Most Breaking Outstanding CNNish News Coverage Around the Clock with Hareega

** The Lebanese have finally chosen a new president for their country, Michel Suleiman.
The different sects also reached an agreement on the best time and location for Suleiman to get assassinated.

** The Amman municipality decided to install 115 cameras on different traffic lights this year. The traffic lights are expected to spot about 200 speeding cars and 200 thousand middle fingers.

** A 77-year old man broke a record today for being the oldest person to climb Mount Everest.
Experts expect him to be approximately 90-years old by the time he's descended from top.

** The Jordanian government lifted the price of oil for the 8th time in 2 years earlier this month. Amman remains the most expensive Arab city.
To deal with the problem, it is rumored that government is planning to life the ban on both male and female prostitution.

** A Saudi club has paid Real Madrid 2 million dollars to play a football game with them. Rumor has it that the Saudis also offered 5 million dollars for the Spaniards to bring their Under-17 team to visit Saudi Arabia, and they don't even have to play a single game. (you have to be evil to understand this joke)

** The president of Gambia announced last week that he is planning to kick all gays out of his country.
Right after this announcement, the stock markets for all Cappuccino-making companies have significantly dropped.