Your Facebook Status: Your Short Diary

A friend told me she stores her facebook stati. I liked the idea, you look one year back and it reminds of things, usually tiny things that can bring memories from good times you had. I'll do this every year or so. The most recent are first...

- America: STOP YOUR SEXISM. if you're gonna allow women to breastfeed in public, you should allow men to urinate in public without being charged with "public nudity". Men are human too

- is upset that "bitch" isn't part of my cell phone's sms auto-dictionary , I may need to start calling people by their real names

-is asking people not to panic over the swine infleunza, even though if you get it your skin will PERMNANETLY BECOME PINK AND YOUR FECES WILL SMELL LIKE BACON, FOREVEr, but don't panic , calm down...

- You know you're not eating healthy when the fire alarm goes off every time you fart


-encouraging people not to panic about the swine influenza, even though IT CAN TRANSFORM YOUR FACE TO MAKE IT LOOK LIKE A PIG IF YOU GET THE INFECTION.... DO NOT PANIC PEOPLE, DO NOT PANIC


-As much as I love myself as much as I hate narcissists


-I'm so amazed by the enormous amount of asbestos found in the office and already considering giving donations for mesothelioma research


-wishes the government was just as a creative and aggressive as the influenza virus

-Free medical advice from Dr. Masannat: to stop a hiccup hold your breath for 20 minutes

-Fuck Susan Boyle.. ok? FUCK SUSAN BOYLE. F-U-C-K S-U-S-A-N B-O-Y-L-E

- microbiology 101: candida smells like baked bread, Pseudomonas smells like grapes, gram negative anaerobes smell like my car

-So annoyed by my neighbor who keeps trashing the street every Saturday night. I think it might be the right time now to make him an offer he can't refuse

-I terribly miss Jordan around Easter time (not as much the rest of the year)


-I received a coupon from Southwest for a free drink on one of their flights. I'll be happy to mail to anyone who wants it but I guess it will stop at four mailing stations before it reaches your address.


-Every insect on this planet -or at least my bathroom- can be shrunk to a third of its original size with only 10 cc of Absolut Vodka


-Dust, heat, cold, rain, poop of unkown origin on the road, knowing about every accident, road closure and song dedication in Tucson, Phoenix, Yuma and LA, middle fingers, dead dogs, dead cattle, talking to voices in my head, voices talking back... things you encounter when you drive from Tucson to LA


-I'm totally against the death penalty, except for those who make collar shirts without those small pockets. Those designers need to be executed naked upside down in public stadiums and beaten up afterwards Mussolini-style


- haven't done my taxes yet, in hope to be picked for Obama's cabinet...


-Fever is not a state of vanco+zosyn deficiency, thank you very much


-I do not like all those facebook quizzes, at least those that tell me I'm a lesbian


-Will always stand behind Argentina, led by the most genius super-human to ever touch a ball and dance with it, the greatest human alive Mr. Diego Armando Maradona... Diego, football's your bitch

- Message to all my patients: I'm now officially accepting tips. On the door of my clinic you'll find 2 cups: kindly drop your tip in the blue one and your stool sample in the green one


-decided to be his own primary care physician, and has already talked himself out getting a rectal


-Keep your toothbrush 6 feet away from the toilet seat to avoid contamination. Or you can just do like me and bring a toothpaste with a very powerful mint flavor


-I realized today I'm not exactly slim enough to walk between 2 parked cars. My apology for setting off car alarms at the UMC parking today

-Does solving complex Math equations on my butt make me a smart ass?


-wondering if my neck pain, ear numbness and the delicious taste of gram (-) anaerobes in my mouth have anything to do with my visit to the dentist last week


-Can't stop smelling the 1930 World Cup Argentina Football shirt he got on ebay. mmm that arousing smell of sweat from 80 years ago, can't wait to buy the shorts


- Is it normal to get high for 3 hours after visiting a dentist?


-Staying in Sedona is like marriage; it's great only in the very beginning and most people say they're having much more fun than they actually are.

-For lent I'm giving up rational thinking. The church should honor me: not only am I giving up something, but all my patients will start praying more


- is going to become vegetarian for some time. That measure is expected to increase the population of beef worldwide by 300%


-just knew that Viva La Vida was chosen as the best song of 2008. I guess Jizzed in My Pants wasn't sophisticated enough for those chauvenistic judges.


- is so glad he personally participated in physically doing a fecal transplantion today. I can't get that aphrodisic smell out of my nose


-is experimenting with matches while listening to Sunny came home... (Kathy if you're reading I'm just kidding I swear to God)

-if facebook wants to add "Like" beside each status, they should also add "Doesn't like" or a middle finger as well.


- is still bidding heavily on Mafioso Joe Bonano's eyeglasses. He can't wait to lick them to taste the suspense (and blood if he hadn't cleaned after his victims)


- is observing Charles Darwin's 200th birthday. In his memory I will throw bananas at my neighbor's door and take a dump in their backyard


-is spending Valentine with person I love the most and will always love and serve more than anybody in the whole world... I'm dating myself

- A woman with 6 kids decided to have 8 more and is asking for donations. I'll donate money to do whatever it takes to push those babies up where they came from


-watched Waltz with Bashir. It will ruin your day, make you feel helpless, useless and weak, and will suck your soul. You really really have to watch it.


-is tired of explaining that Jordanians do not eat dogs or cats (but a pair of old fashioned juicy goat testicles....hmm.. we would kill for that)


- is suffering from FUFS(Fucked-Up Foot Syndrome). The major risk factor for FUFS is insisting on wearing your new shoes even when they're too small for your feet


- is working on his visa renewal. Plenty of paper work, paying lots of money, mailing stuff, whatever it takes to not end up selling falafel in manhatten

-is shokced Comcast viewers in Tucson had to see that naked-men ad during the Super Bowl. Ads like these should only be on COX.. (baaad joke, i'm going to hell)


- is excited about Arizona playing in the American football Super Bowl today, until then he's watching a REAL football game between Liverpool and Chelsea


- is watching the debates about stimulating the economy. Here's my suggestion for a great stimulus package: Jessica Alba


- is learning new things from his infection control rotation. From now on he'll start washing his hands after each rectal exam


- is now convinced by the voices in his head that he can light his brain farts. Hey Tucson Fire Department: Watch Out!

-watched My Bloody Valentine. A bit scary but very inspiring. It inspired me to bring an ax to work tomorrow

- George W. Bush: FUCK OFF.

-on this great Martin Luther King Day I'd like to send my best wishes to African Americans living in South Dakota, all 3 of them

-is glad that all passengers survived in that plane crash in NYC. Not only that, but those lucky bastards will get back their 15 dollar luggage check-in fee

-had it with those patients who don't show up to clinic because they're sick or "got the flu". I'm an INFECTIOUS DISEASE doctor for God's sake...!

- I love big butts is a great morning song.

- is devastated about the terrible massacres happening in Gaza every day.

- is wondering if stealing the bible at his hotel room would be considered a sin. I may have to read the bible to know (will be skipping the 10 commandments)

- wishes everyone a non-tragic, non-catastrophic, satisfactory acceptable new year.

- is starting the period of saving lots of money on haircuts. Hint: become bald.

- the curious case of Benjamen Button: the curious case of how a shitty terrible awfully long movie gets excellent reviews.

- is pissed from his neighbor who blocked his garage. I'm gonna tell her 2 little kids today that Santa is fake. Merry Christmas!!!

- watched slumdog millionaire, it's a proof that you can have a wonderful Indian movie with very little dancing, and with the movie lasting less than 9 hours

- congrtulates his friend Rob for making his first solo flight. I would also like to tell people that I bought a new Hoover and assembled it myself. So we're even.

- OK, no more Christmas carols before 12/24. Remember, even when Jesus himself was born there were no Christmas carols on radio.

- is tolerant to lactose, intolerant to lactose fermenters....

- I don't know about you guys, but I don't really like it when my patient on the vent wakes up for a second , looks at me and then gives me the finger

- is excited about doing his first stool transplantation. It really saves lives. Give me feces or give me death.

- saw Quantum of Solace today. What a quantum of bullshit.

- believes that women should be independent. They shouldn't blindly follow what their husbands tell them to do, except of course if you were Hillary Clinton

- is shopping for tickets + hotel in Oralndo this January. Hey Congress, you bastards, I want an 800-dollar bailout

- because it's very cold in most states now, why the hell don't they send all their firefighters to LA? Montana and the Dakotas: redistribute your firefighters

- is planning on attending the World Cup in 2014 in Brazil, can't wait for the tickets to go on sale in February 2013

- strongly advises everyone to never iron their shirts while wearing them. Those irons can be very hot.

- has some sewage leakage in the house. Thank God it's being fixed now by Joe the Plumber.

- will be missing Tina Fey.

- Obama, will he pave the way for a Kenyan invasion of America?Will 50 cent become his advisor? Will he erect a statue for Stalin? just predicting new McCain ads

- enjoyed looking at the first plane ever flown successfully by humans in 1903. I'd rather fly with this plane than with Southwest.

- discovered a new disease, and called it Frozen Ball Syndrome (FBS). The major risk factor for FBS is going from Arizona to D.C. without bringing winter clothes.

- was glad to have a poster at the IDSA meeting. He was also glad to go thru the experience of being ignored by 13 thousand people from every corner of the world

- misses the smell of formalin in the morgue from the days of his second year medical school. He'll go smell his jar of pickles to bring back the memories

- can't imagine how someone's ass can get kicked for one hundred years? Any idea, Cubs fans?

- is hoping his new thick old-fashioned eyeglasses with the super gigantic thick lenses will add to his nerd cred

- is suspending his clinical research to focus on the economy.

- People should not complain about things they get for free. If you don't like the new facebook quit using it.

- watched "Burn after Reading". Can't wait to see its sequel... "Forget after Seeing"

- McCain never failed to shock me. I think he will win this thing. Shit!

- shouldn't have tried that massage-sofa at Sam Levitz today. My apology to the workers at the store. They'll know why tomorrow.

- is amazed by the 8 gold medals Mike Phelps got in Beijing. I bet I can get more medals, but fart-lighting isn't considered an official Olympic sport :(

My Experience with Swine Influenza

I sat down with four other infectious disease physicians in a small room this afternoon to discuss a problem: we don't have any drugs left to treat influenza.

It was worse, we were running out of kits that do the rapid test to check for influenza. We have to run test that take a long time to come up with a result

We had 10 patients who almost certainly had the swine influenza virus, which makes me think we have hundreds of cases only in town. In the US, it's almost certain there are thousands of patient with the infection who are yet to be diagnosed, and probably will never get diagnosed.

The CDC (Center for Disease Control) encouraged anyone with symptoms resembling influenza to go to the ER. Meanwhile, they told physicians to not check those with mild or moderate symptoms for the virus. So we have more people coming to the ER with large numbers, but we won't be testing them.

Our ER is full, so we are emptying one of our wards and transferring all patients coming in with such symptoms to that ward. Most will not be tested, and only the very sick will be admitted to the hospital and treated. I'm still not sure were will the drugs come from , but they will come from somewhere. Even in America, you'll need someone influential to push some buttons and get some drugs sent to those who need them.

Homeland security (headed by the former Arizona governer) will be shipping doses of Tamiflu (influenza drug) that will be enough to treat 30 patients in our hospital. It's harsh to say that, but I'm glad the first case of swine influenza was reported in Arizona yesterday, which allowed them to send us some Tamiflu. It didn't occur to them that Arizona borders Mexico, and that we have hundreds of people coming to Arizona from Mexico everyday.

And here comes the challenge: we had to make a policy of treating only a certain group of patients who we believe will be the sickest and who may actually die from this influenza. It's not an easy decision to tell someone with the infection that they will not be treated because there isn't enough drug on board.

What makes things less dramatic is the fact that those drugs work only within 2 days of the onset of symptoms, so even without the extreme shortage that we're experiencing we wouldn't have treated a lot of those infected to start with.

Last year I took part of an enormous workshop lead by former Surgeon General Richard Carmona to teach students from the colleges of medicine, pharmacy and law about the dangers and implications of an influenza epidemic. It was a little overwhelming for most participants, but the point we all agreed upon: We can never be 100% ready to face an epidemic. The ethical and economic challenges of any epdiemic can be more dangerous than the epidemic itself.

Take this for example: In 1972 in Yugoslavia, one citizen came back from Saudi Arabia carrying a small pox, and infection that had been eradicated long before that. This one person infected many relatives, and those relatives spread the infection all over the country. The military had to act and lock those infected or even anyone with symptoms in buildings. They forced everyone in the country to be vaccinated, and held checkpoints to make sure everyone was vaccinated, and would force everyone to get the vaccine. They succeeded in eradicating the infection, and thanks to science smallpox has been eradicated from the face of the earth since 1979.

If you think the military would only violate the privacy and freedom of citizens in communist Yugoslavia, think again. If the US was faced with a similar epidemic , it won't be surprising to see soldiers down the streets forcing sick people to stay home, forcing laws that decide on the patients who need to be treated, and shutting down schools and arresting whoever aims at spreading mass hysteria and panic among people.

Fortunately, this current swine influenza epidemic is similar to "the regular human influenza" that have affected everyone of us several times in our lives. Even though the number of those infected will continue to rise, and very few people may succumb to the diseases, it's nothing out of the ordinary and most infected people will recover beautifully. This outbreak showed that we are much better prepared for epidemics than we were a century ago, a lot of work still needs to be done, and influenza will keep mutating and hitting and the next hit may not be as soft as this one.

And Egypt slaughtered all pigs- for this moment I am ashamed of being an Arab, seriously.

Influenza Hits Again

Update (April 29th): One dead in Texas. Suspected case in Israel. There is no reason to panic, I'm very serious. The "human" influenza killed much more people this year and nobody was that anxious about it.

Update (April 28th): 19 suspected cases in Asutralia. Passengers on a plane from New Zealand with a suspected case are being traced. "Swine flu" is probably the wrong name given the virus, but who cares anyway.

Update (April 28th): 2000 cases in Mexico with 149 deaths. Two new cases in Scotland. The flu shot doesn't work. Wash your hands.



Update(April 27th): Two more in Kansas, total of 28 cases in New York. The WHO raises the pandemic alert for swine flu. Obama: "Swine flu cases not a cause for alarm". I agree with Obama , at least for now.

UPDATE (April 27th) : Six new cases in Canada. One suspected cases in Spain.
the good news: two anti-viral medications work against the virus. Don't take them unless you have symptoms.

UPDATE (April 26th): the number of deaths increased to 103 in Mexico. New cases have been reported in Ohio and New York.


Two events took place last week that reminded the world how aggressive and fatal influenza can be. In Egypt, two women died from the avian (bird) influenza infection. Meanwhile in Mexico, 68 people died from another type of influenza virus, called the swine (pig) influenza.

The virus is smarter than humans. It has the ability to change its genetic component in a very unpredictable way that allows it to become more aggressive, more easily transmissible, and capable of infecting those who were vaccinated with a flu shot.

Ninety years ago, during the famous 1918 Spanish influenza epidemic that had nothing to do with Spain, more than 5% of the world population died from influenza. Most of those who died were young and healthy. Very recently and after a lot of controversy, scientists went back and isolated that 1918 virus and infected mice with it, and found that the vigorous immune response of the infected victims caused their death. That explained why the more healthy people died from the infection.

The worrisome thing about the swine influenza infection is that it can be transmitted from human to human. There are currently 8 cases in the US, six in California and two in Texas, and only one of those has been to Mexico and none of them had contacts with pigs.

Influenza can spread on a large scale over the world just like the previous outbreaks did. It has the potential of infecting a large number of people especially in this age where thousands of international flights occur everyday. What's very promising is that vaccines and anti-viral medications can possibly control the spread of the virus before it kills 5% of the world population again.

Obama, the Coward?

A lot of Americans are very angry at Obama. They're mad because he shook hands with Hugo Chavez, because he mentioned opening a new page with Cuba and because he said that America's foreign policy was , at times, irresponsible and reflected a lot of arrogance, something that the whole world and the majority of Americans agree upon.

They are mad because they think that foreign policy should be run the same way a gang must be run. You have to show you've got balls. You have to talk down to other people, and if you think a leader is a dictator, whatever dictator means these days, you should spit on him in front of the world.

They believe George Bush was the right man to defend America and make it stronger, because starting wars was his game, and it showed that America has balls, that America can kick ass.
Those Americans are short-sighted and very unwise to say the least.

Any observer can tell that the US has got much weaker during Bush's presidency. to start with, he was responsible to a great degree of the 9/11 attacks. Numerous pieces of evidence showed that were many alarms of a large attack about to happen on US soil, and he failed to respond to that.

During the few years he ruled the world afterwards, he managed to make America weaker than ever before, and strengthened its potential enemies. Although there were no more men hijacking planes and driving them into buildings, the level of extremism especially in Pakistan and Afghanistan escalated to dangerous levels.

Bush lost his war in Afghanistan. Taliban is very popular these days over there, and they control large areas of land. Taliban thrived not because Mulla Omar was an exceptional leader, but because many circumstances have allowed for something like Taliban to form. Bush killed and captured its leaders, but he has not changed the circumstances allowing for such violent hateful organisations to form.

Bush decided not to talk to Iran, because it was part of "the axis of evil" and he doesn't talk to the evil (not sure why he was still talking to Dick Cheney?). Iran now has advanced nuclear weapons that can hit many countries in the region. They have the final world in many decisions made in Beirut and Baghdad, something that never ever happened in the past.

Bush didn't talk to North Korea, because they're evil. Over the past few years North Korea has developed very advanced nuclear weapons that can target many many countries, and they really don't care what the US has to say about it.

Many Republicans argue that the UN is ineffective in minimizing the dangers of crazy leaders. However, when it comes to Iraq for example, the third country in the axis of evil, it was only the UN that was successful in disarming Saddam Hussein of all of his weapons of mass destruction, and it was the US who went to war for absolutely no justifiable reason. Besides the tragic loss that Iraqis had (losing their country and nearly 100,000 people), the US itself lost their economy, thousands of soldiers, and all the respect in the world. Any sympathy the world had to the US after 9/11 was lost during the Iraq war.

George Bush made the strongest country in the world a joke, but was smart enough to still convince his people that he was the tough guy who protected his country from the evil doers. The fact is that his country was struck by a terrible attack because of his negligence, and all "the evil doers" got much stronger thanks to his policy of not talking to them or using the UN to limit their dangers.

Goodbye, Goodbye, Goodbye

The moment I met you my life changed. Yours too. From one quick look into your hazel eyes I could tell your life story; how you loved your life but life didn't love you back, how much you loved people but all what they did was look down on you and if they had the chance, step on you and treat you like an worthless insect that deserved no respect. You had many questions and I had all the answers. I read you and you read me, and our journey began on a chilly December Arizonan night.

We had our ups and downs. I worked all day long and couldn't see you, and when I came back home we didn't talk much. Our relationship soured one day after another and I only blame myself for that. When I felt I was losing you I chased you from one corner to another. Every time I'd get closer to you you'd slip away. I only wanted to know you better, to feel you, to smell you, even taste your secrets like no man had ever done, but you ran away from me. You were scared of me and I was scared of myself for you made me discover the big coward living inside of me. When I realized what I've done it was too late to fix anything.

Even when you're gone now, I can still see you in my vivid dreams, and sometimes feel you sneak underneath my pillow and touch my lips and perhaps give me a kiss I thought I did not deserve. I didn't mean to hurt you so bad, I didn't mean to make you look smaller every day in my eyes. I now cannot live with the fact that history can repeat itself and I can repeat the same mistake again.
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(Dedicated to the lovely cockroach I found in my bathroom last winter. Since then I've sprayed her with different sprays, including a hair spray, and poured some good Absolut Vodka over her sacred body until she shrunk to a microscopic size. RIP)

BiMonthly Video: Disgusting Domino's

I saw another clip where a Domino's worker coughs intentionally into a sandwish.
this is terrible!
The 2 workers were fired.
This comes as part of my bimonthly videos.

Deaf Man Walking

I saw Mr. Brown last year, and placed on intravenous amikacin, hoping we may be able to stop it in a few weeks.

He had missed a few appointments and finally showed up 10 months later.
I wanted to check him for potential side-effects of amikacin, like kidney failure and hearing loss.

"Hello Mr. Wislon"
"Hello"
"How are you doing?"
"What?"
"How are you doing?"
"Good"
"Are you having any hearing problems?"
"What?"
"ARE YOU HAVING ANY HEARING PROBLEMS?"
"What?"
"Shit!"
"What?"
"I said shit"
"Good" and he smiled.

I went outside and saw my attending.
"Mr. Wislon can't hear anything", I said
"oops!"
"Did he use to hear well last year?", I asked
"Yes, I'm sure he did"
"Shit!"
"I know"
"But I'm glad someone can at least hear what I'm saying"

Take-home message: Never miss a clinic appoitnment.

Jo and Jihan

* JO Magazine now has a website (finally). You can check it here. After Shihan, Al-Ahali, Al-Anbat, Al0-Sabeel, al-Mashreq....etc had their own wbesite, now JO has one. You can only subscribe to it if you live in Jordan, and if you live in Jordan there's actually no point of subscription since you can get it anywhere.

* A Jordanian girl named Jihan attempted sucidide (or as Al-Sawsaneh reproted it: did commit suicide but didn't die!!). Here's a clip of the attempt taken by one of the fifty million cell phone camreras of people-with-nothing-else-to-do (we have fifty million of them). Here's a clip of the incident, with comments focsuing on hijab, Jordanian-Palestinian racism, and want kind of chips was she eating on the roof of the building.

Strange Medicine

Just when I thought Bahrain was among the more progressive Arab countries, this comes up!

"Male doctors may not be allowed to treat female patients"

This, again, confirms my belief that the people who come with such rules are the one most obsessed with sex.

Toxic

Just like most doctors, I really really hate seeing a doctor.

I finally decided to see one after 4 years of no medical supervision.

After she saw my ass-kicking record-breaking weight she asked, "How much do you exercsie?"

"I do not".

I did some blood work. She called back 2 weeks later, "Your blood work is (surprisingly) normal. Your HDL, the good cholesterol, is a little on the low side though..... but that could be from all that exercise you're doing"
--------

You know your lifestyle is not healthy when even your doctor is making fun of it. Also, the way she was making fun of me (her patient) reminded how I was talking to some of my patients on several occasions. I finally got a tatse of my own poison ... and it felt sooo good!

Attitudes and Altitudes

I was talking to a patient who used to work at the Stock Market, "your white count is 0.5 today"

"And what was it yesterday doc?"
"It was 1.0"
"So it's much lower!"
"Well it's not a big difference from yesterday"
Once I said that, he went ape shit on me, screaming for ten minutes, "How come you're saying it's not different, it's half the number, it was 1.0 yesterday and today it's 0.5, it dropped by 50%, it's much worse, I know there's something wrong with me". If it wasn't for the IVs he was hooked to, I felt he was going to get up and rip my face off.

I told him, "I know you're sick, what I meant to say, is that even though your white cell count is much lower than yesterday that doesn't change things because it was very low to start with. You were sick from the start, 1.0 is a pretty low number, so even if it dropped by half, it's still pretty low"

He calmed down a little bit, and I went on, "It's like falling down from 20,000 feet. Yesterday you falling from 20,000 feet. Today you're falling from 40,000 feet. It's just as bad even if the number is doubled. "

His face turned red, not sure why.

I really hate it when my patient scream at me in the ICU.

(P.S. he's doing fine now, that damn HCTZ killed all of his white cells)

Siempre....

I will always stand behind Argentina, the greatest football team that ever played a football game, the most creative collection of heroes who ever stepped on a football field, led by the most genius of all geniuses, the inspration of the most inspired, the poem and song of football, the best human being to ever dance with the ball, the only super-human to ever exist and the greatest man alive Mr. Diego Armando Maradona

Diego, we're your slaves and football's your bitch

GoodBye Abu 3antar

Argentina Magic

Warning: Contains football.
Choose the HQ.

Argentina 4 Some-other-team-who-cares 0
The missed chance at the end is better than any goal

Lost Without Translation

A little conversation with a cousin a few months back...

Fares, "Have you seen the new James Bond movie?"

Cousin, "Yes, it was sick, very sick"

Fares, "Really, I heard it was good..."

Cousin, "Yea you should watch it, very sick"

Fares, "?????"

Cousin, "OK you don't get my lingo, what I mean by sick is that it wasn't sick like you shouldn't watch it, no it was sick like it was bad, baaaaad, very baaaad, ill man, it was ill, and f----ing awesome"

A Thought....

I'm Jordanian enough even if the fucking stupid test on fucking facebook didn't say so, and please get a fucking life and stop fucking being proud of yourself for knowing how to say fart in a Ras-El-3ain dialect.

and if you send me another request to take your test I will prove to you I'm Jordanian enough by ripping your face into twenty small pieces and spreading them on my next mansaf dish

Ok, let's make a deal, don't complain about this and I won't use profanity for the end of the month.

Quick Meaningless Useless Baseless Movie Review from Someone Who Doesn't Take Movies Very Seriously

Here's a quick highly unprofessional movie review of some movies I watched recently:

1- Man on Wire: you'll never regret watching an Academy Award winner for best documentary, definitely not this one. It's about a French man named Petit who wanted to walk on a tightrope between the World Trade Center towers in 1974, and it makes you feel like you were the one going through this experience, that you were the one going to walk on the rope. The "Petit" man was larger than life, and you're mistaken if you think the movie is just about walking between buildings. You'll be shocked to know why did he choose to walk on the rope. A-

2-Harold and Kumar Go to Guanatanmo Bay: this is one hilarious movie, and some great acting by Rob Cowdry the Daily Show reporter. He adds a special flavor to the movie. C+

3- Rachel Getting Married: It wasn't only Hathaway who did a wonderful job in this movie about a recovering drug addict, everyone even those in 5-minute roles made this movie seem very real. If you have never saw, heard, lived or interacted with an addict, you may not like it so much. B

4- Gomorra: This is an Italian movie about a terrible mafia-like gang in the streets on Napoli that has killed more than 4000 people and still kills one person every 3 days. Unlike other movies and series about the mafia like the Godfather and the Sopranos, it shows the very ugly (and real) side of such gang. It's definitely worth watching even after the first hour when you can hardly find any relation between the different characters. The author of the book that inspired the movie did not only face death threats, but is still under police protection because the Gomorra vowed to kill him before Christmas. And to the director Gilardino or whatever his name is, what a kick-ass world-class superb job man. A-

5- Waltz With Bashir: I reviewed this one in a separate post. A masterpiece. A.

6- Citizen Kane (1941): the reason I decided to watch this 70-year old movie is how it's considered the best movie ever made to date by many critics. In ten minutes I passed out on my sofa. If you've seen it tell me if it's worth watching.

7- Pineapple Express: I love stoner comedies, but not this one. The script sucked. Not a complete waste of time though. D+

8- Deliver Us From Evil: this documentary talks about the sex scandal that broke in the Catholic church. It's enraging and extremely sad. B

9- Body of War: Another great documentary about the Iraq War. These documentaries should never stop coming, bring 'em on. B+

10- Once. A very soft love story (almost). Warning: it's a musical. Another warning: women are much more likely to love this movie than men. B

11- Reservoir Dogs (1992). A movie by Quentin Tarantino. Gruesome. Bloody. Violent. I don't know why I kept watching it. If you love such movies you'll love this one. I didn't like it. (D on my personal scale, but yours could easily be an A)

12- Hot Fuzz: A British comedy that is very funny in some scenes (believe it or not). I didn't like its second hour. C+

13- United 93: Saw it once, and my stomach turns whenever I see scenes from it on TV again. The movie itself, well-done, but it might be better if you didn't watch it. B+

14- When We Were King (1996) : A documentary about a boxing game between Muhammad Ali and ... who? Who on earth is George Forman? It goes back to 1974 and tries to explain why Muhammad Ali was an icon. It tells you a little bit about the world. A little bit. B

15- Mr. Bean's Holiday: I didn't lose hope that Mr. Bean can at least once star in a great comedy. This wasn't one, and 90 minutes were way too long. C

16- Sicko: this is a great documentary from Mike Moore about how citizens of the wealthiest country in the world are suffering from the lack of health insurance more than they suffer from the diseases they have. Painfully strange and strangely painful. A-

Waiting to watch: 12 (Russian), Caché, Wendy and Lucy, I love you man, Fireproof and .... Bruno (to be released in July!!)

March 21st....

Good songs last forever, this is a good song for a great occasion.

Encounter

I finished seeing my last patient in the clinic.

Before she left I told her, "I'd like to see you again in June at the university clinic"
"Can I see you in the Kino clinics instead?"
"No, I don't have a clinic there in June. I do in May"
"Can I come in May then to that clinic"
"Yes, it's a little early, but that's fine"
"Good, that way I can go to the casino after I see you"

By the way, she's 79 years old.

BiMonthly Video

Some meetings are interrupted by an unexpected guest, which can come in form of solid , liquid or gaseous material.

At Sixes and Sevens

Are we still now among the least respected people just like we were six years ago?

For all those thousands who suffered for no reason, just like that young woman in this cartoon, I am sorry for being another cheap Arab on this planet. We still have not recognized that we are worth much more than what the market value suggests, and we still wish for others to respect us when we have not respected ourselves. Arabs everywhere, including Jordan, still look down on each other, hate each other, make plots to hurt each other for no obvious reason.

It's just another year....

Unforgettable Movie Scenes

Some movie scenes stay in memory forever. Some movies may not at all be that fascinating, but a scene, a word, a face gesture, a scream, a joke, a sound effect may leave its mark in the history of entertainment.

Here are some movie scenes that I think are very remarkable for one reason or another. Most contain spoilers:

1- Rocky Bolboa:
Rocky talking about life.





2- My Left Foot: This is Christy Brown, My Son, Genius!

This is a powerful one. The little kid on the floor is Christy Brown. He was born in the 1930s with cerebral palsy, which left him diabled everywhere except the left foot. As a child he was considered unable to do anything, but what he did was listen to his mother teach his healthy siblings. Then he did this. This is a real story. Brown went ahead to become a successful painter and writer.





3- The Godfather: I do renounce him!

A very classical scenes



4- Taxi Driver: Are you talking to me??

I like it when people talk to thmemselves.



5- The End of Forrest Gump: great last scene.




6- Jerry Maguire:
A great quote that I always use while talking to patients who refuse treatment for any reason:






7- Erin Brockovic: Numbers

Julia Roberts and a great scene. Sorry for the sound-picture discrepancy.





8- The Sixth Sense: The little kid speaks up

Probably everyone remembers the very last scene, so I included the one before that which is just as strong.

Disclaimer

I deleted a post that accused everyone of being a coward. I know exactly, EXACTLY, what your response(s) will be. They won't add anything and they won't change anything. I enjoy reading your comments but sometimes I have to act upon them, so I'd rather delete my whole entry than cherry-pick the comments I want to be posted.

Again, I know what some of you really really want to throw at me, so don't feel bad about not saying it. I discovered that I really care about myself, it's very simple. Sorry about not accepting comments on this particular post.

Let's talk about football, that Barcelona-Lyon game was fantabulous....

The BiMonthly Video: House Singing

This is a video of Hugh Laurie, the main character in House MD, singing in the 1990s about Steffi Graf the tennis world champion.

He has a great voice actually, I heard him sing on Leno and SNL.

Enjoy....

Radioactive Radium in Jordanian Waters

After reading this piece on Al-Arabiya, I looked up the article published on the Feb 19th the Environmental Science & Technology (first author:Avner Vengosh) . It was conducted by 12 researchers from Duke, Yale, Applied Science University, Al Quds University, Ben-Gurion University, and Soreq Nuclear research center in Israel.

The conclusion, is very concerning to say the least, I'm quoting from their abstract:

"High levels of naturally occurring and carcinogenic radium isotopes have been measured in low-saline and oxic groundwater from the Rum Group of the Disi sandstone aquifer in Jordan. The combined 228Ra and 226Ra activities are up to 2000% higher than international drinking water standards. Analyses of the host sandstone aquifer rocks show 228Ra and 226Ra activities and ratios that are consistent with previous reports of sandstone rocks from different parts of the world.
These findings raise concerns about the safety of this and similar nonrenewable groundwater reservoirs, exacerbating the already severe water crisis in the Middle East. "

Moreover,

"This study has revealed high levels of Ra in groundwater from the Disi sandstone aquifer, which is considered the future drinking water resource in Jordan and other countries in the region. The high Ra content largely exceeds the international drinking water standards and poses a health risk upon long-term utilization. "

In the Acknowledgments at the very end ,
"This study was supported by the U.S. Agency for International Development, by the Bureau for Global Programs, Field Support and Research, and by the Center for Economic Growth and Agriculture Development, The Middle East Regional Cooperation program (MERC Project M25-060). D.H. was partly supported by the Doris Duke Charitable Foundation. We thank Emily Klein for editing an earlier version of this manuscript. We also thank four anonymous reviewers for their informative and valuable comments that improved the quality of this paper. "

I've read hundreds of acknowledgements at the end of scientific (medical) papers, and this is the first time I read they had anonymous reviewers. There must have been a good reason why they wanted to stay quiet!

To read the abstract, click here .

Transplanting Feces

So I mentioned previously how we're doing stool "fecal" transplantation in patients with severe diarrhea from a bacteria called C.diff, whic is potentially fatal

Here's a description of the procedure

1- Walk into the room

2- Introduce yourself as the "transplant physician"

3- Explain to the patient's family that they can save his life.

4- If asked how, tell them all what they have to do is to save their poop. You can give them a "save-the-poop" card and place the transplant date on it.

5- Test the donor for blood-borne pathogens and do stool studies

6- On the big day of the transplant, ask the donor to perform his normal morning activity of defecation. Store the feces in a container (hat).

7- Soon afterwards, you can start the process of stool transplantation:

8- Pour in normal saline into the poop container.

9- Start crushing and mushing the poop mixing it with the normal saline, until it starts looking like gravy.

10- I forgot to mention: don't perform the procedure one day before Thanksgiving.

11- Continue mushing the poop for a few minutes.

12- Add barbeque sauce (optional).

13- If by now you're still not wearing gloves, it's time to do so (also optional).

14- Place the poop solution in a bag hooked to an enema tube.

15- Introduce the enema gently over a period of fifteen minutes. Use one hand to hold on the enema tube while using the other hand to hold up the poop bag as high as possible so the poop can drop slowly under the effect of gravity. Your body posture should be looking like the statue of liberty (but instead of the torch you're holding poop)

16- If the patient and the donor ask you for the 100th time if this proecdure works, tell them that a guy named Aas showed that it does.

17- After you're done placing the enema, ask the patient to try to hold on it for as long as possible.

18- Clean the patient, and tell the donor that you may have to repeatt the procedure in the future. Unfortunately, you cannot use the same poop sample more than once, hence the phrase, "same shit different day" doesn't apply here.

19- Wash your hands.

20- Wash your hands.

21- Wash your hands.

Bon appetit

Oscar Predictions

It's the first time I make Oscar predictions. If they turn out to be as good as my football predictions, then Haret Abu Awwad will win 14 Oscars.

If you don't want to run the list, I'll tell you about my biggest prediction: IT's Heath Ledger NOT winning aan Oscar. The Academy tries to avoid being predictable, and nothing seems more predictable these OScars than Ledger winning an Oscar for the Dark Knight.

Milk will win best picture, as movies about the oppressed (the blind, mentally challenged, holocoast survivors, gays....etc) usually win big.

This is my list, expect this post to be deleted by Monday morning.

Best Actor in leading Role: Mickey Rourke
Best Actor in a Supporting Role: Josh Brolin
Actress in a leading Role: Anne Hathaway for Rachel Getting Married
Actress in a Supporting Role: Taraji Henson (the only shining thing in Button)
Best Picture: MILK
Animated Films: Wall-E.
Custom Design: Curious Case
Directing: Slumdog millionaire
Foreign Language Film: Waltz with Bashir
Makeup: Curious Case

Why God Why?

Why did God create earth, humans and the whole world?

Did he have to? Did he want to? Can God regret something he's done a very long time ago?

The BiWeekly Video: Not Showing Up

Comedians Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert presents an Emmy award to a nominee who was not present.



Ricky Gervais took his award the following year, in a very unconventional way, click here to watch.

The Passion of Valentine

HAPPY VALENTINE

Here's one wonderful song :

Argentina .. A Shit-Load of Talent

Two years after defeating them in Paris, Argentina destroyed France again yesterday with a great victory in Marseille under the leadership of the greatest human on the face of this place, and the greatest Argentinian in history since Che Guevara, Captain Diego Armando Maradona.

I wonder why France still insisted on getting humiliated again on their soil. They could have avoided that by playing Brazil, Germany, England... anything.

I will leave you with the goals from Gutierrez and Messi, candy for your eyes, enjoy the magic, enjoy this morning cup of coffee

The Well-Orchestrated Waltz With Bashir

I'm not sure how can I recommend a movie that ruined my week.

This movie is animated and the animation is incredibly good. It talks about Sabra and Shatilla, among many things. It slowly moves you into within the Palestinian camp where people were slaughtered, and it sucks out your soul from you at some parts of the movie. You will absolutely feel like crap, especially toward the end.

The ironies in this movie are the best thing about it. The songs are well-made but when you hear their lyrics you will cringe. The irony of a person affected by a genocide contributing to another one, and the irony that Waltz with Bashir left me with after I left the smallest and only cinema in my town of one million people that showed that movie (while the Dark Knight is still in some theaters): most Americans can barely recall or know what that massacre was about, and this movie might be the only reminder they have. A movie made by Israelis, talking how they were partially involved in this crime. Some Israelis did not avoid history, but actually converted it into a master piece that made it a nominee for an Oscar for best foreign movie. I wonder if any Arab nation is willing to make a movie about some crimes, or misfortunes, that they have contributed to in the past.

This year in the Oscars, I'm rooting for Israel.

Mikro-Blogging: Lola Loo, Lola Lee, Lola Lo Lola Li Alla Mhayyi Shaware3na

* People should start tipping doctors after they see them in clinic. All workers get tipped. It's unfair I make no money in tips when Arturo the coffee guy makes 12 dollars an hour. I'm gonna leave an empty bottle outside my clinic door, but please don't pee in it- do that in the red bottle.

* A pig's orgasm lasts 30 minutes. Whenever people start calling you a pig (which happens to me every day), you should just look up in the sky and scream out loud, "I wish".

* Men have their own PMS. I had it yesterday, Post-Mansaf Syndrome also leaves you with an strange mood and makes you often bitchy.

* During the Super Bowl there was an error and a 30-second porn clip of naked men showed up on TV. It happened only on one cable network here in Tucson. The big surprise: it wasn't "COX". (terrible terrible joke)

* The company apologized for its subscribers and will compensate them with 10 dollars each. You know that's really great about America, people watch porn that is not only free, but they actually get paid after they watch it.

* I'm really excited about Obama trying to initiate plans to use alternative energy resources. But I'm not excited because it's better for the environment. I just want Saudis to start doing useful things, like getting a life and stop sending those retarded text messages to Arabic TV stations.

* Colored TV was a great invention, but I think people hurt the most from it were female Egyptian actresses. And to my Egyptian brothers.... please stop considering a 60-year old bikini-wearing Nadia al-Jundi a sex symbol. When I first saw her movies I thought they were made to torture prisoners at Guantanamo.

* One more word to my Saudi brothers: stop raping women under the age of 13 (or what you call marriage), although if you stop doing it Al-Arabiyah will run out of news.

* Another big fight took place between several members of the Jordanian Parliament today. I'm willing to give a 100-JD donation to whoever is willing to supply everyone of them with guns for the next fight. Seriously, we need to cut the number of members from 120 to nothing.

* A big storm hit Kentucky and many people became homeless. In order to help, the US government gave them food supplies, but those supplies turned out to be contaminated with Salmonella. It's really terrible what happened to Kentucky, but it could be God's way of saying, "here's what you get for inventing KFC".

---------------------------------

(In the picture above is Mariana Bridi da Costa, a 20-year old Brazilian model. She got a bad infection last month, and doctors ended up amputating both of her legs, then removed her kidneys, then she died. So this beautiful girl suffered a lot and died. It's been a depressing year so I thought I'd depress you more by writing about it. And by the way, for the mokhabarat-guy-whoever-you-are-who-is-reading-this, I was just kidding about the Parliament joke, I swear I swear to God)

The BiMonthly Video: Zippers of 1963

This is a really interesting clip from a lady talking about clothes and zippers in the 1963-era. There's more into this clip than zippers.

This comes as part of Hareega's bimonthly youtube clips of 500,000 views or less that are worth watching.

Moron

I called one of the interns.

"Cindy, I tried to log on my hospital account with your password, but it won't let me in!"

"Yes, I changed it last week, every six months we have to change it. Just add 3 to the end. I thought you had a password by now."

"No, I tried to get one last year but there were technical issues. I didn't feel like calling again, I hate those IT people"

"I see, sorry for not telling you about the change"

I sighed, and made sure my sigh was heard well on the phone, and told her, "that's OK, but if you don't mind next time you change your password let me know."

"Ok, I'm sorry"
-------------------------------

When I was a student I often hated the residents and attendings working above me, some of them were arrogant self-centered morons.
Well, I think I'm becoming an arrogant self-centered moron myself, and it feels so damn good.

You Can Tell You're in Arizona When...

I was at a video store. There were a few people in it, but was not totally packed.

At the front desk they announced, "Mr. Mike Rodriguez please come to the front desk"

and two people showed up.
------------------------------------

Being called to admit the patient Garcia in the Emergency Department. I scrolled down the list of patients in the ED and I found 4 Garcias. Looked up the patient with pneumonia and there were 2 of them.
----------------------------------

I walked in a really big auto shop where I left my car to be fixed. There were quite a few employees inside, but I had to wait 15 minutes for the employee who speaks English.
--------------------------------

When I see Italy's flag and I think to myself, "Wow that's a Mexican flag without the eagle in between"

Bill Clinton: Stay Out Of My Womb

US presidents often seem very relaxed after the end of their presidency, and they can produce some funny moments like the one from yesterday (as opposed to W. , who was naturally "funny" during his time in office)

Vingada Go Home (Warning: Contains football material)

I found a great deal on Expedia, with a first class ticket from Singapore to Lisbon, operated by Lufthansa

This is the flight our national coach Nelo Vingada should be taking to Lisbon. He should never be allowed to return to Amman. Put him on the no-fly list.

Our team played today in Singapore today in the Asian Cup qualifications, and we lost to their team 2-1. We lost to SINGAPORE (the team that lost 6-0 to Iran the previous game). And just before that, we drew with Thailand in Amman, and just before that ... we were humiliated in the world cup qualifications by Kyrgyzstan, then North Korea....

It's the coach's fault. I blame it all on the coach. We have some great players and they have proved themselves in several occasions. He selected the wrong players (like Bashar Bani Yassine) and excluded great players (like Rafat Ali). The team has no harmony, no music, no specific plan for any specific situation. It looks dead from the first minute of the game.

After the WC qualification disaster, we thought about ending the contract. But when the geniuses at our Football Federation signed his contract the first time, it was to end by the end of 2008. Those idiots did not notice that the qualifications were to start in January 2009, so now we were stuck. We did not want to end his contract just one month before the big qualifications. We renewed the contract and he will remain stay as our national coach despite the terrible job he is doing.

Buss-Bor

I sent my passport to the medical credentialing office in Texas.
They reviewed it and approved the renewal of my visa, and sent it back to me today, by Fedex.

Now I'm sure there are a few FedEx planes that leave Texas everyday,
and one of them caught fire and crashed today, the pilots are ok, but the plane got burned pretty badly.

I hope my passport was not on that plane, I should figure that out tomorrow, but I already started imagining myself filling in the Mukhabarat application on how I lost my passport, "Uhm it was on a plane that crashed in Texas. I was not on that plane, just my passport was, I've never been to Texas, but my passport was... hatellak kaman jawaz"

God is Not With Us

In football, a player may be given a red card and sent off. What usually happens is that his team, being one player down, would crumble and suffer a bad loss. Occasionally however, that team sometimes manages to rise and play a better game finishing it with a great victory.
That team does prove that they are better off without that player.

Some of you may not like this, but I think that player is God. For ages we thought he was on our side, that he would bring us victory against the godless Jews who were stealing his holy land. I don't have any pleasure in saying this, but God was not on our side. God was with the enemy. God was with the Jews. God was with Israel. God was with the occupiers and God gave them our land. God allowed them to found Israel and God allowed the UK and the US and whoever knows to supply them with weapons and money and waves of admiration and allowed them to hold strong and protect their country. I'm a bit tired of people saying God has always been on our side whenever we make some achievement (like blowing up the tires of an Israeli tank) and not mention that statement whenever we get screwed ....when was that? let me think: Oh yeah, 1947, 1948, 1967, the 1990s, the 200s, the loss of land, the loss of lives, Qana, Gaza, Jenin, Jerusalem, Baghdad....etc.

We'd like to think that God is on our side. We'd love it. We love it when we know Ricky Martin or Ben Affleck is on our side, so how about God, the creator of the universe? He must be on our side. That gives us comfort, that gives us some sort of strength that we were unable to handle in any useful way.

But worst of all, it gives us a sense of relief that we never deserved. For when see the massacres happening in Palestine and Iraq, the daily merciless blood-shed that we did not stop or (effectively) try to stop, we'd like to leave it to God. "God is with our brothers there. He's with them, and he will give us victory one day and bring us our land back"

Let me tell you something, everybody thought God was with them. From the very early days of war, fighters on both sides used to believed God or some god was with them, fighting with them, giving them victory and strength. But those who won have always been those who worked hard and planned well.

It's great to believe in God. I'm one of those believers, and he provides great relief and peace to anyone when they need it. But we have placed on his shoulders what we should have placed on ours. We have handled him our duties, and loaded him with our responsibilities. Miracles happen only to those who deserve them, and good fortune comes to those who never thought they'd get lucky. I'm not sure if God is on our side, he might be, his wisdom is sometimes difficult to interpret or predict, but I'll just assume we're playing with one player down and we have to plan well and work hard for victory.

Quick Unprofessional Movie Reviews

Since my movie IQ is not nearly close to the geniuses called movie critics, I'll give the average guy's review of some movies, not all of them new, that I've seen recently (plenty of time to kill these days). No spoilers.

1- The Curious Case of Benjamen Button: The kind of good movie that you may not like. I can understand why some people LOVED it, but you can very much feel that you have wasted 3 hours of your life watching it. A little bit Forrest-Gumpy at times. One Oscar it will definitely win: best makeup. It also gives a great message of hope for old people: one day you may look like Brad Pitt. B

2- The Wrestler: The big blond guy who plays the wrestler (Mickey Roruke) had to put in 30 pounds of muscle to play this role and he does a fantastic job. The director makes a wonderful touch at least in one scene that will stay in my mind for a long time (One Tiny Spolier: It was on Robin's first day at his new job the Deli, with him walking in the empty hallway of the store). A-

3- My Bloody Valentine in 3D: This film is the inspiration for Newton's Fourth Law: A bad film is a bad film regardless of its dimensions. D

4- Gone Baby Gone: Seemed to me like a trashy film until its second hour started. It has one of the best endings any movie can have which leaves you with one ethical dilemma that you may never recover from. B+

5- Tropic Thunder: A very good often shocking comedy. B

6- You don't mess with the Zohan (SPOILER): Yeah Yeah the nice Israeli guy who wins the hearts of Arabs and converts them from bloody terrorists to peaceful companions. C

7- Forgetting Sarah Marshall: Great comedy, but with suboptimal acting from the major actor (Peter-Jason Segel), I didn't think he was very convincing. Everyone else did a wonderful job. Still not as good as Knocked up or Borat. B

8- Four Christmases: Short laughs. Easily forgettable. C

9- Religulous (Documentary): Bill Maher does a good job in challenging ordinary people about their belief, asking very good questions, but apparently he searches for laughs more than intelligent conversations. Yet it's another comedy that makes you think. B

10- Slumdog Millionaire: This movie is like a very well written and directed Egyptian movie. One of the best movies I've seen in my life. A

11-Born on the Fourth of July (1988). Although the movie tells one real story of one veteran returning from Vietnam, it's the story of many soldiers around the world coming back from wars. The biggest loss they have is not a physcial but psychological one. It's dark. It's sad, and it's very real. War sucks. B+

12- Twelve Angry Men (1957). If you ever thought about watching a black-and-white movie, this is the one. With its well-written script and out-of-the-world acting it proved that you can make a pheonmeonal movie with a low budget. If you like watching a colored version they have re-made it in 1997 and that one is good too. A

13- Reign Over Me: Adam Sandler proving he can be a great actor, with some emotional scenes from this better-than-average film. Someone other than Liv Tyler should have played the psychologist. B

14- Burn After Reading: If there's one great thing about this movie, it's the final 5 minutes. The comedy was genius and not very funny! B

15- Body of Lies: I reviewed that before given its Jordanian connection. This movie is terrible. Moreover, Not a single scene was shot in Jordan, and there is nothing special about the story or the acting. It doesn't even qualify to be pirated and sold in one of those shops that appear in the movie. F

Marie

Another day in my HIV clinic. A patient walks in for his first visit.

"Mr. Rogers, you have missed several appointments in our clinic here," I said.
"Yes I'm sorry. I spent some time in Kansas, my friend committed suicide"
"Oh I'm sorry"
"Yes, he had a very beautiful wife, he's been married to Marie for 20 years, but his depression kicked in again and this time he couldn't take it anymore. Poor Marie"
"So when did you get HIV Mr. Rogers?"
"In 2006"
"Do you know how did you get it?"
"From Marie"
"Uhmm.... from.... Marie?? "
"Uhm.... Yep, Marie"
----------------
(All names and locations have been changed to prevent myself from being thrown in jail and having my medical licence provoked and my clinic bombed)

نفديك ابن الحسين

بايعناك اليوم

You Don't See That Everyday

Always listen to the safety instructions before takeoff, just in case your plane hits a flock of birds and crashes into a river ten minutes later.

155 passengers and crew, all survivors.

Mansour Rahbani

The other brother behind the phenomenon called Fairuz passed away yesterday in Beirut.
R.I.P.

How Some People Spent the Weekend

" When the bombings slowed down a little bit, my friend went outside with his kid and watched some kids in the neighborhood as they were playing. He kept holding his kid in his arms. Suddenly a missile hit the neighborhood. All of those kids outside died. All of them. His kid was hit too and died in his father's arms. His father was holding him in his arms to protect him, but he still died from that missile. They still can't bury the kid, every time they go to bury him they start getting hit by missiles. They've tried three time so far and they still cannot reach the graveyard to bury the kid, so they went back home with the dead kid. They're saying 800 Palestinians died, but it's way more than that. Those 800 are the bodies that were counted, but a lot of bodies were buried under their houses and nobody is counting them, probably they'll never be counted. Houses are filled with dead family members who cannot be buried. Ambulances are being attacked too. Those ambulances carry the red cross sign but they're still getting hit by missiles too. Gaza is 12 miles long, 8 wide, but there are one and half million people trapped inside this hell and people are still blaming them for it "

This is why he only gets 1% of votes whenever he runs for office

Dennis Kucinich in Congress...

On What's Happening in Palestine

- Jordanians have the right to demonstrate in front of the Israeli embassy in Amman. They were not involved in the decision to sign a peace treaty with Israel, and nobody asked if it was a good idea to open that embassy in Amman. If the US really cares about the people's opinion they should pressure our government to close the embassy.

- Also if the US cares about democracy in the Arab world, here's an Arab regime for you elected by Arab people in fair and just elections: Hamas.

- There's nothing wrong in questioning everything Hamas has done. Supporting Hamas blindly is the same as supporting another Arab regime blindly.

- There's nothing wrong in being emotional. Jews were very emotional about establishing a homeland and that how they founded Israel. We sure need to put more thoughts in whatever we're doing, but don't let your emotions fade away.

- American politicians know about the humanitarian crisis in Gaza. They know that Israel is occupying a land that belongs to Palestinians, and they very well know of the tragedy that's happening in Gaza. But they are after all American politicians. The real tragedy to them is when they stop seeing cash flowing into their pockets.

- Democratic countries win wars. Very rarely can one find a country led by dictators winning wars, at least that's been the case in the past century or so.

I've been thinking for so long of what's the best way to end the most famous conflict, previously known as the Arab-Israeli conflict, later known as the Palestinian-Israeli conflict, and now known in the media as the Hamas-Israeli conflict. You are very wrong if you think for a second of the conflict as a Hamas or a Palestinian-only issue, this is an Arab issue or else you wouldn't be feeling the anger from every corner of the Arab world. I can tell you one thing, if Israel has truly been the victim, if Israelis were the ones suffering and losing their kids one after another, you'll be finding world conference being held on urgent basis to solve the issue. You'll find leaders taking risky trips to the region to stop the fighting.
Enough said.

Some 2008 Jordanian Stations in One Super-Awesome Hit Song

I wrote this "thing" - you can call it song/poem/scribble/piece of garbage summarizing some Jordan stations in the year 2008. It's really great that we don't have a lot achievments -that made writing this much easier.
Reega
----------------

It’s the end of the year as we know it
The end of 2008, beginning of 2009
Gas prices are up, gas prices are down
And the one screwed's always the little man

Jordanian movie hit the world
Won some twenty something awards
Teenager opened fire at tourists in July
Then pointed the gun at himself and said good-bye
We sent the Olympic team to Beijing
Many medals we were told they’d bring
They got back home with no good story to be told
There wasn’t any bronze, silver or gold

It’s the end of the year as we know it ....
A man named Salameh proved to be no fag
And on the top of Everest planted a little Jordanian flag
Jerash festival was no more,
Jordan festival it was, “We'd like to explore”
the government said, but it faced objection
When people heard about the Jewish connection


It's the end of the year as we know it.....
Another year with honor killings
On our roads many teenagers were dying
In Petra Tiesto played and he was thrilling
and he's coming next year, God willing
Our football team played and lost, they never went too far
but who cares? Our Queen is the new youtube star!


It's the end of the year as we know it.....
Hamas and Fateh stopped all discussions
Georgia was bombed by the Russians
Our eyes watched Americans and their election game
how the big old Republican veteran called McCain
was crushed by a black man, Barack Hussain
In Lebanon, Baghdad, Gaza and Mumbai
we saw evil, we saw terror and I don't know why
the world stays still watching as poor people die
But I know that we'll still be watching,
we'll still be dancing to the songs of fear
the songs that the end of times is near
and this is the end of the year as we always, always know it.....

Once Again

I haven't said anything about the events in Gaza, because I didn't feel like copying and pasting. I could have gone back and copied anything from the war on Lebanon, the six-day war anniversary, Israel's 60 independence anniversary, or whatever I've blogged after one of the Israeli massacres. I'm pretty sure that I will, in the near future, be looking for this post, copy it and paste and with little editing make it suitable for another Israeli massacre that is bound to happen as long as the state of Israel continues existing.

Whatever is happening in Gaza now will end after some time only to happen again later, maybe in Gaza, or in some other Palestinian city.

Some people blame Hamas for these events. I think Hamas was terribly stupid in throwing those lousy rockets. It's just dumb to seek a war when you have no chance of winning, and yes Hamas had no chance of liberating an inch of Palestine by throwing these rockets. Those rockets were the perfect gift for Israel to start something that it had done extremely well since its foundation: play the victim and express its right to "self-defence", and telling Americans, "If San Diego was attacked by rockets from Tijuana wouldn't you respond?"

However, attacking a terror state should not be called terrorism, and whatever unreasonable goals that Hamas had on its agenda should not make it an justification for people to blame it. With all my sorrow and grief for the hundreds of victims that died and are still dying from the recent attacks, this tragedy doesn't even compare to the tragedy of losing a whole nation and worse, its division upon itself. I'm not sure what is the solution to this current problem, but that's why we have politicians, that's why we pay them very good salaries, so they can figure out problems for such crises, and I'm afraid they're not doing their job.

MiiiiiKRO - BLOGGING: Mekkarren Mefarren Mokbelen Modberen Ma3an, Ka Julmoodi Sakhren Hattaho Assaylo Men Ali.... Ali.... Yaaa2

-It's always good to know that obesity was once considered a sign of physical beauty. I always felt that had this been the 17th century I would be voted People's magazine Sexiest Man Alive.

- The name of my country in English should have been Ordon and not Jordan. It really sucks whenever I'm looking up Jordan on google or youtube and the first 1000 results are those of basketball player, a tooth brush or some stripper.

- I watched the movie Slumdog Millionaire. Never imagined that Geroge Kirdahi was such a moron. Also, taking dancing out of Indian movies makes them really good, despite shortening their duration from nine hours to three.

- The movie events take place in Mumbai, and 200 people die in it. It's not about the recent Mumbai events, it's just another regular Indian movie with 200 people dying in it.

- I performed the first stool transplantation in the hospital. It felt a bit strange how I discussed the procedure with the infection control nurse over lunch. Specifically, while we were eating mashed potatoes we were talking how she was able to crush human feces and place them in the rectal tube. Mashed potatoes never tasted so good.

- I haven't decorated my house for Christmas. I heard there's a very big sale on Christmas decorations next week so I'm waiting for that. Can't believe those idiots who bought all the decorations earlier in the month.

-Women are bad drivers. Period.

- Have you ever wondered who are the adults with the maximum amount of mental retardation ever known to mankind? I can answer this question from a medical standpoint. It's those adults who still forward you emails with some good-luck messages and warn you that your house will be on fire if you ignored the email.

For those morons I'm telling you, I was inspired to write my blog from an angel, and if you don't copy my 3-year old blog and forward it in one email to 20 people, you're going to get rectal cancer, your mother will get syphilis and your father will be raped by a guerrilla continuously for 16 years. Forward now.

- Conan O'Brien : "People are still discussing the shoe-throwing incident at our president. ... It was reported today that the Iraqi journalist who threw the shoes at President Bush had his arm broken when security subdued him. And even worse, it was his shoe-throwing arm. That guy is out for the season."

-People usually take something to read when in the bathroom unloading their duty. Some people like this habit and may even start taking 2 or 3 magazines. As for me I'm currently in the process of building a library with 4 shelves, Wi-Fi, with a small table for coffee or tea.

- People who still believe in signs need to go to rehab. The only sign I believe in is the middle finger and it will be up in your face the next time you ask me what my sign is.
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P.S. I always post pictures of very hot women from around the world. To show my patriotism I decided this time to display some Jordanian beauty on my blog. This picture is breath-taking, I really went "haaaaaa2" and my heart paused for 5 seconds the first time I saw it.