No no non esistono pi?
Con te io li rivivro


---------------------------------
Other great songs are Caruso (recommended by caroline), The mass-era (recommended by Majd Batarseh), X simarik (kiss kiss) recommended by Hala, and a random but good Turkish song -actually in English , by Gowaider.

Hope you liked them
Hareega

The five seconds of silence

On the phone with the secretary.

"Hey Judy, I need 1/1 off, I'm going to New York"

Judy, "Awesome, I'm going with husband and in-laws to New York too. We're gonna watch my sister in a play! If you go to that play watch for her, her name is Amanda."

I asked, "Are they gonna introduce her?"

Judy, "Yes, I'll be happy to, and she's single too, 32, has a kid"

Hareega, "Oh, I meant are they gonna introduce her to us, the audience, so we can know who she is, I didn't to me".

Judy, "Oh...."
Hareega, "Uhmm....."

then came the five seconds of silence......

"So can I take 1/1 off?"
"Sure....."

--------------------------------------------------------------------
I was talking to my attending physician (kinda my boss) about a patient whose first name is Benito, as in Benito Mussolini.

Hareega, "It's the the first time I meet someone whose name is Benito. He's 36, so he was born after the (second world) war! Why the hell did his parents name him Benito?"

Boss, "Well Mussolini wasn't that bad, not nearly as bad as Hitler. They say at least he made the trains run on time in Italy."

Hareega, "Ha Ha Ha that wasn't easy, Italians can't get anything done on time"

Then I quickly remembered something. I looked at my boss's badge and noticed that his name was as Italian as fettuccini alfredo.

There were five seconds of silence, then we proceeded to talk about the patient.
--------------------------------------------------------------

I'm technically on-call 24/7. I can get paged anytime and I have to call back immediately.

It was 10 pm, I was leaving the hospital, and decided to use the clean bathrooms they have for doctors inside the hospital to release my products of metabolism.

As I was inside, I got paged. I pick my cell phone and call back the number. It was the neurosurgery resident who is also a not-so close friend.

I called back.
She goes, " Hey Ferris you didn't mention in your note how long you wanna treat Mrs. Green for."

"Oh, 4 weeks."
"How long?"
"4 weeks"
"I can't hear you well!"
I realized the signal inside the bathroom sucked. I wasn't in a good position to leave the bathroom.

"I said 4 weeks, FOUR WEEKS, FOUR, CUATRO. FOUR"
"OK, 4 weeks, hey where are you?"

From previous experiences, I realized that it's not a pretty thing to tell people on the phone that you're calling them from the bathroom. It's even worse to tell them you're sitting on a toilet seat.

So she asked , "Where are you, there's a lot of echo around you"
"Yeah I know."
"Are you in a wear house?"

I said, "Oh yeah, in a wear house"
"What are you doing at 10 pm in a wear house!!"

Five second of silence........
Ten seconds of silence.......
then I hung up.