Flatus Ingnition

I had this dream for a long time, and as I grew up this dream kept growing inside of me. I just can't get it out of my head.

Lighting a fart is not that simple.
I had to make sure it's possible, so I asked 2 gastroenterologists about it and they assured me (after swearing on their mothers' lives they won't tell anyone) that it's something doable. The gut produces methane and hydrogen sulfide which are flammable gases.

I still haven't done it, and I'm thinking of the best mechanisms to design this experiment. I know that energy cannot be created or destroyed, but may may change forms. It takes a lot to produce a fart. You need to swallow air, eat, digest the food, and have bacteria act on it and allow your very long intestine to move it towards the very end of your colon. Therefore, I would imagine that a single fart carries with it a massive amount of energy. It can transform all of the previous wasted energy into one single burst that can be beneficial for the human kind. Lighting a fart would be the first step to prove that.

I don't mean to be arrogant, but I'm telling you that I can single-handedly light up streets and provide electricity to thousands of homes, make waters run up high from rivers and reach the thirsty, turn on all the A/Cs in this hot town, and even send space ships to the moon.
An average human farts 14 times a day, and all this gas is wasted. In this time of global warming and high gas prices we cannot afford this anymore. Light farting has become essential for existence and prosperity of mankind.

So come on Jordan, eat your hummus and follow me. Don't leave a leaf of cauliflower uneaten, hold your energy in your stomach until it aches. Don't let anyone steal it from you. Protect it with your lives, and let's gather our energies together to benefit our country. United we stand, divided we fall.


May also check this.