MiiiiiiiKRO -Blogging: Wadde3 Horayrata Enna Al-Rakba Morta7ilooo.... Wa Hal Toteeko Wada3an Ayyahal Rajolooo?? Rajolo.... Lam

HM King Abdullah met Barack Obama yesterday. Both men agree that having "Hussain" as your middle name could be a honor in one country but a reason to question your patriotism in another.

- A woman weighing 240 kilograms gave birth to a healthy kid in Romania. After delivery she said she was still in pain but was so happy to lose 4 kilograms.

- Ukraine vowed to get rid of all its nuclear weapons by the year 2012. Rumor has it that only a few hours after they did 2 tribes in Salt made a generous offer to buy them.

- Looks to me like Ammani mothers want their pre-school kids to be bilingual. Bad news: your kids are barely smart enough to even learn one language. They'll end up non-lingual, similar to ice-age children who had lived 20,000 years ago.

- It was announced that Dick Cheney suffered another heart attack . He had it for 14 years but it took doctors that long to locate his heart.

- The Jordanian military hospital in Gaza has been open for a year and has accepted 204,000 Palestinian patients, or as al-Jazeera reported it, "Jordan continues to fuck Palestinians"

- A law in Michigan allows any teenager as young as 12 years of age to buy a handgun as long as he has not committed a felony. The purpose of this law is to allow any teenager who is as young as 12 years of age to commit a felony.

- French president Sarkozy continued his apology tours for France's previous occupations. He had previously apologized for Algerians for occupying their country. If he's really sorry about France's role in torturing millions of Arabs in one country he'd rather visit Jordan to apologize for Orange.

- The US administrations is getting tough on Israel. Joe Biden publicly criticized Israel for building new settlements and Hillary Clinton yelled at Netenyahu in a 43-miniute phone call. It is predicted that by the beginning of the summer Barack Obama's sex tape with a Jewish woman in the oval office will be on DVD.

- I am realizing that "very safe" towns in America are very boring towns. Before I move to a new town next time I have to make sure they have a couple of homocides every once in a while.

- Elizabeth Taylor is getting married again. She is 79 and this would be her 9th marriage. I don't know if they'll ever make an Arabic movie about her life but if so I'm sure it will be played by Sabah.

- Toyota is suffering. Despite billions of dollars their reputation keeps getting worse because of major technical problems. Nobody seems to be learning the lesson from Real Madrid.

---------------------------

"In the picture is Richard Kuklinski, nick-named iceman. He murdered 250 men starting at the age of 13. He used to keep his victims' bodies frozen in freezers so that the police won't be able to tell the time of death once they find a body. I mentioned the term ice age above in the post so I thought about posting a picture with something related to ice. Bon Appetit."

Fighting in Salt

I don't think I or anyone else can tell you the exact story of what happened, especially that each side gives its own story.

But what we know for sure, is that a student at Al-Balqa Univeristy killed another student, which led to clashes between both tribes. Those clashes include burning of of stores owned by family members of the other tribe for no reason other than sharing the same last name. Study in Al-Balqa' was held Sunday because of tensions.

The murdered victim is not the only victim in this incident. The victims are the thousands of students who missed one day of school. These classes on Sunday were paid for in advance and they will not be compensated for missing them.

The owners of these stores will also not be compensated.

The tax payers are also paying for law enforcement that proved again to be ineffective in preventing violence following a violent crime.

When the tribes meet for the usual Atweh , I would care less if the murderer ends up spending only a few years in jail. Both tribes should agree to pay the one-day tuition for all students who missed class, including their transportation fees. They should also pay for damages in every store that was destroyed and they should pay for the damages in the roads for Salt that will be fixed by the tax payers's money.

I take pride in my heritage and I recognize that the tribal system is part of my culture. However we are reaching a point where we're becoming more of a gangster country where gangs fight against gangs and we have to take sides. The law should be enforced on those morons who take guns to colleges and think they're only targeting one person. They are hurting a lot of people and the whole country ends up paying for their crimes.

Here's a clip that will make you very proud of your country:

Clearing the Original Sin

This is Rupert Murdoch, the founder of Fox News, on the cover of Hello! magazine.

Occasion: baptizing his 2 daughters near the baptism site in the River Jordan.

So the man who founded Fox, a news organization that frequently bashes Muslims for being non-tolerant, flies to a Muslim-dominant country to perform a Christian service accompanied by the Queen of Jordan.

As the main Fox-news guy, we'd expect him to not have any celebrity friends given how much Fox news despises "celebrities" for being a bunch of crazy liberals. However Murdoch insisted on having Nicole Kidman and Hugh Jackman attend the baptism.

Finally, he acknowledged that the baptism site lies in the Jordanian side of the River, not the Israeli side.

Ironaically the only thing that can be screwed by this visit is Fox News.

Amman kicking serious ass in the Winter Olympics

Ammann wins ski jumping gold for Switzerland

Congratulations! Click here for details

There's Nothing Wrong About Tawjihi

I stand behind this statement. Tawjihi is a series of exams designed by experts in education. The major drawback of these tests is that they examine the student's ability to memorize data rather than analyze it. With this said, it remains an excellent way to test resilience, hard work, commitment to study and the ability to handle stress. The more hard-working a student is, the better his/her score will be.

The problem exists with Jordanian universities that accept Tawjihi as the only way to judge a student's academic performance. Doctors are not smarter than engineers, and engineers are not smarter than lawyers, they just think differently. However, with the method universities accept students we end up with having a large number of students graduating from colleges they didn't like. They chose it because it was their only choice. Other students went to more challenging colleges only because they could. In face, the majority do so every single year.

Our universities do not do a single interview in the process of accepting students into anything. They don't even ask them to take any additional test or questionnaire about their ambitions or aspirations or reasons on why they want to join this particular college in that particular field. Any work experience a student had before going to college does not count. Any voluntary work or research or invention or activity does not count. What counts is what you scored on physics and maths and your ability to remember all those chemical formulas and Ahmed Shawqi poems.

With thousands of students graduating every year from colleges they never wanted to join, from universities they were never proud to belong to, after being taught by professors they never liked or aspired to become like, we keep having a bigger number of Jordanians who are unprofessional at their jobs, who hate their careers and always dream of becoming something else. This could have been different if someone, some day, had stopped and asked them what their dream was.

Wrong Conversation

December 31st (new year's eve)
my flight to Las Vegas scheduled at 1.30 pm

It was 11.00 am and I still had a few patients to see.
While reading a chart on the 3rd floor, a 60-something old nurse that I barely know asked me,
"Hey what are you doing tonight?"
"Going to Vegas, in a little bit actually"
"Vegas, wow" she answered with a loud voice, which got me some looks from a few nurses and doctors near the nursing station.

"Yes, Vegas"
"Ohhh, you're gonna get wasted there.... hahahaha"
"No actually I'm just going for a little change, I'm not a big drinker...."
"Oh no, don't tell me you're not a big drinker, Vegas on new year's? haha ... you're gonna get so drunk! They'll close the strip and you'll get drunk like everyone else"

I smiled and turned around and left, while she was saying, "have fun, lots of it, but try to come back, HAHAHA"

-------------------

One month later.

8 pm. I'm on-call, exhausted. On the 3rd floor getting ready to leave.
I heard the same husky loud loud voice screaming from the skies, "OOOO"
It was the same witch.
"Here you are .... haven't seen you in a while... tell me about Vegas"
"Well I had fun, it was great"
"HAHA great, did you get wasted like YOU TOLD ME YOU WOULD"
"No, I didn't say that, I didn't drink there"
"HAHAHA it's OK, it's the new year, everyone gets wasted in Vegas, it's good you came back, some people don't.... HAHAHA"
"Well... ok... "
"And you know what they say about Vegas right?"
"Yes I know, thanks for asking, I have to go check on something now...."
"But you know what they say about Vegas? Huh? No?"
"Yes I know, I know...."
"You know huh? You know? "
"YES"
"What happens in Vegas... huh? What happens in Vegas...huh?"
"I know"
"Stays in Vegassss, right, HAHAHA"

I have to be honest. I might have enjoyed this conversation if this was a smokin' 22-year nursing student, not a 60-year old obnoxious nurse talking while my own patient dying from stomach cancer with 3 members of his family were not sitting 5 feet away from us, or if a priest was not hanging close to us in the nursing station listening to the whole conversation smiling at me with these thoughts running in his head, "you will be doomed in hell with Satan you evil drunken doctor"

Again, I smiled at the evil witch and turned around.

sometimes people shock you so much that you just can't say anything.

Egypt Deserved to Win 4-0

I was hoping for Algeria to win, but Egypt deserved it

The worst excuse ever is that Algeria had 3 players sent off with a red card.

If you know basic football, you would know that having a player sent off is just another mistake that you deserve to lose a game for, exactly like a wrong pass or missing a penalty.

Egypt played better and did not do the mistakes of having players sent off, so they deserved the victory, 4-0.

Good luck Sunday.
--------------------

And for the record here: Algeria will KICK ASS in the World Cup, seriously, they will kick ass.

Fifty Things I Love About South Dakota

I love Jordan but other bloggers have said it all. So here are my top #50 reasons why I love South Dakota.

1- Only 3 months after you move to South Dakota people will refer to you as the Jordanian because you're the only one living there.

2- You will start understanding what it means to be "endangered species"

3- They sell great beef testicles.

4- There's a lot of Mexican food even though there are no Mexicans.

5- The airport has one terminal, and you can arrive there just half-an-hour before your flight.

6- You'll recognize at least 3 people on the 20-seat plane.

7- Just like Jordan, everyone here has a relative in California.

8- When it's minus 20 degrees all streets are open, everyone goes to work and school and nobody complains about anything.

9- You're one of those very few people who has a passport.

10- Work is always within a 10-minute drive.

11- Everything is always within a 10-minute drive.

12- If you're 14 you can get a driver's licence.

13- All chicks are originally Scandinavian heritage. Enough said.

14- The smell of of horse shit in the street brings back memories from your grandfather's farm in Dibbeen.

15- If your car is stuck in the snow, random strangers will stop by and help you out instead of stopping by to rob your car (like they do in Arizona).

16- In the middle of a snow storm people still drive with their 1960s cars.

17- South Dakota is a diverse state. We have some Asians and also a black couple: Richard and Mary. Nice couple.

18- If anyone in the world is stalking you, you can totally hide in south Dakota and they'll never know how to reach you.

19- A traffic jam means there's a high-school baseball game somewhere.

20- If you're taking a leak at the airport bathroom and your luggage behind you falls on the floor, a nice person behind you will lift it up and hold it for you until you're done pissing.

21- No roaches. They're all dead from the cold weather by October.

22- No matter how cold it gets, it makes you feel better knowing there are people who are more screwed than you are. Thank God for giving us North Dakota.

23- In the snow, to keep the car heated, people keep their cars turned on and leave them to go shopping at the mall. (again, cars don't get stolen)

24- Old people are taken care of by their kids and grandkids.

25- A mother may need 10 seconds to remember the date of birth of one of her kids because she has ten of them.

26- All women over the age of 60 have milked at least 1000 cows in their lives.

27- If you drive on the freeway for longer than one hour you will certainly hit an animal and rip his body into 10 pieces.

28 - Kum and Go is the name of a big grocery store chain.

29- When a plane is in the sky everyone looks up.

30- You can tell the animal by smelling its feces.

31- Scotland, Arlington, Buffalo and Corsica are only two-hours away.

32- The car salesman works part-time as a nurse and on weekends as a bar tender.

33- You can insult anyone's mother or wife but never ever say anything bad about country music.

34- People pray in church for God to protect their cattle.

35- The whole state shares one area code: 605.

36- People wear snow boots (Bostar) to weddings.

37- It could be minus 10 degrees outside but sunny all day long

38- Even though everyone hates the French here, the capital's name is Pierre.

39- And I can tell exactly if you're a South Dakotan by the way you pronounce Pierre. ( and I'm not gonna tell you.)

40- Pierre, a very small city, has two time zones. Over there people can save an hour each day just by driving 4 miles to work.

41- Being a Middle Eastern in South Dakota is exotic. You're one-of-a-kind. People have never seen one like you before. Even if they think you're a terrorist they'll love and you protect you because you're so rare and special.

42- I've been living here 6 months and have already heard this a 100 times every time i travel, "You are the first person I meet who is from South Dakota"

43- The only reference people know from South Dakota is the movie Fargo. (and mind you: Fargo is in North Dakota, and the movie was actually shot in Minnesota).

44- You will have days where every woman you see is pregnant.

45- Everyone here has eaten at least one animal that they could not clearly identify what it was; they just shot it and had to cook it before dark.

46- People believe everything the doctor says even if it has nothing to do with medicine. (In case you visit me here, pretend that Gandhi was born in Jordan).

47- The Valentine gift is a brand new snow shovel.

48- The four seasons are only two, they're called winter and July.

49- When someone tells you, "you've got plenty of pop in your sac" that's not a compliment. They're just saying you have a lot Coke in your grocery bag.

50- Half the town is your family. The other half is your in-laws.

Haitiyyat

Help those who don't know you, who won't recognize you, who don't look like you, and who

may not even thank you, for that is the true giving.

Help Haiti.




As for today, at least 100,000 dead, and more dying.

UnCensored

If you think internet censorship did not exist in Jordan before "this law" was made, you don't know Jordan well.

If you think by cancelling this law nobody will be watching what's circulating on Jordanian blogs and websites anymore, you don't know Jordan well.

And if you think that Jordanians officials abide by laws, you don't know Jordan well enough.

Agree with mala2e6 here.

Cheers to all my readers WITHOUT EXCEPTION

The Right Stuff

I took a quick look at the 10 am appointment in my travel clinic. An empty chart except for one note by my assistant, "Going to Haiti, needs necessary vaccines and medications, booked his appointment urgently, Ok'ed by you"

The man arrived 30 minutes before his appointment. He filled the travel form. Clearly, my first question was, "Why are you going there ?

"We adopted a kid from Haiti, and after the earthquake we haven't heard anything about her. I will go there to look for her."

"For how long are you staying?"

"Not sure, at least 3 weeks, probably longer. It's OK to give me lots of medications, if I have extra I'll give them to people there"

And so I did. The man was my age, but he looked twice as old despite having no medical problems. It was evident that he had a very rough week. I told him about all the risks of going there. I gave him the printed travel warnings emailed to me from different agencies and he told me he understood all the risks. He wasn't referring to the girl as a poor girl who needed help. He was referring to her as his own daughter who went missing after a tragic earthquake.

People in Jordan are largely against adoption. Not only that, it's also illegal. Most Jordanians who are against adoption are people who never adopted (and obviously will never adopt), who don't have any family member who adopted children, never even met anyone who adopted anyone else and never knew and will never get to know any adopted person.

Yes, adoption is not for everyone. There are a lot of things that can go wrong along the way. Not all couples should be allowed to adopt. In fact, the majority of couples are not capable of adopting, let alone have their own children. But for the right couple, and there's a lot of them, adoption is a great gift both for them and for the poor kids who probably have no future other than engaging in civil wars and succumbing to disease and ignorance. A lot of these kids live in Jordan and other Arab countries, and they are not happy and will never be happy.

If you don't feel it's good for you, try at least to change the foreseen future of these kids and there are a lot of ways to do so, and please, don't stand as an obstacle to people who can adopt and save the life of another child. It's more precious that you can imagine.

كلوروفيل

اليوم عيد الشجرة
كل عام وانتم بخير
وبهذه المناسبة نعيد ونكرر أهدافنا المنشودة

نحو أردن أخضر عام ألفين

Injustice Served

You might have seen the clip of the brother of the UAE's president, Sheikh Issa Bin Zayid torturing a helpless tied Afghani worker for 40 minutes, nonstop.

Bassam and Ghassan Nabulsi, two Palestinians living in the US, smuggled the tape inside the US and ABC news showed it last year.

Here's a short clip of it:



Today, an Emirati court cleared Issa from any abuse charges.

Not only that, they charged they sentenced the Nabulsis for "drugging" the Issa and taping him torturing the man.

I have to add that the Afghani man was also raped after all the beating. He was tied, beaten up and raped.

I consider you a civilized person if you appreciate human rights, treat people as equals, stop the corruption, and give a chance for your people to have a better life. It doesn't come with building towers, artificial islands and bringing under-privileged women from Eastern Europe to work as sex slaves in your fancy brothels. As long as you treat Indians, Bengalis, Pakistanis, and anyone who works under you like a slave, you're still a douche bag.

Awareness for Testicular Cancer

Men of the World: Post the Color of your Kalsoon

Unfortunately, it looks like a lot of people, especially women, are desperate for anything that can cure or decrease the risk of breast cancer, and this is completely understandable. Prevention and early detection is the key. Self-breast exams are free and harmless and any woman can do it, that's why they're highly encouraged although their benefit is minimal at best. Mammograms often miss breast cancer, and recent guidelines suggest that they might be useless for the majority of women 50 years or younger.

Just like most cancers, a lot of factors have been linked to breast cancer are the unhealthy daily habits people do: smoking, eating fatty meals, lack of exercise, too much alcohol....etc. Not an easy thing to adjust.

The other big factor: genes. Can't change that.

I don't think the recent facebook statuses game raised any awareness or increased our knowledge about anything, but in case it did, I hope we'd start another campaign about not sharing too much information on facebook especially when you have 500 friends on facebook half of whom you'd barely say hi to if you see in real life.

And what's up with women being allowed to share whatever they want on facebook while men are called perverts and jerks if they do. Once my friends on facebook completely ripped me off for saying, "Just saw a 60-minute video of Maradona's best goals, I don't think my nipples have ever as hard before".

Equality people, equality.

(for the millions of women and the 2 guys who asked, no that's not me in the picture, sorry to make you sweat for nothing)

Some Clips About Our Triple Agent

Here's an interview (or attempts of having an interview) with his father and brother in Amman by the CNN correspondent:



Nisreen Shamayleh reporting for al-Jazeera...


Fox News

Terrorism in Saint Louis, Missouri

In a manufacturing company in St Louis, a terrorist armed with three different weapons randomly shot hundreds of bullets at innocent people killing three and injuring five.

------------------
And now we got a confirmation that his name is: Timothy G. Hendron.

So to edit: A man opened fire at people at a manufacturing company in St. Louis killing three people and injuring five.

I am a Drug Addict who Molests Children and Beats the Homeless and Works as a Male Prostitute at Night

Again, this is much better than being known a Jordanian doctor these days.

Underestimating What's Underneath the Underwear

Since 9/11, America never hesitated to lose its collective shit after any threat to its security. The bomb that exploded inside the underwear of a Nigerian young man during his international flight last week was a reminder that America does not get it yet it.

Right after the most recent incident, a new regulation popped up that passengers on international flights won't be allowed to use the restroom during the last hour of the flight, because a terrorist would love to enjoy his flight with a bomb stuck to his butt for 12 hours and would only decided to push the button on during the last hour.

The Nigerian dude's father notified authorities that his son was becoming an extremist. The US authorities knew about it, and they still gave him a visa and did not add him to the no-fly list. Mind you: Nelson Mandela was placed on the no-fly list (by mistake), but this guy was not placed on it, by mistake I'd like to believe. Every single year, hundreds of physicians from different countries (especially Pakistan) are denied visas to enter the US even though they were accepted into residency program all over the US. However this Nigerian guy was welcomed in.

A few months ago, hell broke loose in the US when it was announced that Khalid Shaikh Mohammed, the "mastermind" behind 9/11, was going to be trialed on US soil and given the rights any human being deserves: a lawyer and the chance to defend himself. Republicans and some Democrats declared their lack of trust in their judiciary system when they claimed KSM should not be given the rights given to many other terrorists in the past in the US (Omar Abdul Rahman, Mosawi, Timothy McVay...etc)

The US would have been better off without Guantanamo. All these prisoners would have had the rights they deserved, and with the US judiciary system most guilty prisoners would have been found guilty and been thrown in jail or executed. You might get concerned if 2 or 3 slipped through the cracks and were real terrorists who were let go, but you have to understand that a lot of those were actually released from Guantanamo under Bush only to return to join Al Qaeda.
Besides all that, Americans maybe wouldn't have felt too bad that their government is torturing prisoners and dissing its own constitution and some of the things they believe in.

One scary piece of information: you can manufacture a bomb yourself by following simple instructions on the Internet. You can slip through security because metal detectors do not detect a lot of kinds of explosives. I will be flying tomorrow on new year's eve and I know for sure that I cannot get any bottle of shampoo, deodorant, hair gel or razor in my carry-on luggage. I may be able to use the bathroom but that may scare the hell out of everyone on board, and I have to take off my shoes and God know what else at security, but I know one thing for sure: I will not be feeling safer for one reason: terrorist are always one step ahead. The only thing that kept America passengers safe last week was a couple a vigilant passengers staying awake because of that crying baby that exists on each plane. It wasn't the CIA, it wasn't the FBI, and it wasn't even the dude's father who begged authorities to stop his son from doing something stupid. It was a lot of good luck. So good luck to you and wish me luck!

Prince Philip: Jerk

Every family, office, class, association has it loud mouth disaster that can't learn to think for 3 seconds before uttering something stupid or offensive.
The United Kingdom got one of those, his name is Prince Philip.

The latest incident occurred while honoring a blind British soldier injured during a bombing attack. The queen asked the soldier if he had any of his vision left. Prince Philip, next to her, answered, "Not a lot, judging by the tie he's wearing"

Other gaffes:
- While accepting a gift from a Kenyan woman, he asked her, "You are a woman, aren't you?"

- He was visiting a school and a 13-year old boy told him he wanted to become an astronaut. Philip answered him, "Well, you'll never fly in it, you're too fat to be an astronaut."

- Being with a British student, the student told Philip that he had just returned from Papua New Guinea, to which Philip responded, "You managed not to get eaten then?"

Very funny, but a jerk. We love those.

Photo of the Moment: This is Not an Airline Incident

Just a clarification: I'm not the Black Iris. I'm just stealing his titles.

Story of the picture: In the country/territory of Gibraltar (Jabal Tarek), the airport's only runway intersects with the main street in the country, so every time a plane is taking off or landing traffic on the street has to be stopped.


This photo says it all.

If this was Jordan the cars won't stop but may try to drive around the plane instead.

Facebook Gone Wrong...

Horrible/funny real statuses and replies from real people on facebook.
People, watch out!
(You have to click on the box to read it more clearly)

My 20-second encounter with Sarah Palin

I love Sarah Palin. After all, she is the reason Barack Obama was elected for president. She visited South Dakota, where I currently live, to get connected to her supporters, sign her new book and make an extra buck.
I decided to go for the book-signing because there wasn't anything more fun to do in Sioux Falls for a single guy on a Sunday night (or morning, afternoon...etc) -I have to mention that I had already gone to church that day-.

I also have to mention that I'm a whore for meeting celebrities. My only trip for the gym in Tucson was when Hillary Clinton went there for a speech during her campaign for the democratic seat, even though I was hoping she'd fail. I stood speechless when I saw Jack Nicholson right in front of me in a building in Philadelphia. Even when I pulled out my camera to take a perfect picture of him I could only manage to shoot a photo of some random ass. I also hope his new movie will fail. So it didn't come as a surprise when I found myself going to see Palin today.

I stood in a perfectly organized line of happy people. I don't know how will people meeting St Peter at the Pearly Gates will look like but they won't be as happy as the people I saw today. Standing in line started to become boring, I looked at the (happy) lady in front of me in line,
"So the only book Sarah can sign is her book, right?"
"Yes, don't give her another book to sign" she laughed
" I thought about giving her Obama's book to sign.. ha... haha"
She looked back at me as if I just called her a filthy whore.

I proceeded to see Palin. I started getting a little anxious, "what if she got me deported?" was the only thought in my head. They passed her the book, she signed it and gave it to me,
"What your name?"
"Fares"
"Fares, thank you for coming"
Thinking how everything she had done so far was helping Democrats win elections I told her, "thank you for the great work, keep it going"
"thank you very much", she said, and before I added anything else the security guy next to her looked at me and in his eyes I saw him saying, "move the f--k up or I'm gonna cut you into 400 pieces"

I moved up and bought the book for 18 dollars. Knowing that Donald Trump charges you one million dollars to spend one hour with him, I thought 18 dollars to spend 20 seconds with Sarah Palin was a good bargain. Besides the brief chat I got hold of something that will get a few bids on ebay in 2012 "An unopened, unread personally signed book by presidential candidate Sarah Palin".

Very Late, Very Well-Deserved: Best of the Best

Ballon D'Or for Lionel Messi

Seriously, Switzerland, Seriously, WTF??

Can anyone, even the most islamophobe on earth, explain to me how does a minaret threaten his security?

57% of the Swiss population proved yesterday to be very bigoted, hateful, racist and discriminatory, let alone stupid and dumb.


Even if they believed there were Islamic groups inside Switzerland planning on a terrorist attack, how will prohibiting minaret construction affect their plan? Would they go, "Oh we cannot have more minarets, our plans are screwed?"


The only message that 57% of Switzerland was saying was a fuck you to Muslims, nothing but fuck you. And when you send this message to part of your society many of them citizens of your own country, you cannot come later and blame them for failure of integration into this racist society and ask them to respect the values that are clearly exclusive to people from certain ethnicities and religions.


The people behind this vote were the same people who came up with this cartoon:

It translates into, "for more security" !!!

Got my point?

Things We Will Never See in Jordan

Keep the Bad Parliament

In 2007 Jordanians elected a Jordanian Parliament. It was a relatively clean election. Two years later, the performance of the Parliament was undoubtfully shameful, reflective of the massive corruption, inefficiency, backwardness and hypocrisy that has hit our country for quite some time. This bad performance was not surprising.

Yesterday HM King Abdullah ordered the Parliament to be dissolved. I would assume that he, like most Jordanians, were disappointed by the performance of the Parliament.

I am disappointed by the Parliament but I'm more disappointed, like always, with the people who elected the Parliament, i.e. the majority of the Jordanian population.

How do you expect a clean Parliament to emerge if those who voted for them would take any opportunity to get an extra penny or two if they were not to be caught? How about the hypocrisy of being religious when it comes to a generous beard but a godless thief when it comes to stealing the government's money to fly to "conferences" and "meetings" outside Jordan? Don't you see that kind of hypocrisy in most people when you look around you?

Why do we expect Parliament members to attend all the sessions when the average Jordanian wouldn't mind missing work as long as it won't affect his salary? Why would you expect an MP to sacrifice something for his country if most people wouldn't? Why do complain of MPs fighting in the Parliament when we Jordanians feel like breaking each others' bones at schools, universities, grocery stores and traffic lights?

Do you think that we, Jordanians, really care about our country? How much do wealthy Jordanians donate to charity? How is the SOS doing? How much donations do our universities get every year from its alumni? How many non-profit hospitals and colleges are there in Jordan?

Don't we wait for any opportunity to allow us to look down on our own people? More money, education, a nicer car, any kind of skill, some foreign language, a wealthy spouse, just anything to make us feel grandiose, feel important and better than anyone else? For anyone who has driven outside the territory of Western Amman, don't you feel that Jordan is becoming more than once country glued together by a fake thread that at one point may not stand the test of time?

If it's true to say that people deserve the government they get, it would be more correct to say that people deserve the Parliament they elect. If it sucks it's because we suck. Every dysfunction that exists in the Parliament exists in our community, in our homes and schools and colleges . I want the dysfunctional Parliament to stay there, longer than ever, with its scandals on display on TV, newspapers and whatever 7th grade students write in Ammon news.

If a new Parliament is to be elected, it has to be an absolute disaster for me to believe it is representative of the people. Anything less than a catastrophic performance will make suspect that the elections were a fraud.

Egypt-Algeria: An Honor Crime

Today in the Egypt-Algeria match I am hoping for a huge fight to erupt, and for both teams to be kicked out of the qualifications allowing Zambia in 3rd place to make it to the World Cup.

The only 2 matches I was eager to watch last week were Tunisia-Mozambique where Tunisia unfortunately lost 0-1 allowing Nigeria to qualify instead. Bahrain also lost 0-1 to New Zealand and was relegated. For the first time since 1978, Arabs will represented by only one team in the World Cup finals, but that doesn't seem to be that important anymore.

Overall I'm disappointed that the Egyptian and Algerian honor is now about a football game. Things used to be very different a few decades ago.

Anyway, I'll be watching, in hope that Al-Akhdar Balloumi will jump onto the field and start pulling eyes out and for angry fans to finish the job of burying Algerians by throwing whatever rocks they had left from last week on their heads. Go Zambia! Make Africa proud again!

Nidal Malik Hasan

Yesterday afternoon I heard of the incident where a man opened fire at a military base. First I thought it was just another soldier suffering from PTSD, a very common disorder among many US soldiers who've been to Iraq. Then the name showed up. It was an Arab one. Worse, he was an Arab doctor. Another one. Same story.

I don't have any problem with the press crucifying this guy, totally ripping him off and showing him as the most evil man in the world. But I still have a problem with how America is responding to an incident like the one that occurred yesterday and that we all know will happen in the future.

There is an assumption that he was driven to kill soldiers by his religion, which may turn out to be true. However that assumption was based on the fact that he distributed copies of Quran to his neighbors before the incident. That assumption was reinforced by the knowledge of him screaming "Allaho Akbar"-God is Great while he was shooting.

It's very clear that Hasan was planning in advance on what he was doing. He knew he was dying. It's very normal for a practising Muslim to plan on doing something that serves his religion before their death, regardless of the reason they're dying. If a cancer patient is about to die it's normal for him to donate money for an Islamic school or to build a mosque and distributing Qurans on people is another act of virtue.

The other part -the Allaho Akbar one- is another reason that makes me extremely disgusted with the bias and retardation the American media continues to practise. Nobody seems to get that Allaho Akbar is just a expression that Arabs and Muslims say when they get excited over anything. It's a Muslim version of Jeez, or a PG-rated WTF. When Jameel Al Batouti, the co-pilot of EgyptAir flight 990, was screaming religious phrases seconds before his jumbo jet crashed into the ocean, everyone freaked out thinking he brought the plane down, as if someone should be singing Kumbaya or reciting the constitution when they're dying.

There are a few crazy people like Hasan, but there are thousands of not-as-crazy people who can hold themselves from a shooting rampage. They are in the army right now and they are exposed to emotional traumas that no physician can treat and no medication can control. Nobody gives a shit about them. They are so much hated overseas for many reasons, and their country forgets them once they're back for many other reasons. They won't a turn a gun against strangers but they might turn it at themselves or loved ones one day. They become very angry or very quiet, very shy or very disinhibited- abnormal to say the least. War completely destroys their brain, and nobody told them about it in those shiny commercials about how awesome it is to go and fight the bad guys in Iraq.

Mental disorder results from something, usually. It's the a loss from any war that chases a country for decades after its end, and I don't think America gets it. I'm sure that Nidal Malik Hasan, the psychiatrist, would have agreed with me on that one.

MikrO-bloGGinG.... Da3 3anka Lawmi Fa Inna Allawma Ighra2oo... Daweni Billati Kanat Heya Al Da2oooo, Da2oo.. Daal

* I was surfing the web and accidentally got into Hayfa Wahbi's website. Only 10 seconds after I opened it my eyes got herpes and my keyboard contracted syphilis.

* I was recently in Washington D.C. and visited a museum there where I saw the surgical tools that American surgeons used during the civil war in 1865. Those tools were in that museum temporarily. Their next destination was going to be the operation room in Prince Hamza Hospital in Irbid.

* I understand how terrible H1N1 can be, but if you smoke 3 packs of cigarettes and enjoy a ginormous seder of mansaf everyday don't worry much about H1N1. Something else will get you faster.

* Real Madrid has to call it quits. I'm not from Madrid and I don't like that team but I already feel offended by everything they have done since Hugo Sanchez realized he was too fat to do his acrobatic somersault after each goal. And Madridians don't worry when Real Madrid is gone, there is a more respectable team from Madrid that is already representing you better than Real Madrid, its name is Alcorcon.

* I will open a grocery store in Amman and call it "tomorrow we're having a snow storm min asel qotbi" ... that's called good business.

* Thank God for Joe Lieberman and Bernie Madoff, just for giving me the opportunity to cuss some Jews without being labelled anti-Semite.

* A few Jewish rabbis were arrested last month in New York in connection with money laundry and selling human organs to be used in transplantation. Those are the kinds of crimes that improve your reputation as smart asses. Arabs need to learn a little bit from that. Money laundry... that's some smart shit. Release Majd Al-Shamayleh now.

* Governments should never interfere with women's reproductive rights. However if you already had 3 kids and they're clearly going to become as trashy as you are, the government has the right to come to your room at the middle of the night and rip your belly open without anaesthesia and blow away your uterus with the ovaries in order to save the world. I would vote for such law.

* Seven Jordanians died of H1N1 so far. Ten times that number died while watching our football team lose to UAE 3-1. We need to set our priorities straight. Before vaccinating the nation send our football players to jail.

* Jordanian newspapers need to shut down their websites. Period.

* I didn't ask to be Jordanian. I just got lucky.................. ok now let's stop bullshitting each other and tell me how can I get a Canadaian passport.

* Alec Baldwin will co-host of the Oscars next year. Barack Obama was given the Nobel Peace Prize. Today the Vatican announced that the next Pope will be Sinead O'Connor.

* Hillary Clinton is starting to take Israel's side during the ongoing negotations between Palestinians and Israelis. Someone should remind her that it wasn't us who sent Lweisnky to her husband's desk (- to go under his desk, to be more accurate)

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(The picture above is of Jordanian politician Mona Abu Bakr. The FDA approved the picture for use in most blogs, but warned against side effects that include nausea, diarrhea, rectal prolapse, hand-foot-mouth disease, erectile dysfunction, losing your house and job and attention deficit disorder. Use with caution. )

Happy 2010

I always like to be the first to do something

Plane Stupid

News broke last week that a Royal Jordanian flight from Athens to Amman was captained by a female Jordanian pilot, co-pilot and an entire female crew.

It's very pleasing to see Jordanian women doing so.

What's a little irritating is that we had to break a piece of news about it as if this was some kind of a new experiment we're doing. It looks like passengers were told that the entire crew were women only after they landed in Amman. One wonders if the intent was to prevent panic in the sky from people used to seeing women locked in a kitchen washing dishes and cooking maglobah?

It looks like the reaction of the passengers was something similar to, "Despite having people from the retarded backward stupid half-brained gender fly the plane, things went OK"

Meanwhile in the US, two male pilots engaged themselves in a long debate in the sky that they missed the airport by 150 miles before they noticed that and headed back to the airport. If those pilots were women, hell would break loose and people would start demanding stripping all female pilots from their flying licence.

Here's the clip

How a Jordanian Company Deceived the World

In 1976, A Jordanian company named Jerash International (JI) started manufacturing a local medication for diabetes named Vaxifine. It used the same formula used to make a similar European drug but made a very minor change: Instead of the normal sodium chloride used in the European drug they used a "fresh" substance extracted from sardines named MOTS (Monogammo-Oxadizone-Tellurtinase-Sulfatase).

The Jordanian Pharmaceutical Association refused to approve the use of this drug in local markets due to the presence of MOTS. In several studies conducted in the 1960s MOTS turned out to be present in large concentrations in the bone marrow of monkeyes that were dying from a unusual wasting disease. The drug never saw the light in Jordanian markets and was about to
be completely abandoned.

However, the CEO of Jerash International was former prime minister Bahjat Al-Talhouni. He refused to let 300,000 doses of the drug be trashed. No American or European country accepted the drug because of its MOTS content. However, through his connections, Talhouni was able to push the drug to be used in several African countries. By 1977 it was on pharmacy shelves in Botswana, Togo, Benin and the Central African Republic. By 1978, Nigeria and Mali approved the drug.

In 1979, a new virus hit the African continent. The only thing common among all the victims of this virus was them receiving at least a one-week supply of Vaxifine. Studies conducted at the University of Leeds and later Harvard University proved that Vaxifine caused a mutation in the human body that allows this virus to penetrate inside body tissues and cause irreversible damage.
In 1982, Jerash International stopped producing the drug. In 1983 it went bankrupt and shut down.

More than 450 studies have been published linking the exposure of MOTS, the same chemical Jerash International was using in Vaxifine, to the development of AIDS. However very few were able to make the link to Vaxifine and are just blaming the initial spread of HIV on sexual exposure by African citizens to monkeyes. Drug companies are not interested in funding any studies to how the virus started because that will not help them sell more drugs. A drug that acts as an antagonist to MOTS was developed in New Zealand but nobody is willing to use because it can terminate all the prophets the drug companies make from selling HIV drugs.
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As most of you can tell, the whole story is fabricated. Jerash international and MOTS and Vaxifine do not exist. Bahjat Talhouni existed but he was never a part of something like this. I apologize for to his family for using his name like this. I just made up the story now. The coffee shop I'm sitting in is closing in 10 minutes otherwise I would have made up a more believable story. My point is all these stories about how H1N1 was made up in a certain lab and how vaccinations destroy people are all made up, with one medical study after another proving how safe and effective they are. But it only takes a worthless pig to make up something and put it on youtube for a bunch of uneducated people to believe it and avoid a life-saving vaccine that can usually protect them and protect them and their communities, and worse spread those lies among their family and friends. Yes pharmaceutical companies are godless money-worshipers, but they make up good things.

oh, the picture, just some candy for the eye.

H1N1 Influenza... Are You Scared?

Good news and bad news. Bad news first, it looks like H1N1 influenza is going to be worse than the regular seasonal influenza that kills 11 thousand people every year. Good news? it's not that much worse, at least for now.

Jordan recorded its first fatality in a 26-year old. The US is recording an unusually higher rates of death among influenza patients, higher than the annual average for this time of year. However, a fact remains that the vast majority of people infected with the virus will do just fine without any medical intervention.

Pandemics like this one are concerning, not only because they kill people but also because the virus behind them is new. We don't know much about it. Nobody knows whether or not the virus will gain more strength over the next 2 months or will get weaker and stop killing people. We don't know if the vaccine will be 100% protective for everyone who receives it. We don't know if children to pregnant women afflicted with the infection will suffer any long term lung damage. However, we know enough about the virus to try to tell that some people, as expected, are freaking out for wrong reasons.

Is the H1N1 Vaccine Safe?
Yes. For as much as we know, the vaccine is very safe. It would have been better if we were able to study it for a few years before it gets released, but there isn't anything there to suggest that it will cause any damage to body organ. The risk of not vaccinating can be very high.
People with weakened immune systems due to chemotherapy or other causes should not receive the nasal form. They can get the injection.

Does the Influenza Vaccine cause influenza?
No, it doesn't. If someone got the vaccine and 3 days later got the flu, it's a coincidence. If you saw a new Pepsi commercial and 3 days later you got the flu, don't blame Pepsi for it. It's the flu season, people get the flu.

Who Will suffer the most from the H1N1 Influenza?
A lot of people who died had other medical illnesses like cancer or severe lung disease. Pregnant ladies are definitely at a much higher risk of acquiring a severe infection. But a third group seems to be at risk: young healthy people in their 20s. Their immune system produces a very vigorous response to the infection that can damage their lungs and even kill them.

Patients might suffer a little bit from the virus itself but as they recover a bacterial pneumonia follows and that can rapidly fatal. A lot of the victims of the 1918 pandemic died that way.

I really really don't want to get the flu, what should I do?
1- Wash your hands continuously. You rub your nose everyday more than you can imagine. The influenza virus can live on your hand for hours.

2- Avoid people who have influenza. They are contagious for up to one weak after the onset of symtpoms.

If someone in the room is sneezing or coughing, leave the room. I just did so. A selfish girl in the cafe was sneezing and rubbing her red nose so I just gave her Ja7ra Karakiyyeh and left the cafe to sit outside. BE SHAMELESS, and if you have the flu yourself, stay inside your f-ing home until you stop sneezing or wear a mask if you really had to leave the house.

3- If someone in your family gets the flu, isolate him/her as much as possible. Don't share the same room, towels or utensils. If someone else in the family has a weakened immune system (from cancer, medications...etc) consider letting them take Tamiflu one tablet daily for 10 days to prevent getting the infection. If a pregnant lady is exposed to someone with influenza for a long duration she has to take Tamiflu. It's nine times more likely that she will suffer a severe disease than non-pregnant women.

And, take the vaccine, both the influenza and the H1N1 vaccine. They're approved for those 6 months to 65 years of age.

Feel free to ask questions.

We'll See You in South Africa

Breaking the silence to announce that we made it to the World Cup. I know that teams like North Korea and Paraguay qualified months before we did, but I was so happy yesterday for the victory against Uruguay. Tough times like these make teams better.

In my opinion Argentina now deserved a rank of around 50 in the world, but this very team will win the World Cup under the leadership of the one and only giant, the king of football, the legend of talent, the emperor of excellence Mr. Diego Armando Maradona

Enjoy....