Tuesday, October 03, 2006

An Innapropriately Very Angey Old Man

Some patients with irregular heart beat are at risk of developing strokes (jaltaat) so we give them a blood thinner (momayye3) as prevention. The most famous blood thinner was originally made from rat poison. Many people in the world are on it , it's called coumadin (warfarin). I gave it to a patient about a year ago who was having this problem, he's about 80 yrs old.

I saw him the clinic the other day ....

Patient, "Doc, I have a question for you"

Hareega, "yes"

Patient, "I told my daughter about this medication I'm taking, the coumadin or whatever you call it.... and she told me it's made from rat poison"

Hareega smiling, "Yes, that's true"

Patient mesh 3ajbo , "So you're telling me I'm taking rat poison"

Hareega, "Not really, this medication has some rat posion in it, but at very very low concentrations"

Patient em3asseb , "But it's still rat poison"

Hareega, "Yes but it doesn't kill you, it helps make your blood thin to prevent clots from occuring."

Patient em3asseb o wasleh ma3o la hoon, "but it's rat poison, i've been taking rat poison for a year now"

Hareega, "If you think about it all medications are poisons, all of them can kill you if you take them at high doses"

Patient, "But they're not all rat posions, are they?"

Hareega, "No"

Patient khalas mgab3a ma3o, " so why did you give me the rat poison? Did you think I'd like that"

Hareega was smiling and trying to calm him down while thinking in his mind "3annak la akathto" , then said, "sir, there's water in rat posion but we can still drink water so what's the problem?"

Patient, "I don't want the rat poison, I'm not a rat"

Hareega, "Well even if you were a rat you wouldn't like it either ha3 ha3"

Silence for 5 seconds.

Hareega again , "OK sir, if you don't wanna take it it's up to you, but I have to tell you that you'll be at a higher risk of having a stroke"

Patient after calming down a bit, "OK, is there another medication I can take other than the rat poison?"

Hareega, "Uhm aspirin, you should be on it already, it's not as good as the rat poison but it's better than nothing"

Patient, "OK, is the aspirin a posion"

At this question Hareega felt so glad that he used to read Majallet Majed when he was a kid and answered reciting an article from Zakiyyah al Thakiyyah , "No aspirin was originally taken from a tree, but now they make it in big factories"

Patient, "OK"

Hareega wanted to add some excitement, "but of course, aspirin can kill you in high dosages, just like rat poison."

Patient, "But it doesn't kill rats at high doses"

As he was leaving, he turned around to em asking "Does it??"

I answered , "I'm not sure, ask your daughter"


Moey said...


walak had zay el *******

I'm not a racist, bas zakkarni eb wa7ad menhom

Me said...

Funny one! next time he comes for a check up make his sign something in case he dies to declare that it will be his own fault for not accepting the treatment!!

ساري said...

You should give him a rat as a gift on his birthday so as to consume the remaining coumadin.

Seriously, if these are actually the answers you provided to his questions, then you -my friend- are a very clever guy.

Moral of the day:
"Rat posions won't kill you, they'll only make you angrier".

Nice story.

Dar said...

Hehe :) that is exciting , hada o ho 3omro 80 , mnee7 ma they consider it as a malpractice !! , bs sho gosto wel rats , laykoon hada "splinter " elli betla3 bel ninja turltles !!


Mala2e6 said...

amoot w a3raf sho ma7al il stars b comment moey :D

hareega ..alla ya3teek toult il bal

well patients can be a real pain in the..neck. i am the worst patient ever,i whine all day and when my doc gives me medicine i forget to take it(i am supposed to take two pills now maslan)

Hareega said...

moey ya zalameh gool shu el kelmeh omm 8 njoom hay?

summer... i didn't make a sign but documented that in the chart fifty million times

sary, thanx bro

dar, ba3rafsh meen splinter lol, ana mesh 3oshak el sanafer faqat

mala2e6 who knows maybe your doctor is blogging about how irritating you are in the clinic :) akhwaiyyeh

Mala2e6 said...

loooool..my doc blogging?

that will be the day!!

Amer said...

LOOOL, 3arasi Majallet Majed. I still have the old copies ta3oon el early 90s :D I used to love Kaslan Jiddan LOOOL