Friday, February 06, 2009

Mikro-Blogging: Lola Loo, Lola Lee, Lola Lo Lola Li Alla Mhayyi Shaware3na

* People should start tipping doctors after they see them in clinic. All workers get tipped. It's unfair I make no money in tips when Arturo the coffee guy makes 12 dollars an hour. I'm gonna leave an empty bottle outside my clinic door, but please don't pee in it- do that in the red bottle.

* A pig's orgasm lasts 30 minutes. Whenever people start calling you a pig (which happens to me every day), you should just look up in the sky and scream out loud, "I wish".

* Men have their own PMS. I had it yesterday, Post-Mansaf Syndrome also leaves you with an strange mood and makes you often bitchy.

* During the Super Bowl there was an error and a 30-second porn clip of naked men showed up on TV. It happened only on one cable network here in Tucson. The big surprise: it wasn't "COX". (terrible terrible joke)

* The company apologized for its subscribers and will compensate them with 10 dollars each. You know that's really great about America, people watch porn that is not only free, but they actually get paid after they watch it.

* I'm really excited about Obama trying to initiate plans to use alternative energy resources. But I'm not excited because it's better for the environment. I just want Saudis to start doing useful things, like getting a life and stop sending those retarded text messages to Arabic TV stations.

* Colored TV was a great invention, but I think people hurt the most from it were female Egyptian actresses. And to my Egyptian brothers.... please stop considering a 60-year old bikini-wearing Nadia al-Jundi a sex symbol. When I first saw her movies I thought they were made to torture prisoners at Guantanamo.

* One more word to my Saudi brothers: stop raping women under the age of 13 (or what you call marriage), although if you stop doing it Al-Arabiyah will run out of news.

* Another big fight took place between several members of the Jordanian Parliament today. I'm willing to give a 100-JD donation to whoever is willing to supply everyone of them with guns for the next fight. Seriously, we need to cut the number of members from 120 to nothing.
* A big storm hit Kentucky and many people became homeless. In order to help, the US government gave them food supplies, but those supplies turned out to be contaminated with Salmonella. It's really terrible what happened to Kentucky, but it could be God's way of saying, "here's what you get for inventing KFC".
(In the picture above is Mariana Bridi da Costa, a 20-year old Brazilian model. She got a bad infection last month, and doctors ended up amputating both of her legs, then removed her kidneys, then she died. So this beautiful girl suffered a lot and died. It's been a depressing year so I thought I'd depress you more by writing about it. And by the way, for the mokhabarat-guy-whoever-you-are-who-is-reading-this, I was just kidding about the Parliament joke, I swear I swear to God)


maroo said...

you choose the greatest/weirdest titles ever :D

What shall i say more i really love reading yr mikro-blogging :D

Ammar said...

Allah yer7amha, on a totally different note, did you get your passport back? the mukhabrat guy might be interested in knowing.

Farah said...

loool love the disclaimer ending.

you think somebody's actually reading this?

*smiles and waves at mokhabarat dude*

oh parliament sucks major ass i'm saying it i dont care.

nice knowing all of you xD

mab3oos said...

Lo Lo Looo. Not "Lola" Loo.

if you want the tips, you should wear a mini skirt or tight jeans!

Anonymous said...

I'm just curious as to know why you're called pig that often?

Anonymous said...

Ya salaaaaaaaaaaaaaaam, ya Hareega.

some of this stuff makes me howl, some I shouldn't be reading! TMI PIGS!

Anonymous said...

انتا طفرة في عالم التدوين, اكتشاف مدونتك مثل اكتشاف سر السعادة الزوجيه!

Anonymous said...

Hey Hareega, what a halarious inner security breach you have there ,
As for the Pig well what a beautiful life it has , but that is all it gets , otherwise it has a dicusting life. :)
And as for the guns, I suppose you meant water guns " that would be fun".

The Observer said...

I never knew that pigs are that gifted! hehehe

Hareega said...

maroo.. thanks for checking it out

Ammar, I GOT MY PASSPORT BACK, thanks for asking, I'm Mokhabarat knew that I got it back even before I did.

Farah: Another Disclamier: whatever the members comment on this blog reflects their own point of view and has nothing to do with mine

maf3oos, thanks for the correction, I'm keeping the title as it is, if I wear a mini-skirt I will go to jail.

secratea... not that often, at least i know if i get married it will be much more often

Kinzi.. I know, I sometimes feel guilty after reading what I wrote...

Abu Sasha, you're not encouraging to get married that way

Mirqab.. water guns, sure

Observer.. they are man

KittySigurdardottir. said...

I should not be reading this about pigs,but it caught my attention as it's so unbelieveable,and it has aroused my curiousity.And I could not help but wonder if it's both the male and female pigs that you are dicussing her?

By the way there is a museuum in Husavik(a small village in the north),Iceland, you might be interested in visiting,Hareega.Sufficed to say it has something to do with hogs but nothing to do with sows.

Hareega said...

Krystal, thanks for the info, I just wanted to make a joke of that fact, i'm not really that interested in animals' biology

KittySigurdardottir. said...

A joke.You like jokes,Hareega?Well,you'd like this one,the museum that I mentioned in Husavik,is a Phallological Museum *trust me she's got the giggles now*.

Anonymous said...

Abu sasha is not married , he is an athlete with special interests in life , and he likes to snap shot everything...

I think I know who he is

Ali Dahmash said...

Colored TV is the most funny and scarry as well. I find it realy strange how much time and money the Arab world spends on video clips!

I like the KFC joke and I don't eat it thank God.

Anonymous said...

what's the matter with you hareega?
the prophet married ayesha when she's 9 years old.
saudis just follow his sunnah.

Anonymous said...

this is funny :)
what is name of the song in the title? and who sings it? thanks!

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